Always Lost, Always Hopeful (268) Fly to Your Grave

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
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previous day 






4-202-05-14 06:48
Uthgerd's House, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


We head east. The weather is still bad and the bandit on the road in front of Valtheim kind of rubs me the wrong way, so I not only kill her, but lead my followers inside and kill the bandits there as well. The sun comes out briefly. There is actually a large bed here and as much privacy one can ask for, so maybe we'll return here for our sex orgy the day after tomorrow?

Running towards the Hillgrund's Tomb, we get one more shower of rain, but by the time we reach the path up the mountain, the sun has come out again.

The path leads to an ancient-Nordic-looking ruin. In the small vestibule is a young man who seems very unhappy.

He introduces himself as Golldir. This is the tomb of his family, and when he heard his aunt Agna came here all alone, he rushed here but heard horrible voices from inside and doesn't dare go in all alone.

Okay. Let's have a look.

This is your usual draugr dungeon, not a very big one, but the draugrs are the fiercest we've ever seen. I get hurled across rooms and even knocked unconscious twice, and that is in spite of wearing high-grade Resist Shock  gear. It's sheer horror.

We find Golldir's aunt Agna's dead body. Why did the draugrs kill her if she was their relative? Because an evil mage, the enemy of Agna and Golldir's family, has settled down in this tomb, Golldir explains. He even has a Dragon Priest with him.

We kill them by the end, and we survive, including Golldir. But it was a terrible experience. More strongly than ever, I feel I must stop putting my followers into danger like this. We will do the Mzulft quest, because they stole books from the Winterhold College library, and that's something you don't to to my College. But after that, it may be a good idea to have a few weeks' rest before Lydia's birthday and my journey home.

Once we're back in the fresh air (see the picture above), we look for a way further uphill all the same, because it would be interesting to try and find that mountain fortress I saw in my recent dream. But it doesn't seem to be possible to reach it from here. So we travel to Darkwater.

We do some socializing and then relax in the warm outdoors pool with the villagers of both sexes. I'm curious to see if Ghorbash will be able to avoid getting a hard-on. He is, actually. Maybe he feels self-conscious in a new situation like this, maybe he is apprehensive because of the dragon whom we can see flying back and forth in the distance, or maybe he keeps thinking intensely about something very unerotic.

Ulfvidr seems to be spending more time here than in his shop.

I ask the locals if they have some kind of an agreement with the dragon. They say they don't and in fact they're wondering why he attacks only very rarely. Maybe he watches the Windhelm–Riften highway and therefore can't be bothered with this village where people are used to taking cover quickly.

Two hours later, at about six in the evening, I notice that Ghorbash has gotten an erection after all. I suggest maybe we should leave for Mzulft and spend the night in Northkeep.

After we've washed with Dwemer Soap, says Lydia.

Of course, Dwemer Soap! I would have completely forgotten it.

We go to a geysir a little farther and wash ourselves. Then we put on our armors while I warn Ghorbash that we may run past a giant but he's not aggressive and in fact he's our friend, so Ghorbash has to just run past him and in fact escape if necessary, but not attack him under any circumstances. We all run much faster than a giant. Bears, on the other hand, are very dangerous in this area and are to be attacked without hesitation.

Once again we give the bandit castle a wide berth. We do discover a Ruined Fort with two walking skeletons, though.

Running away from a bear, I wave hello to Billy and then we still end up having to kill two bears. On the road, we meet the trader Althea with her bodyguards, and then we run up the stairs towards Mzulft.

We start searching in the Dwarven Storeroom which, as you may remember, is somewhat away from the main compound. We find the remains of a human eaten by spiders. I can't even begin to imagine how painful and revolting it must have been. But he's way beyond help, or even identification.

Fortunately, the spiders haven't eaten a key and some notes that lead us to the whereabouts of a locked chest from which we find four books on Falmers.

By the way, where have all the spiders gone? Well, never mind, let's get out of here.

All we learn from the books is that there should be Falmers living in Alftand, which we already knew. I'm staying with my decision to not pursue this Falmer quest any further. I'll just return the books to Urag. But that can wait. We're on our way to the south right now, so we head for Vernim Wood where we catch a market trader still at work and hear some local news. Then we run to Shor under the most spectacular starry sky.

A little after ten, we reach Riften. I have little doubt Madesi will want sex. That's why I give Jordis the key to our house (assuming Lydia will stay with Maul at his new room in the palace) and go straight to the Black-Briar Manor where Madesi lives now. He is at home and very happy to see me.

next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (256) Can You Hide behind a Dragon?

