Always Lost, Always Hopeful (254) Revealing and Stimulating

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-30 06:26
Jerall View Inn, Bruma, Bruma County, Cyrodiil


I had a dream at night about what happened just after I had arrived in Skyrim from Hammerfell. As I told you a few days ago, I was caught by a group of Stormcloaks led by Ulfric. The Imperials' scout party led by Tullius had a mage with them. When they recognized Ulfric, the mage cast a special spell (maybe a kind of ward; I don't know really) to prevent Ulfric from using his deadly shout on them. When Ulfric unsuspectingly attempted just that, his shout knocked out everyone in our group instead. And the mage. But not the Imperial soldiers, because they were neither in the immediate vicinity of Ulfric nor magically connected to him through the spell. Tullius ordered them to bind Ulfric's mouth. He decided the capture of the enemy leader was important enough to take a break from their search for the Dragonborn. (He had no reason to suspect I was it, and the mage who might have was out cold.) So they requisitioned a couple of horsecarts from the village of Pinewood and Tullius rode ahead to Helgen to make preparations for the execution. That's where his regional headquarters was. Helgen was the best-fortified settlement far and wide, with the possible exception of Northkeep whose population's loyalty was questionable, though.

As concerns Lokir, he just happened to be in the area. He noticed how the Imperials left their horses at the roadside southwest of Pinewood and tried to steal one of them, but got caught.

Why was I the only one to get amnesia, you may ask. I don't know. Maybe the gods wanted to prevent the Imperial mage, after he would come to, from reading my mind and learning I was Dragonborn. But I'm only guessing.

That was the dream. In the real world I have a bath and breakfast (yes, preceded by the inevitable morning sex), after which the merry company of me, my followers, our boyfriends Dar'taqto, Ambric, Gryfard and Roland, and our friends Janieta, Ila, Rilja, Eddvia and Hulgard walks out the northern city gate.

The sugary mountain far beyond Rielle seems particularly beautiful to me this morning.

It fills me with joy that we're having such fine weather on our hike towards the Pale Pass.

We step briefly in to the Snowstone Rest inn to say goodbye, and do the same at the Fort Pale Pass. Then we all hug farewell and me and my girls cross the border. Everything is peaceful on the other side for a change. The Thalmor Checkpoint is securely in Imperial hands. The weather is still nice when we reach Fort Neugrad. The soldiers are kept very busy with drills and such, so we feel a little silly just idling around, which is why we move on soon towards the Falkreath Stormcloak Camp. A snowfall starts before we reach it.

Passing by Haemar's Shame on our way to The Rift, I think why not go in and kill the bandits while we're here. Turns out there are actually vampires in there. At the farther end is a hall with a large statue of a man and a dog. It's Clavicus Vile, as I already know from our trip to Summerset.

We go out again and proceed eastwards through the mountain pass. Our first destination on the eastern side of the mountains is The Naked Dragon Riften.

When I tell the doorkeeper who I am and that we want to search their establishment for any possible traces of Maven Black-Briar, he asks me to wait and calls the proprietress, a middle-aged woman. She insists they would never harbor any criminals, but realizes I won't be stopped.

This brothel is somewhat less stunning than the one in Markarth. It's very roomy. There's a hall with a large bar. A passage leads to another hall with many plants and girls and stuff. Um... let me rephrase that. Or, well, you get the idea. What's really important is that they openly sell skooma here. With a very authoritative air, I order a servant to summon the proprietress again. She seems to sense by the look on my face that this is serious. Indeed, it is. I inform her that skooma is now prohibited in Skyrim. Should any be found here on one of the subsequent inspections, the proprietress and any number of highest-ranking employees present will be executed and the brothel itself given to new proprietors, unless it turns out the ostensible offence was really somebody's malicious provocation. Right now, she will get away by handing me over all the skooma and in addition paying its 10-fold sales value as a fine.

She doesn't even look too angry. I guess she's smart enough to realize when she's trapped. Or the business is so profitable that this fine doesn't matter much. I don't care. I just take the money and I'll bring to to Yrsarald.

Then we take a tour of the rear part of the establishment. Of course, there aren't many customers this early.
[series of 5 pictures you can click through; click on the first picture to make it big, then press the right arrow to see the next picture etc.; press  Esc to return to the text]

Compared to the Markarth branch, the girls look somewhat less happy and eager here. But I might be mistaken. I'm really no expert on prostitute psychology.

Back in the open air, in the midst of birches and birdsong, I decide we shall not make a detour via Riften. We'll travel straight to the north-northeast towards Mixwater Mill and Windhelm. More precisely, we're going to Ivarsted first.

I have promised in the past I'll make time to talk about Fastred's relationship prospects and such with her and Lynly. (She has decided to stick with this name, because her real name Svidi would remind her too much of her former life she wants to leave behind.) This is what we're going to do now. Wilhelm kindly allows Lynly to take the evening off and we walk around on this and the other side of the river.

That's the house of Temba who owns the sawmill you can see in the next picture.

Now, I am ready to take Fastred to Riften or Hviterun any moment, but the other girls argue that her parents need her. They would probably be able to take care of the farm without her for some years to come, but obviously not forever. I remain unshakable. It's their own fault they haven't made more children, and it's the normal, expectable course of things that a girl leaves home and moves away with her husband. No needs of her parents can justify Fastred's remaining without children forever. However, the others (most importantly Fastred herself) disagree with me. Only Jordis seems ambivalent.

Now, what prospects may she have in Ivarsted? Lynly thinks Klimmek is in love with Fastred. It's the guy who brings supplies to the Gaybores every week or so. He has a most curious amulet that keeps the trolls from attacking him. But that's neither here nor there. The important thing is he seems awfully old to me. I refrain from saying so, in case Fastred should fancy her. But the main problem is that he seems too shy to actually approach Fastred and chat her up. And that's something we can't do on his behalf.

So we fail to come to any conclusion.

To our left is the ruined shack where the unfortunate madman Narfi lives.
We're not dropping in to say hello. The sight of six young women might be too much for him.

At 9 o'clock Fastred has to return home. Lydia asks me where in Skyrim I was actually headed when I came from Hammerfell eight months ago.
"Winterhold," I reply. "Somebody there was supposed to tell me what to do. Don't ask me who."
"Maybe Tolfdir."
"Maybe. But I lost my memory and then I got caught up in all those Hviterun affairs and then the Gaybores summoned me..." I realize Lynly is still there.
She stares at me with her eyes wide open. "Did you just call them Gaybores?" And then she bursts into howling laughter that might well be audible all the way to Sunguard City. She ends up literally rolling on the ground, holding her stomach. Several guards come running and we have all our hands full assuring them Lynly is fine, she's just laughing at something I told her about something that happened to me in Hviterun.
Finally, Lynly composes herself and we help her up and dry her tears. When she has come to her senses, or almost, I implore her not to tell anyone. She says not to worry, she knows how horribly serious the Nords are about the Ga... Greybeards. And now we're all in stitches. The guards just walk past shaking their heads and probably reflecting you can't expect sensible behavior from a group of females.

Having regained our composure, we stroll to the inn. What a delightful weather we are having!

"Laura, what will you give me if I tell you a good pretext for visiting all the other brothels in Skyrim?" asks Jordis when we're undressing in our room to go to sleep.
"Um... I can order Gregor to lick you down there."
"Come on..."
I know. It's not the same when the man doesn't really want to do it. "How about I promise I'll come back to Skyrim for your birthday?" That'll be a little less than 7 months from now.
"I'd love that."
"Well, what's the pretext?"
"Can't you really guess?"
I shrug.
"To search for skooma," she says.
Wow. Of course. Why didn't I think of it myself?



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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (253) Premarital Bliss

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-29 06:16
Jerall View Inn, Bruma, Bruma County, Cyrodiil

After a bath and breakfast, I go to the palace. I want to talk to Count Desilus. He owes me one.

Well, the count is still sleeping. I ask the servants about Afanna and the viscount, and am told they are away from the city for a couple of days.

That's unfortunate, but I don't want to put off getting rid of Razzada any longer.

I go out and give the beggar Serulius some money for showing me the place where Razzada sleeps. I wake him up and demand to know what is his deal with Afanna. He acts surprised and insists he has only seen Afanna from afar a few times and isn't most certainly associating with her.

On my way back to the palace, I step in to the Synod building to find out of Cadius is already up and if he has gotten over the tragic news about her sister.
He has. I ask him to do me a return favor and let Galarynn join the Synod. She's a Breton and I'm a Breton and I can feel she's all right. I don't know about her magical abilities, but I'm sure she's a honest and diligent person.
Cadius is not too convinced about the Bretons' ability to assess each other's characters, but he agrees to give Galarynn a chance. I thank him and leave with my mood greatly improved.

The count has woken up by now as well.

I ask to talk to him in private.
I tell him we really ought to expel Razzada from the city. I tell him about the harmful products he sold to Ila and Stantus. "But I suppose you'll have to consult with your brother first," I add.
Just as I had hoped, Desilus replies indignantly that he doesn't have to consult anyone in a matter such as this. Razzada is a shameless fraudster and can't be tolerated in this city. He is certain Marcius can not be involved in a disgraceful affair such as this. Afanna, sure. She has been causing some embarrassment in the past, but Viscount Marcius will keep her in reins from now on.
I ask the count not to be too harsh on her, but he says this matter is out of his hands. Afanna having entered into an intimate relationship with Marcius, it'll be now his sole judgment how harsh Afanna needs to be with. I grin and thank the count for his time. Back in the throne room, Desilus tells the steward to let a couple of city guards accompany me and I take my leave.

We go to Razzada whom I inform that all his wares apart from food and non-alcoholic drink are confiscated and he is ordered to leave the city and never return. I slap him when he tries to protest. Then we escort him to the nearest city gate.

This has taken less time I had thought it would. I round up my followers now and we head for the Serpent's Trail to kill the smugglers the count wanted to get rid of.

Somehow the dungeon doesn't look as grim as the previous times. We discover some very roomy caverns

and kill quite a few bandits.

I'm astonished to find out that they're all women. Correction: one is male. I wish he had chosen to pimp them instead. Some of them were quite beautiful. I wouldn't have even come here, had I known I'd end up slaughtering a bunch of pretty chicks.

After this, I'm not even too keen to return to Bruma for our reward, but I don't want to leave without talking to Eddvia. Besides, I don't fancy looking for the exit to Skyrim in this crazy maze, but we believe to remember the way back to the Bruma main road. Oh, and I almost forgot that I wanted to pay a visit to Simund's Manor southeast from here to see if Atul is all right – as I have promised I would do from time to time. So let's find the exit to the Bruma highway!

It's insanely difficult. Even the Clairvoyance  spell is useless. It was the right decision to not start looking for the exit to Skyrim.

Finally we're back in the open air.

The guards at the Gautierre Mansion tell us Simund is with Atul right now. I decide to believe it and not disturb them. We return to the city.