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-05-02 07:03
Palace of the Kings, Windhelm, Eastmarch, Skyrim


Yrsarald tells me to suck and I do it eagerly and then he fucks me sideways and then stops and just fondles my breasts and such until I get aroused and start making movements with my lower body and then he fucks me some more and stops again, and so it goes on with my getting increasingly impatient and he fingers me down there and I end up begging him to fuck me and he lets me have an orgasm and finally he comes himself.

Yrsarald is the only man about whom I can think that he fucks  me without feeling filthy.

"You violated the rules yesterday," he says, touching my buttock with his fingers, a symbolical slap.
"I'm sorry." I'm not, but I know I'm supposed to say it.
"Had you missed me so terribly or did something happen?"
"I missed you so terribly. And I felt awfully guilty."
"What about?"
"We were... my followers and I, we were in this area a couple of months ago, but we bypassed Windhelm without dropping by because we were going to a place in The Rift and I wanted to get there in daylight and that's why I didn't want to... be delayed here." I can't bring myself to telling Yrsarald the truth – that I didn't want to come here because I felt reluctant to go through that silly ritual of stripping naked in another room and waiting here until he would deign to turn up.
"And the next time we came here, you were gone," I continue when Yrsarald keeps quiet and just looks at me.
"I missed you too," he says, reaching over to squeeze my buttock. "I fantasized about you when... Well, when I was feeling lonely."
"Thanks!" I can imagine what it was he left unsaid. I press myself against him and try to make a kiss mark on his neck. He pushes me away and says "No."
"Sorry." Somehow what he just said has completely restored my mood. I kiss his penis and then sit up. "Yrsarald, there's something I think you need to know."

And I tell him about Ter'Avina, and that there may be some bad air that seems to give people mild delusions, and that maybe some people from Winterhold would like to resettle there, or, who knows, maybe even some Nords from Solstheim or Bruma County.
Yrsarald approves of my plan to talk about it with Jarl Korir of Winterhold and the wizard Sybille of Solitud. He can certainly supply a few ships. He tells me he's been sounding out Jarl Balgruuf who is reluctant to become the High King of Skyrim, but there really isn't a better candidate.
"I'm sure Korir wouldn't say no," I inform Yrsarald.
He laughs. "I'm sure he wouldn't."
Korir is a good man, but has far from enough public respect to rule (even nominally) over the whole of Skyrim. I know that.

Yrsarald goes on telling me how he asked the priest Runil of Falkert to tell him his views on the future of Skyrim (Runil apparently carries a lot of weight, although he's not letting it show), and we discuss his tour to Hammerfell. They fought some battles and pushed the thalmors back from the border, but then they found out that the local population didn't like them any more they liked the thalmors. That's why Yrsarald and Tullius decided to leave Hammerfell again. We'd better keep Hammerfell as a buffer zone – at least until the Empire can hammer out some kind of a deal with them. The main war is going to be fought in southwestern Cyrodiil anyway.

Then I inform Yrsarald that I found out there is at least one soul gem mine in Summerset, but I was unable to find it, because its location is a jealously guarded secret. Other than that, I don't know where to get many enough soul gems to supply an army with enchanted weapons. Yrsarald says not to worry, I did my best, and importing soul gems from enemy heartland wouldn't be feasible anyway.

Before I go, I ask Yrsarald to send a message for me to Hviterun the next time he has to leave the city, and he reminds me not to forget the rules the next time I'm in Windhelm. I swear to him I'll be a good girl from now on. Yrsarald tells me I have to drop by the palace before I leave the city, in case he wants me on the table on top of the map of Skyrim or something. I reply I'm looking forward to it.

Should I have a bath with him, I wonder. No, he says, there'll be soldiers walking in and out and he doesn't want them to see me undressed. I'd better use the bath at the inn.

When I have freshened up, I go shopping. Sofie finds me and I tell her what I've been doing and ask her if she has found any new friends and would she want to live in Markarth. Sofie thinks she'd rather stay in Windhelm for the time being because, firstly, she has been making friends, and secondly, now that she can afford warm clothing it's not such a bad place.

I know. I've always liked it here, too.

We spend some time on the marketplace, talking to everybody and taking in the mood and such. Having gotten the permission to leave from Yrsarald (without having to lie down on the table first), I exit with my followers by the northern gate and hang around a little in the elven camp. Then we run across the snowy hills towards Amol City, admiring a nice snowfox and killing a couple of trolls and wolves along the way.

It was not our fault! The wolves started it. Although, on second thought, maybe we got too close to their meal.