First I visit the palace to get my reward from the steward. The girls choose to tag along, but when we leave the palace, they go to their boyfriends, and I head for the blacksmith's shop. I catch Eddvia alone this time and we have a long talk.

I learn that, firstly, Imperial City is in the state of agitation with everybody anticipating a new Great War. Eddvia's official fiancé has written that some people are panicking and some are angry at the government for (supposedly) not taking decisive action aginst the arch-enemy, the Aldmeri Dominion. He is eager to be done with the wedding as quickly as possible, but his family is somewhat hesitant as to how the proper ceremonies can be conducted at a time like this and if it would be even appropriate.

Secondly, Eddvia has noticed her father has gotten softer – not exactly having second thoughts about her wedding, but still kind of lost his edge. Eddvia is greatly puzzled. It looks to her like he's suddenly realized he's gotten old and so it's no longer proper for him to be headstrong and ambitious. Maybe he feels guilty seeing how unhappy Banus is, Eddvia suggests. Or maybe he has lost his ability to perform with his wife (Eddvia expresses it more vaguely and delicately) and therefore no longer feels like a man whom his family members have to obey? At any rate, Eddvia's mother is clearly sensing it and has become sympathetic to her daughter's pleas, especially because she fears that if Banus lost his sister too in such a short time, he might get the feeling that everybody is abandoning him and develop lifelong psychological problems. (There is, however, no way to bring this argument up with Albecius who would dismiss such "girlish nonsense" out of hand.)

Thirdly, it's clear to Eddvia that her betrothed is eager to take possession of her body and couldn't care less about ceremonies. She, in turn, decided to thicken the plot by making bold to tell Hulgard about her feelings. He was, to cut the long story short, surprised, but pleasantly so, and very much responsive. He had never dared to hope a woman as beautiful and elegant, as well as a dozen years younger, could possibly like someone like him. (Not very smart of him to admit his insecurity, of course, but Eddvia doesn't mind.) Together they confronted her family. Banus thinks Hulgard is one of the greatest men in the world, for what it's worth with Albecius and Ruccia in the habit of not considering their daughter much more than a household item. But, as mentioned, Ruccia is visibly softening, what with the threat of war in the south, and Albecius has become uncharacteristically tame.

All in all, Eddvia's prospects are looking very good. She is seriously contemplating the possibility of forcing the issue by letting Hulgard have her cherry. (Of course a girl from a family as traditional as hers would keep her virginity for her husband.) She agrees with me that it's wiser to get to know him more intimately first, as well as keep him dangling a little, but she seems determined to do it the moment she's being forced to travel to her rich and noble fiancé. Even if her parents should chase her out and disown her, Hulgard can take care of her and she is actually certain they wouldn't.

With these happy news I return to the inn and spend the rest of the evening with my boyfriend Dar'taqto.

Quite frankly, I'm getting kind of fed up with him. I can't explain why. No matter, I'll be leaving Bruma tomorrow anyway.

When we have withdrawn to my room, I tell him (after sex, because he refuses to talk before sex; funny, the men, aren't they?) that I have arranged for Cedus to drop charges against him and Quatrius to forgive him his past crimes, but in the future there will be no mercy.
"This time it's serious," I tell him. "If you go on stealing, I will help you no more and I won't be your girlfriend."
Dar'taqto assures me he's been honest for quite some time now and is not going to steal anymore, but he's very sleepy, so I can't tell if he really means it. I hope he does, and if not, he has only himself to blame. I can't be his nanny.



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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (252) Enough of Secrecy

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-28 12:08
Jerall View Inn, Bruma, Bruma County, Cyrodiil


Dar'taqto and I have nice gentle sex and then I tell him how I adore Khajiits and how much I enjoy lying on the bed in the embrace of a delighful furry guy like him. That gets him so moved I succeed in making him promise he'll do it only in my vagina from now on.

We bathe unhurriedly and I put on my beautiful blue Cyrodiilian dress and basically idle the day away. Well, not entirely. I find Janieta and she tells me Quatrius is ready to forgive Dar'taqto his past offenses, as long as Cedus takes back his accusation and I promise Dar'taqto will go straight. This is absolutely the last time Quatrius will even discuss anything like that.

Janieta has also heard that, with the army spread too thin at the moment, the count is offering a substantial reward for the destruction of a group of bothersome smugglers residing in Serpent's Trail. The nobles will probably need a few days to hire mercenaries, so my group might be able to get there first.

I thank Janieta and go and do some work at the smithy. I have an ulterior motive for going there – to ask Eddvia about her and Hulgard, but I can't because Hulgard is there, and I won't even be able to question her in the evening because they have other plans. When my followers drop in, I try to gab with them so that Hulgard would get annoyed and leave, but he tells us to do our chatting somewhere else. Eddvia who understood perfectly what we were up to is very amused, and so, must I say, are we. There's nothing we can do, so we leave. I go to the Synod and continue to work. I'm sure I'll catch Eddvia alone tomorrow or sometime.

Walking back to our inn when it's already getting dark, I see Galarynn on the street, the Breton mage aspiring to become a member of the Synod, remember? I ask her if she knows if someone important is protecting Razzada.
Afanna, she says.
I had been praying it wouldn't be Afanna, but it was not to happen. Galarynn doesn't know what their deal is. It can't be business, because pretty much everyone in the city knows by now that Razzada is a fraudster. It's only gullible travelers who buy his wares, so the turnover can't be all that big. Neither can there be a love relationship or Afanna wouldn't let him sleep on the street. Besides, she used to be hot for Simund and more recently Viscount Marcius, Galarynn says. She thinks Razzada provides some kind of services to Afanna that have nothing to do with his visible activities. But she can't guess what it may be.
This is very intriguing, but I think I'll chase Razzada out of the city all the same.
It turns out Galarynn didn't pour her heart out to me just like that. (I had sensed as much. It was kind of a Breton thing, I guess.) She has heard about me and my girls' achievements that have put us in good books with the Synod. She therefore takes the opportunity to ask me if I could put in a good word with Cadius for her.
Why, it'll be my pleasure.

Now I return to the inn. The girls and I spend the evening separately, each with her boyfriend. Jordis whose period started before we reached Bruma is very happy we stayed this long.

I withdraw with Dar'taqto into my inn room quite early. We make love and talk and such.

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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (251) From Hunter to Prey

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-27 04:47
Underpall Keep South Wing, Underpall Cave, Bruma County, Cyrodiil

We continue clearing this dim, rather disgusting dungeon until we encounter a woman Alavva who sticks out by not attacking us. We talk a little and I learn that she is Cadius's sister. They were both magically talented and struggled to find a proper teacher. Cadius decided to go through all the slow and boring official training to join the Synod. Alavva chose a different path and ended up reviving her own dead father. Then she feels she's talked enough and now it's time to kill me and my followers. She awakens several zombies, but we still win.

We exit the dungeon without delay. It's a nice weather outside. We have plenty of time to travel east and visit Anga as planned.

The path from here to the main east-west road is lined with skulls on spikes every 10 or 20 meters. On the main road, we run past a troll and then a Khajiit skooma-seller whom I decide not to kill because this isn't Skyrim. Already approaching Greenwood, we hear a woman cry out for help.

It's a medical herb gatherer attacked by three highway robbers. We kill the bandits and then discover a very beautiful shrine to Akatosh in the vicinity.

Having reached Greenwood, we sit and chat a little with the people and then proceed to Anga on the eastern bank of the river. It's as elegant and majestic and mysterious as ever. I feel exhilarated walking among those massive and yet so airy structures.

This time, there are no mages or ghosts or such. Just a few rats.

Out in the sunshine and greenery, we enjoy the river for some time.

Then we head for Bruma. We encounter a traveler and find a house with a dead man and several mudcrabs in the cellar (the mudcrabs have eaten parts of his body, so it's not a pretty sight), and as the sun gets lower, we rise higher and by the time we've reached Bruma Eastern Watchtower, it's almost dark and a snowfall has started.

Ereia greets us joyfully. I take her aside and ask her if she has any idea how to put pressure on the shop-owner Cedus so that he would take back his false accusation against Dar'taqto.
Ereia says she can certainly take care of this small matter.
"Just like that? Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. Consider it done."
"Ereia, I'm very grateful."
"Oh, don't mention it. But there is something you ought to do in turn."
"What's that?"
"Have a serious word with your boyfriend."
I assure her I will. Then I remember something else.
"Are female guards especially fond of Dar'taqto?"
"Not as far as I know. What makes you think so?"
"Crouches-In-Crevices told me."
Ereia seems to have difficulties remembering him. "Is it that slimy Argonian?"
"He's not very tall and not very talkative, hangs around at The Restful Watchman a lot. I don't know how slimy he is."
"Yes, that's the one. Um, I guess he wanted to make you feel bad. Or he thought it was funny to suggest it. I assure you, Laura, the women around here are not as fond of Khajiit men as you are."
I'm taken aback by the last remark. Have my followers been blabbing? Or, well, my being Dar'taqto's girlfriend is not exactly a secret. Ereia could have heard it anywhere.
"Why is Crouches-In-Crevices always so grumpy?" I ask.
"I've no idea. I don't follow the lives of the city thieves much."
Fine. I thank Ereia and proceed to the city. I leave my girls at the inn and head for the Synod headquarters. I'm baffled to see Hulgard and Eddvia walk along the street almost holding hands.

Curiosity is killing me, but I'm reluctant to disturb their evident bliss, so I settle for a smile and a nod.

I make conversation with several mages, trying cautiously to find out anything about Razzada. Then Cadius walks in and I give him the sad news about the leader of the Underpall Cave necromancers having been his sister. Rather than ask him about Razzada right now, I decide to let him have some privacy to process the news. I walk to the palace where I wear my beautiful blue Cyrodiilian dress.

Most countriers seem to tave already retired to their living quarters and such. The luxurious dining hall is empty, but the maid Urma offers she can bring me a bite to eat.

I take her up on her offer, not that I'm so hungry, but I hope to hear something interesting. All I do learn is that she is very close to the servant Farsvar, a balding man with a mustache. Oh, and the thalmors have been expelled. They are only maintaining an embassy in Imperial City. This is good and bad – the priest of Saint Martin is no longer going to be harassed, but my arch-enemy Armion will be out of my reach.

I walk around some more.

This is the palace kitchen.

A really stunning discovery awaits me around 11 in the evening when I happen to notice the viscount Marcius and my ex-friend Afanna going into her bedroom – and they are  holding hands, and not only that. Well, I'm glad she has found the strength to move on.

I return unhurriedly to my inn. I hope Dar'taqto doesn't want me again so soon. Or, yeah, I don't have anything particular against it, but I'm not too eager either. I have so much to think about.

Not seeing my boyfriend in the taproom, I sit with Lydia and Ambric for a while. I mean, if they want privacy, they can always go downstairs, can't they?

When it's almost 1 in the night, I decide I'll turn in.