The structures on the left in the above picture are Amol City. The big castle in the background is, of course, the Winterhold College. And in the next picture is the main street of Amol City. (Just to remind you – the days when it was a city are long past. Amol City of today is little more than a village.)

Even though we don't have any particular business in Amol City, we somehow end up spending more than two hours socializing and shopping. Yeah, the two are largely the same thing when you stop to think about it.  ;-)

Never mind me. I seem to be in a philosophical mood today. The weather is really nice, cold as it may be, but we don't care, we're warmly dressed. We run to Winterhold now.

Remember the quest I got from the priest of Azura to find the artifact called Azura's Star? Well, I end up discussing it at the Winterhold inn, and the people point me to that jerk Nelacar (please don't tell Jenassa I called him that) who remembers a rogue mage who studied it and went insane and got several students killed in the process.

That's all I need to know. I'm not going to mess with that thing.

Now I go and talk to Jarl Korir about Ter'Avina. He is very much interested in sending settlers there, as well as in general cooperation with Yrsarald. His enthusiasm is dampened considerably when I tell him about the seamen having gone crazy believing to recognize me and not even seeing my followers. So he agrees to wait until I have consulted a powerful mage I know somewhere in Skyrim. (He obviously doesn't need to know it's Sybille.)

I have changed into non-combat clothing, as I usually do inside settlements.

I'm not sure what to do about Onmund. I don't really fancy spending the night with him. But then the girls remind me we were actually planning on traveling to Summerset. Right! This gives me an ideal excuse – we can leave in the evening and sleep in Shimmerene. Naturally, Dulizar will want something from me too, but I'm fine with that.

Before the evening, though, I have a lot of work to do. I go to the library first where I chat some with Renna and Lilia. Then Ertzebet gets a free moment and joins us, and a little later I take her aside to ask how it's going with Drevis. Ertzebet tells me he is spending a lot of time in the library, choosing moments when Alec is not there, and she finds their discussions utterly fascinating. They haven't yet kissed or anything, but Drevis clearly likes her.

I now tell Ertzebet about that Falmer quest and she is very interested and we approach Urag together. First, I show him an unusual book titled "Chronicles of Nchuleft". It has nothing to do with the Falmers, I just found it on my travels. Urag is really excited about it and I let him have it. Then he says he wants to get his hands on a book titled "Last King of the Ayleids" which he can magically see to be currently located on or near the wreck of a ship called Orphan's Tear on the coast of Haafingar, and would I get it for him? I promise to do it and he puts the location onto my map.

Now I ask him about the Snow Elves' so-called exodus and I end up browsing through a whole heap of books with Ertzebet. On the side, I overhear a rumor of that irate High Elf Nirya having a thing going on with Master Sergius. I find it most incredible, but Ertzebet confirms she has been seeing them together a lot. Well, quite frankly I don't care whom Nirya may fancy or sleep with. She has been pointedly respectful to me after I became the Arch-Mage, and for that matter I have never had any trouble with her before that either, and I really have to focus on the topic of the Falmers right now.

I end up fascinatedly absorbed in a book on Dwemer "marital aides" for some time. Some books contain nothing useful: a collection of weird jokes, a collection of weird food recipes etc.

To tell you the truth, some of the authors seem to have not been too averse to witty exaggeration, apparently valuing entertainingness more highly than veracity.

Anyway, I end up reading a lot about the Dwemers and very little about the Falmers apart from what I already know – that the modern Falmers are indeed the Snow Elves believed to be rotted out by the Nords in ancient times, and that they live in Blackreach (but not only, as I've had many opportunities to find out), as well as that persistent legend about them being blind which I know to be not true.

By then, Master Drevis has turned up. He sees Ertzebet with me and hesitates. I invite him to join us, making it sound like the most natural thing in the world, and ask him what he knows about the Snow Elves' exodus. Ertzebet suddenly mentions that a few books were recently stolen by a group of mages from Cyrodiil. They had put some kind of a spell on Urag so he noticed the theft only much later. But those mages were not looking for anything Falmer-related, that's why Ertzebet didn't think it was relevant. Exactly which books they took, she doesn't know. Urag wouldn't tell her.

Anything else she remembers about those mages?

Well, they looked very much like Synod and were very demanding and irritated. She only saw very little of them, but she heard Mzulft mentioned.

Well, yes, I know that group of Synod mages who came here, then went to Mzulft and lost their lives there.

No, she says, it's not the same group who looked for the Staff of Magnus . Those didn't steal anything. This group she's talking about came only recently. They went to see Tolfdir who is the acting Arch-Mage in my absence, and talked to him for quite a long time.