The moment I have stepped into my room, something grabs me from behind. Should I shriek, I wonder as I'm carried across the room and thrown face down onto the bed.
"I'll take it off!" I plead as fingers fumble with my dress. "Please don't tear it! I love this dress, it's so beautiful."
The hands hesitate. I look back over my shoulder as well as I can, and say: "I'm sorry I recognized you."
Khajiit hands feel very different from human ones.
"But it could have been another Khajiit," says Dar'taqto, letting me turn onto my back.
I move my nose like sniffing. He laughs.
I don't mean to suggest he stinks. Not at all. Most of you probably could touch Dar'taqto's (or most other Khajiits') chest or arm with your nose and not smell anything at all. But I've had a lot of practice and I've always been very sensitive to scents to begin with.

While I get up and strip naked for him, Dar'taqto is literally devouring me with his eyes. You have no idea how arousing it is. Or maybe you have.
I take a step closer to the bed. Dar'taqto looks meaningfully at my butt. I shrug and get on all fours. I can understand he feels he has to do it at least once, to be able to feel that his conquest of me is complete or something like that. Men are so strange in some aspects, be they human or Khajiit.
When I sense him get up on his knees and approach my behind, I even feel naughty enough to bend myself like a stretching cat. But soon he makes me far from amused.

It hurts a lot more than with a human penis. And it lasts incredibly long.

Afterwards we lie there in embrace and he is smart enough to keep his mouth shut and let me cry. In fact, by the time I've composed myself, he has already fallen asleep. I take a health potion, cover us with a blanket and follow his example.



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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (250) Revitalizing Revisits

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-04-26 06:19
Jerall View Inn, Bruma, Bruma County, Cyrodiil


I'm having a wonderful dream: Dar'taqto is lying on top of me and... doing what men do on top of women.

The dream ends abruptly. No!! I don't want to wake up!

Nothing doing. The dream is over. I open my eyes. Wait, I'm still seeing Dar'taqto's face... and feeling his thrusts. The dream is not over. I look left and right. Yes, it is. I must be awake.

"Is this real?" I ask Dar'taqto.
"I'm not yet quite sure myself," he replies.
With a jubilant shout, I hug his hips with my legs and grab the fur behind his neck.

"I didn't realize I had missed you so badly," he tells me afterwards.
"All of me or just my pussy?" I ask.
"Why, your pussy and your sharp tongue, naturally," he replies. With him lying on top of me, we rub our faces against each other like crazy until I say: "May I breathe now, please?"
Dar'taqto raises his upper body up onto his elbows.
"I'm sorry," I say, stroking all his body parts I can reach, "I didn't mean what I said." He smiles and says no problem. I'm so happy he's here!

I ask him if he wants to have a bath with me. He says: "No, but I can come and watch you." I shrug and try to keep a straight face and the next moment we both burst out laughing.

We have the bathroom all to ourselves. My followers are probably long awake by now. (Either that, or sleeping in big time.)
I bring the conversation to the Khajiit men's sexual preferences. It would stand to reason that they find Khajiit women more attractive than us. I mean, the gods have given us the desire to have sex so that we would have progeny, and since Khajiits and humans can't have children with each other, it wouldn't make much sense for them to even get aroused at each other.
After asking if I'm sure I want to hear this and me replying I believe I can handle it, Dar'taqto tells me Khajiit men generally don't fancy human women, but when you live in a foreign country, you take what you can get. More precisely, they do find human women attractive all right, but they still fancy their own kind more because it's not only the looks that arouse them in women. "There is something about a receptive Khajiit woman that is like a smell, except that you can't really smell it, but somehow you breathe it in and you become just obsessed with desire," he explains. "Our wisemen call it "pheromones". It's like an unsmellable scent that somehow affects you. Like, you want to drink water even though it has no taste."
I ask more questions and end up learning that a Khajiit man can have sex with a Khajiit woman something like ten times in a row, and so can Dar'taqto, except that he'll feel completely squeezed dry of all energy afterwards, and that's why he actually prefers to live among humans with whom he can just enjoy himself without such an awful strain. Sometimes, less arousing can be better.  ;-)
"Do your women have multiple children like the cats?" I ask.
"Yes, they do. They are really small when they're born."
"And can they be of different fathers?"
"Absolutely. Maybe that's the reason why we don't have the humans' obsession with having only one spouse and not having sex with anyone else."
I've dried myself up now and try on various clothes and ask Dar'taqto how they look on me, but he gets bored quickly. I choose a green outfit warm enough for Bruma's weather and we go out.

We walk together along the lower main street

and hug goodbye in front of the blacksmith's shop. I go in to say hello to Eddvia and, of course, see what they have on sale. Then I walk to Razzada's spot that is nearby. I have been planning on driving him out of the city, but now that I talk to him, I begin to doubt if it's right. He would just set up shop somewhere else. But his products are actually harmful. He's not like Grelka of Riften who is merely irresponsible and has a bad character. Razzada must be killed. A mere expulsion won't do. But I'd better try to find out who is protecting him first. The question is: who would know and tell me?

Stantus has told me in the past he has no idea. I don't think I can ask Afanna – for all I know, she could well be Razzada's benefactor herself. Maybe Ila? I can certainly trust her, but she doesn't necessarily know anything about what's going on in the palace. Would I dare go directly to the count? He has offered to help me with anything. Or should I ask Atul to try and lure some information out of Simund?

My thoughts are getting too wild. I guess I'd better go take care of that Underpall Cave business. Traveling will do me good and I will have time to think, and when I will have done Cadius a service, he might agree to tell me something. Under the Synod's protection Razzada is clearly not:

The College of Whispers is the other mages' guild, the Synod's rivals.

I pay a visit to Cedus's shop and try to talk sense to him, but it's in vain. There's no way he would consider letting Dar'taqto off the hook.

While I'm headed for the northwestern city gate with my girls, Janieta sees us and we chat some, and I ask him if she can possibly persuade Quatrius to drop charges against Dar'taqto as a favor to me. I mean, I don't know what the power relations are between the Bruma City Guard and the Imperial Army, but...
Janieta promises she'll do what she can.

After exiting the city by the northwestern gate. I can't avoid the blind man Balius drawing me into a lengthy and pointless conversation, but then again, his life is unimaginably hard, so I shouldn't hold it against him if he wants a little company. And at least I can be sure he's interested in me and not my looks.  ;-)

By the way, Rilja the Ancient Nordic weapons vendor has a house in this suburb. It's small but cozy:

Tedral, a Dark Elf refugee is not so well-off – or tidy. This is his house:

The even less fortunate have to live in tents – although they seem to know how to have a good time regardless:

Speaking of Tedral, after the girls and I have walked around a little and are returning to Balius's house to proceed towards Applewatch, we witness a rather nasty conflict between him and Balius. Tedral hates Nords because it was the Nords who forced him out of Skyrim, and now he is taking it out on Balius because he (Tedral) is too much a coward to confront any Nord who would be an even match to him. I tell Tedral as much, but that's all I can do, because I can't remain here and protect Balius permanently. Not that I would. Blindness doesn't mean one can't be a completely uninsteresting person. Although I'm glad he's getting along wonderfully with the boy Leo, the newspaper vendor. I've been told they met among a party of war refugees and now they share a house and make a great team – Leo has eyes and Balius has life experience.

I know. Time to stop talking.

On our way to Applewatch, we are attacked by yet another headless vampire. We admire the orchards outside Applewatch and talk a few words to a quite pretty woman Pelena. Then we head southwest and descend the very high mountains. I had actually hoped to find a normal path down (which we could have used later to walk back up), but we couldn't. So I think we'll return to Bruma via Greenwood and maybe pay a visit to Anga. I centainly want to go to one of the Ayleid ruins one more time.

Down the mountains, we have to fight a gang of nasty mages.

What's so funny, bitch?
(Yes, I know, it's really a mask.)

Then we enter the nearby Underpall Cave once again and explore the parts we gave a miss the last time. Nothing interesting happens to tell you about, just chaotic skirmishes with mages and disgusting zombies who sometimes seem to be climbing out of every crevice.

We also see heaps of dead bodies, apparently used by those mages for necromantic practices.

It takes quite long, so when we discover a dormitory and kill its inhabitants around half past 9 in the evening, I decide we'll spend the night here.

"I remember how the priests came," I say when I'm already lying on my sleeping mat next to Lydia's.
"Huh? Where?"
"No, relax. I mean back home, in Camlorn. Before I came to Skyrim. I remembered just now."
Jenassa has gotten up from her mat and sits down next to ours. So does Jordis who has the first watch.
"I have that scene clearly before my eyes," I continue absent-mindedly. "I also remember I crossed from Hammerfell to Skyrim through Elinhir Pass. It's the same place where they wouldn't let us go to Hammerfell. You weren't there, Jordis, we were with Borgakh then."
"So you know with certainty you arrived through Hammerfell?" asks Lydia.
"Yes, I do. I was traveling towards Pinewood, I think, and I saw a group of Imperial soldiers before they saw me. I ran back, and then I turned into the forest and a group of Stormcloaks saw me. That's why they tought I was trying to cross the border from Skyrim to Hammerfell by sneaking past the official border post. I was appalled and scared. I had succeeded in avoiding all the traps and ambushes in Hammerfell, but in Skyrim I was caught in no time."
"So what happened? You didn't try to fight?"
"Get real. I couldn't have fought anything stronger than a stray dog back then."
"You did fight in Helgen."
"Not really. It was Hadvar who saved my neck. Several times."
"Never mind Helgen," interrupts Jordis impatiently. "What happened on the Pinewood road? Or forest, I mean."
"The Stormcloaks didn't do anything to me. Just asked where I had come from and if I had seen anyone. I was struggling to make up something plausible to tell them. And then the Imperials attacked us. I lost consciousness and woke up in the horsecart with amnesia. You know the rest."

I also have to recount the scene with the priests at my home in Camlorn, but thanks to not remembering really anything about my trip through Hammerfell, I get to go to sleep soon.



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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (249) Soaked before Freezing

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-04-25 07:26
Keepers' Inn, Northkeep, Falkreath, Skyrim


It's a fine sunny morning. We walk around a little, but the shops evidently don't open until 9 and I won't wait that long. We run to the Half-Moon Mill (see next picture), say hello to Hert and have a wash in the river.

Halfway to Falkert, a pouring rain begins. We put on speed and are delighted to finally reach the inn. Shasien, my boyfriend of sorts, is there.

I'm not interested in sex right now, but he is very insistent, so I think what the heck. I don't fancy traveling with such horrible weather anyway.

My friend Valga the proprietress signals me from the other end of the taproom that we can use one of the rooms. Yeah, I'd rather go someplace more private, but considering the weather... At least there are almost no customers.

We do it in doggy style and it's very good, actually. I'm glad I let myself be persuaded. And Valga doesn't even charge Shasien for the room.  ;-)

The weather hasn't gotten better. Well, maybe the rain has eased a little, but a thunderstorm has started. We leave for Helgen all the same, the girls and I. Can't hang around here forever.