Drevis is convinced they were a follow-up to that party of Synod mages that got killed in Mzulft. He knows about the two sources of extreme energy the Synod mages had found – one, to refresh your memory, was the Eye of Magnus in Winterhold and the other one was the Staff of Magnus in Labyrinthian. By now, the former has vanished from our world and the latter has been moving around (with me). That second group of mages seemed to have been headed for Mzulft to find out what happened to the first group. But he's not sure. Does or doesn't it have anything to do with the Falmers, he has no idea.

Right. I leave the two and ask Urag about the stolen books. He shows me the list, but points out those books don't have anything to do with the Falmers.

All in all, there's no indication of the Synod group having been in any way interested in the Falmers. Except, of course, that there are Falmers in Mzulft – as in many other places.

I cast an encouraging smile at Ertzebet and Drevis and leave the library. Searching for Tolfdir, I happen to see Alec and Renna looking at each other in a highly suspicious manner. I wonder if I ought to tell Ertzebet. Well, if she's getting along nicely with Drevis, then it's actually a good thing if Alec is finding himself a new girlfriend. Still, Ertzebet ought to know. I'll tell her, but I really don't have time for all that relationship stuff today.

I find Tolfdir and he confirms what Drevis told me. The mages were from Synod and they were headed for Mzulft for all he knows.
Is there any danger of them having come to Skyrim to find me (or the Staff of Magnus  I'm carrying)?
Maybe, he says, but am I really afraid of them?
No, I'm not. But what took them so long to start missing their first party?
Everything takes long in the Synod, Tolfdir explains. I laugh. This is true.

We now turn to our business. Tolfdir is pleased with the rupture in Eastmarch closed, as well as grateful for the Dragon Heartscales that will be most helpful in his research. He gives me the latest spellbook he has written. From it, I can learn a strong protective spell called Dragonhide. It's supposed to deflect 80% of physical damage for about twenty minutes. This sounds really good. I will use this book instead of selling it. I'm really happy of finding after a long time a spell that is actually useful.

Now I send a telepathic summons to my girls. While waiting for them to turn up, I walk around with Renna and chat with some other students.

I notice for the first time that J'zargo has truly fascinating green eyes (even though a cruel face). But now Lydia, Jordis and Jenassa have found me, it's quarter to ten in the evening and we really have to get going.

The first thing I do in Shimmerene Mages' College is ask Quillinda about the war. She says, yes, there are clashes in Hammerfell, and thalmors are being expelled from the Empire, but Summerset has a tradition of not caring much about global politics, and there are many Bretons and Nords in Summerset anyway, and the Aldmeri Dominion has no troubles with High Rock to start with, so she doesn't think we're in any danger.

I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. My boyfriend Dulizar has turned up – as if he had smelled my arrival. Come to think of it, maybe he did. I leave the girls chatting with Quillinda and walk away with him. I'd rather fancy a nice bed, but that being unavailable I guess I'll have to settle for the warm tropical beach under the moons and the stars.  ;-)

next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (247) No, Thanks, We're Just Looking Around

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-23 05:34
Alva's House, Morthal, Hjaalmarch, Skyrim


This early we have the awesome bathhouse all to ourselves. While we wash unhurriedly, I realize we won't have to go to Dragonbridge at all on our way to Mor Khazgur. With the nice weather we're having today, I feel like exploring the mountainous area between two rivers south-southwest of Dragonbridge (greenish-blue marker on the map):

We bypass Dunstad Grove from the north and admire the scenery without discovering anything spectacular – just another Dragon Burial Mound and a hunter's shack called Cliffside Retreat high in the mountains.

The view from the latter is very beautiful and the hunter himself is kind of cool and tranquil. So it was worth the hike.

Headed for Mor Khazgur in the west, we jump down a very high cliff, squealing on top of our voices (because in spite of everything it's still scary) and realize we've landed inside a forn camp. We have to kill two men to get out. Then we run past an Imperial Army patrol and soon arrive in Mor Khazgur.

We get some thorough training in Blocking  (that's what we came here for) and then walk around and such. It's a very nice place to be, even though about half of the inhabitants are rather on the grumpy side.

The weather is still warm and sunny as we run southwards and notice a forn camp just in time to safely bypass it.

Near the Dwemer ruin Bthardamz, we see two groups of men fighting. They look both like forns. That's weird. Even weirder is that when we get closer, two men from the surviving group (who are indeed forns) swing their swords threateningly but don't attack us.

Don't tell me the Spriggan Soap works on forns as well!