We run quickly past that bandit place between Falkert and Helgen – so quickly in fact that not only do the bandits miss us, even their horrible trap about which I had completely forgotten reacts too slowly and the avalanche of big stones reaches the road when we are already safely away. But then I remember I'm under the orders to kill all bandits encountered, so we turn back and shoot the ambushing criminals dead. Only two, as it turns out.

On our way to Helgen, we end up fighting another bandit gang:

I wish we could avoid Helgen, but unfortunately the mountains to our south are unpassable, so we have to run right through the destroyed village. This means another round of bandit-slaying. Then we climb into a citadel and I show the girls the place where the dragon broke down a part of the wall and I jumped, with my hands tied, onto the second floor of a house with a partially destroyed roof:

As you can see, it's still raining.

Outside the eastern gate of Helgen are three roads that go towards Riverwood, Ivarsted and Fort Neugrad, respectively. We proceed along the last one. It goes uphill and the rain is soon replaced by a heavy snowfall. Just short of Fort Neugrad (on the left in the next picture), we turn right towards the border crossing.

The snowfall lessens by the time we reach the abandoned Thalmor Checkpoint. At the Pale Pass border post, however, there's a skirmish between the Imperial soldiers and the thalmors. It's quite chaotic and hectic. We have to do a lot of running around, but finally all the thalmors are killed.

What's going on here, I ask one of the soldiers. Is it always like this? He informs me that they are attacked by groups of thalmors occasionally. But what have they lost here, I wonder. I understand they are being expelled from Skyrim and not too gently, but why are they trying to break through to Cyrodiil instead of going to Hammerfell to join the main Aldmeri forces? The soldier shrugs and suggests maybe there are different warring factions within the Dominion. Yeah, that would be good news. Well, whatever. Is it at least peaceful in Bruma County? Yes, he says, as far as he knows. Fine, we shall proceed then.

We go through the gate, run past the Fort Pale Pass and step briefly into the Snowstone Rest inn to say hello to Erlus, Arnoth and Scruffy. There's heavy snowfall outside again and just about enough light to see the road.

We're attacked twice by bandits and see a nice fox. A brief stop at the Eastern Watchtower, and a couple of minutes past 9 in the evening we walk in through the southeastern gate of Bruma.

Just like the first time we came here, we take the first street left, only this time we walk past The Restful Watchman without entering. We pass through the empty marketplace, past the big temple and up the stairs to the Jerall View Inn. (Could have gone straight ahead from the gate, I know. Just being nostalgic.)

The taproom is full of merry people. I can't find Dar'taqto, though. I walk up to the proprietor Stantus. Before I can open my mouth, he says: "No, I don't know where he is. Welcome back all the same."

I laugh in spite of myself. Lydia and Ambric are already hugging and kissing. Jordis and Jenassa have sat down next to a couple of men. "Can I do anything for you?" asks my friend the adventurer Stenar. "No, thank you," I reply, smiling coyly.

I go out to take a walk. Along the near-empty streets, I stroll past the Synod building and decide to step in. I ask Cadius how's it going and such, and he ends up telling me that they're having a bit of a problem with necromancers in the Underpall Cave southwest from here. You may remember, it's the one that had a graveyard in a cavern. We explored a part of it, but of course Cadius doesn't need to know that. I promise him I'll go and have a look one of these days. Then I take another street back to my inn, chatting a little with a female guard along the way and asking among other things if she has seen my friend Janieta (the Imperial soldier we rescued from the mage bandits). The guard says she has seen her occasionally and she can tell her I'm back in the city if she sees her. I reply that I'd appreciate it. Then I walk slowly back towards the inn. Somehow the air feels especially fresh on the street and I'm reluctant to go indoors. I walk to the Jucani house and back, and then I enter the inn after all. There is no sign of Dar'taqto and the girls seem to... how should I put it... have a good enough time without missing my company, so I just go to sleep.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (222) Ancient Nords and Old Imperials

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-03-29 10:18
Snowstone Rest, Bruma County, Cyrodiil


There are two reasons why I decide to go to Bruma one more time and postpone our return to Skyrim until tomorrow:
1. The Ancient Nord weapons seller Rilja has asked me to bring her Ancient Nord weapons, and we looted many of them yesterday.
2. We have gathered so much loot that I'd like to do another round of crafting. I know, I should get into the habit of leaving less valuable items behind, but I kind of enjoy smithing and enchanting.

Scruffy runs along with us a little way. Then I caress and scratch him affectionately and tell him to return to his new home. He runs off, then makes a sudden leap into the bushes, scaring a flock of birds into flight, and then trots happily towards the Snowstone Rest.

On our way to Bruma, we are once again attacked by a mage bandit. There are no soldiers patrolling this time. In the city, I give my Ancient Nord weapons to Rilja and she rewards me handsomely. Apparently this stuff fetches a much higher price here than I'm used to getting in Skyrim where ancient Nord ruins are everywhere, as are reckless Nord men eager to venture into dangerous places.

I exchange a few words with the old woman Felki Silver-Plow. When we say goodbye and I turn around to leave the marketplace, I see none other than that pompous jerk Albecius Jucani. I am baffled beyond words when he scorns me for giving their dog away.

I am livid with indignation. You scumbag, how dare you refer to Scruffy as "our dog"?
"I used to think you hated the dog and were happy to be rid of him," I tell him, "but now I realize you enjoyed torturing it, and you are cross with me because you will have to find someone else on whom to satisfy your perverse desires."

Albecius tries to say something, but I shout to him to shut the fuck up. "You are a pathetic little poser who likes to pretend he is someone important, oblivious of the fact that he's a laughingstock. You are a monster who tortures the dog your son adores, and you would ruin the life of your own daughter just in order to try to gain entry into societal circles where you don't belong, where you would only be spurned, where you and your family members would always feel out of place."

Again he tries to say something and I hiss "Silence, rat!" The look on my face must be really scary, because he actually takes a step backwards. "You know that your outrageous behavior was the reason why I had to give Scruffy away and make your son profoundly unhappy. My heart bleeds for the poor Banus, but I could impossibly condemn Scruffy to remain a victim of a heartless beast like you. I didn't tell Banus it's because of you, but he is bound to know. Which means that from now on you will have to do all you can to win back his respect and avoid your son hating you forever."

I take a deep breath, somewhat calmed down by now. "That's what I wanted to tell you. And now pay close attention, jerk. If you ever say anything disrespectful to me again, I swear to all the gods I will sneak into your house at night and cut out your tongue, no matter what the consequences. I'm about to leave for Skyrim anyway and I don't care if I won't be able to return to Bruma ever. This country means nothing to me, but I won't allow myself to be insulted by a sadistic old man who has failed in his life and is taking it out on a defenseless dog."

Before the dog-torturer has a chance to say anything (or drop dead from shock), I turn around and walk away quickly.

It's about noon. I meet Dar'taqto near the inn and ask him if he'd like to join me in the bath. He says he doesn't (I've gotten the impression the Khajiits don't like to bathe very often; strangely enough they don't stink regardless), but he hopes to see me in the evening. Sure, I'd love to, but I'd rather take it between my legs this time. He laughs and tells me not to worry. We rub our noses together and I go to the inn to have a good wash.

Passing by the marketplace, I see Crouches-In-Crevices chat with the Bosmer alchemist Ananril who has a stand here. I wait until he leaves and follow him.
When we are past Botram's house and there are no people around us, he suddenly turns around. "What do you want from me?"
"Can I have a word?"
He shrugs.
"Do you know why Cedus has been pushing theft charges against Dar'taqto and Adius was siding with Cedus even though there was no evidence?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"I got Cerendil off your neck, didn't I?"
Crouches-In-Crevices eyes my breasts and I wait patiently.
Maybe he realizes I won't leave him alone and I won't do anything for the information. At any rate, he says: "I'm not sorry to break this to you – your sweetheart is really a thief. He has stolen from Cedus in the past but never gotten caught. This time Cedus just used the opportunity. He is fed up with him. So was Adius, because somehow Dar'taqto has always evaded prison. It was largely thanks to the female guards who adore him. He has a way with women."
I swallow the retort "Unlike you?" and just wait for him to continue.
"Adius's death doesn't change a thing," he continues. "Quatrius is just as eager to get rid of the menace. There's nothing you can do. That cat has made many enemies here."
But I have made many friends. And I can get Dar'taqto to change his ways.
I have one more question to Crouches-In-Crevices: "And what's your reason for hating him?"
"None of your fucking business." He turns around and walks away. I leave it at that.
What he told me makes sense. Adius wasn't stupid. He was pragmatic. (But what he did to me was still beyond any bounds of decency.)
At least I know now what's been going on. I wonder if this is why Quatrius wanted to buy me a drink.

I spend the afternoon working on our gear. This'll be our last night in Cyrodiil for the time being. Although maybe we ought to spend one more day here walking around wearing beautiful clothes?

Nah, we'll go to Skyrim. I'm fed up with Cyrodiil. We'll find another place where we can look beautiful.

After reequipping my followers, I return to the blacksmith's shop to have a final chat with Eddvia. On my way there, I hear an obscene insult shouted behind me. Turning around, I can (just as I had expected) see Banus running away. Eddvia, in turn, is grateful to me I gave Scruffy away, thereby sparing the poor dog a lot of pain.

I sit with her until the shop closes. We walk back home together. As you may remember, she lives in the house next to the Jerall View Inn.

When I return to the taproom, Dar'taqto is already there. I sit next to him and ask how's it going and such, and when he impatiently points towards the stairs with his head, I pretend I don't understand what he wants, and then I laugh and we walk down to my room.

It was the right decision to come back to Bruma for one more night. The position chosen by Dar'taqto is somewhat taxing, but his strong arms hold me safely and after some time I'm able to relax and let myself go. And he has (of course) enough patience and self-control to let me enjoy it to the fullest.

Afterwards, we lie there and cuddle. At one time, Dar'taqto looks like intending to leave, but I hold his arm with both hands and he stays. We lie there and talk and such, for hours as it seems. Dar'taqto gets hard again, but he seems in no hurry to do anything. Finally he makes me lie face down. He fancies my butthole, now that we're about to part ways for... yeah, possibly forever.

I tell him I'm not going to resist or scream for help or anything, but I'm begging him not to do it – firstly because it hurts like hell, secondly because it's just disgusting, and thirdly because it's hugely disappointing to know that the dick that is ravaging me back there could give me immense pleasure in the right hole instead. I don't want to leave Bruma with this kind of a memory of him.

Visibly displeased, Dar'taqto puts it in my pussy. But he teases me by stopping his movements when he feels I'm approaching climax, and forces me to use increasingly obscener words begging him to continue. I don't mind. It's very exciting, even though by the fifth or sixth time I feel like beating him with my fists, which I can't do because I'm lying face down. Eventually he lets me have my orgasm and comes shortly afterwards. Then we go to sleep. I have no doubt Lydia will manage somehow.



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