We're not going to stick around and try to talk to them. Before they can change their minds about not attacking, we leave them behind, run through the empty courtyard of Bthardamz, say hello to the soldiers at the Reach Imperial Camp, admire a most beautiful little pond, almost as adorable as that favorite place of mine in southern Summerset

and then meet a group of Companions fighting a big bear. I speak a few words to Torvar who is quite friendly. And then we soon reach Markarth.

Lisbet's shop is open, so we step in to say hello. I was going to ask Fortune to tell me why most shops in the city have been closed all this time, but now I can just as well ask Lisbet.

Turns out the Silver-Bloods established (long before Jarl Igmund was ousted) some kind of a guild which everyone who wanted to trade in the city had to become a member of. The problem was that unlike the usual moderate membership fees, this "guild" demanded a major part of the traders' profits, leaving them just enough to get by. Most traders found it outrageous and decided to close down, hoping that the lack of trade would anger the citizens and then the jarl would have to do something about the Silver-Bloods. It didn't exactly work, but the traders were too indignant to back off, and they ended up having very tough times. The blacksmith Moth and the wizard Calcelmo evidently agreed to the terms and so did Fortune, or maybe he provided the Silver-Bloods with some other services. Lisbet says she wouldn't know, and it no longer matters anyway.

Does this means she does know something?

Only rumors, she insists, and she's so happy to be back in business, now that the Silver-Blood mafia has been exiled, and she really wants to let bygones be bygones.

Okay. What about the market traders?

The market should reopen in a couple of days, Lisbet says. They are hammering out the rules and fees and who gets which stall and such with the steward.

Great. I'm going to see Fortune now.

Fortune confirms Lisbet's story, except he says it wasn't that bad and he doesn't really understand what those other traders' problem was. I put that Dwemer artifact onto his table and tell him that if I ever find out he or his people are still in contact with the Silver-Blood mafia, they are going to have very much time for begging to be put to death. Fortune swears they are not having and won't ever have anything to do with the Silver-Bloods. He doesn't say they haven't in the past, but I leave it at that because it no longer matters.

Now that Fortune has his desired artifact, he agrees to hire Ut-Keen because, as he puts it, the youngster has proven himself lucky by having found such a capable benefactor as me.

I didn't do this for Ut-Keen's sake, but there's obviously no point telling them that. I join my girls who are chatting with Morilla, Seline and Kjorn. Walking past Uthor, I ask him how he's doing and he says he realized it was actually a good thing to let Elle go, and he gives me a Robes of the Invoker  as a present.

I go to the palace with my followers where we are enthusiastically greeted by the jarl's guards. Actually, I wanted to talk to Calcelmo and see if he has something interesting to sell. Or tell.

Calcelmo informs me that he has dug up some information on the Falmers alias Snow Elves. He gives me a bundle of notes with his translations from the old Falmer language which are not all that informative and his handwriting leaves much to be desired too. Something about Blackreach and a mysterious place called Xrib. Calcelmo has found hints that some ancient documents concerning the ancient Falmer civilization may be kept in the biggest temple of Skyrim in Solitud, and it would also be advisable to check the Winterhold College library.

I am ecstatic. Looks like finally my prayers are being answered. I have a good chance to make a breakthrough in my pursuit of understanding the Falmers.

Come to think of it, I have the feeling I have heard the name Xrib somewhere.

I thank Calcelmo, and his assistant Aicantar thanks me when I walk past him.

Excuse me?

Aicantar whispers that he's happy I'm taking the old man's mind off that Falmer thing. He's been talking about little else the last weeks and their regular work has started to suffer.

Okay. You're welcome.

I return to open air.

Now, the closest one among the destinations Calcelmo mentioned is Solitud, but we just came from the north and I don't want to go back there so soon. We'll head for Dushnikh Yal as I had planned and then travel to Bruma. That'll be after we've given our house in this city a closer look. As for Xrib, the girls remember something with that name was somewhere in or near the Sightless Pit. That'll be in northeastern Skyrim. Whether it's really the same place mentioned in Calcelmo's notes remains to be found out. Maybe we'll know more after we've visited Winterhold.

The rest of today, however, we're spending in Markarth, checking out the interiors of our house and then just walking around in the city.

Our house being so big, I begin to think why not bring Ma'isha and Sofie here. Ma'isha would then have company of her own age and Sofie could get away from the cold of Windhelm, and possibly places that remind her of her parents' death. Markarth has turned into a pretty safe location thanks to our efforts, and it's really beautiful. And maybe the children could find meaningful activity by helping out in Lisbet's shop?

I shall think about it.

next awakening






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