Always Lost, Always Hopeful (251) From Hunter to Prey

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-27 04:47
Underpall Keep South Wing, Underpall Cave, Bruma County, Cyrodiil

We continue clearing this dim, rather disgusting dungeon until we encounter a woman Alavva who sticks out by not attacking us. We talk a little and I learn that she is Cadius's sister. They were both magically talented and struggled to find a proper teacher. Cadius decided to go through all the slow and boring official training to join the Synod. Alavva chose a different path and ended up reviving her own dead father. Then she feels she's talked enough and now it's time to kill me and my followers. She awakens several zombies, but we still win.

We exit the dungeon without delay. It's a nice weather outside. We have plenty of time to travel east and visit Anga as planned.

The path from here to the main east-west road is lined with skulls on spikes every 10 or 20 meters. On the main road, we run past a troll and then a Khajiit skooma-seller whom I decide not to kill because this isn't Skyrim. Already approaching Greenwood, we hear a woman cry out for help.

It's a medical herb gatherer attacked by three highway robbers. We kill the bandits and then discover a very beautiful shrine to Akatosh in the vicinity.

Having reached Greenwood, we sit and chat a little with the people and then proceed to Anga on the eastern bank of the river. It's as elegant and majestic and mysterious as ever. I feel exhilarated walking among those massive and yet so airy structures.

This time, there are no mages or ghosts or such. Just a few rats.

Out in the sunshine and greenery, we enjoy the river for some time.

Then we head for Bruma. We encounter a traveler and find a house with a dead man and several mudcrabs in the cellar (the mudcrabs have eaten parts of his body, so it's not a pretty sight), and as the sun gets lower, we rise higher and by the time we've reached Bruma Eastern Watchtower, it's almost dark and a snowfall has started.

Ereia greets us joyfully. I take her aside and ask her if she has any idea how to put pressure on the shop-owner Cedus so that he would take back his false accusation against Dar'taqto.
Ereia says she can certainly take care of this small matter.
"Just like that? Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. Consider it done."
"Ereia, I'm very grateful."
"Oh, don't mention it. But there is something you ought to do in turn."
"What's that?"
"Have a serious word with your boyfriend."
I assure her I will. Then I remember something else.
"Are female guards especially fond of Dar'taqto?"
"Not as far as I know. What makes you think so?"
"Crouches-In-Crevices told me."
Ereia seems to have difficulties remembering him. "Is it that slimy Argonian?"
"He's not very tall and not very talkative, hangs around at The Restful Watchman a lot. I don't know how slimy he is."
"Yes, that's the one. Um, I guess he wanted to make you feel bad. Or he thought it was funny to suggest it. I assure you, Laura, the women around here are not as fond of Khajiit men as you are."
I'm taken aback by the last remark. Have my followers been blabbing? Or, well, my being Dar'taqto's girlfriend is not exactly a secret. Ereia could have heard it anywhere.
"Why is Crouches-In-Crevices always so grumpy?" I ask.
"I've no idea. I don't follow the lives of the city thieves much."
Fine. I thank Ereia and proceed to the city. I leave my girls at the inn and head for the Synod headquarters. I'm baffled to see Hulgard and Eddvia walk along the street almost holding hands.

Curiosity is killing me, but I'm reluctant to disturb their evident bliss, so I settle for a smile and a nod.

I make conversation with several mages, trying cautiously to find out anything about Razzada. Then Cadius walks in and I give him the sad news about the leader of the Underpall Cave necromancers having been his sister. Rather than ask him about Razzada right now, I decide to let him have some privacy to process the news. I walk to the palace where I wear my beautiful blue Cyrodiilian dress.

Most countriers seem to tave already retired to their living quarters and such. The luxurious dining hall is empty, but the maid Urma offers she can bring me a bite to eat.

I take her up on her offer, not that I'm so hungry, but I hope to hear something interesting. All I do learn is that she is very close to the servant Farsvar, a balding man with a mustache. Oh, and the thalmors have been expelled. They are only maintaining an embassy in Imperial City. This is good and bad – the priest of Saint Martin is no longer going to be harassed, but my arch-enemy Armion will be out of my reach.

I walk around some more.

This is the palace kitchen.

A really stunning discovery awaits me around 11 in the evening when I happen to notice the viscount Marcius and my ex-friend Afanna going into her bedroom – and they are  holding hands, and not only that. Well, I'm glad she has found the strength to move on.

I return unhurriedly to my inn. I hope Dar'taqto doesn't want me again so soon. Or, yeah, I don't have anything particular against it, but I'm not too eager either. I have so much to think about.

Not seeing my boyfriend in the taproom, I sit with Lydia and Ambric for a while. I mean, if they want privacy, they can always go downstairs, can't they?

When it's almost 1 in the night, I decide I'll turn in.

The moment I have stepped into my room, something grabs me from behind. Should I shriek, I wonder as I'm carried across the room and thrown face down onto the bed.
"I'll take it off!" I plead as fingers fumble with my dress. "Please don't tear it! I love this dress, it's so beautiful."
The hands hesitate. I look back over my shoulder as well as I can, and say: "I'm sorry I recognized you."
Khajiit hands feel very different from human ones.
"But it could have been another Khajiit," says Dar'taqto, letting me turn onto my back.
I move my nose like sniffing. He laughs.
I don't mean to suggest he stinks. Not at all. Most of you probably could touch Dar'taqto's (or most other Khajiits') chest or arm with your nose and not smell anything at all. But I've had a lot of practice and I've always been very sensitive to scents to begin with.

While I get up and strip naked for him, Dar'taqto is literally devouring me with his eyes. You have no idea how arousing it is. Or maybe you have.
I take a step closer to the bed. Dar'taqto looks meaningfully at my butt. I shrug and get on all fours. I can understand he feels he has to do it at least once, to be able to feel that his conquest of me is complete or something like that. Men are so strange in some aspects, be they human or Khajiit.
When I sense him get up on his knees and approach my behind, I even feel naughty enough to bend myself like a stretching cat. But soon he makes me far from amused.

It hurts a lot more than with a human penis. And it lasts incredibly long.

Afterwards we lie there in embrace and he is smart enough to keep his mouth shut and let me cry. In fact, by the time I've composed myself, he has already fallen asleep. I take a health potion, cover us with a blanket and follow his example.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (250) Revitalizing Revisits

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-04-26 06:19
Jerall View Inn, Bruma, Bruma County, Cyrodiil


I'm having a wonderful dream: Dar'taqto is lying on top of me and... doing what men do on top of women.

The dream ends abruptly. No!! I don't want to wake up!

Nothing doing. The dream is over. I open my eyes. Wait, I'm still seeing Dar'taqto's face... and feeling his thrusts. The dream is not over. I look left and right. Yes, it is. I must be awake.

"Is this real?" I ask Dar'taqto.
"I'm not yet quite sure myself," he replies.
With a jubilant shout, I hug his hips with my legs and grab the fur behind his neck.

"I didn't realize I had missed you so badly," he tells me afterwards.
"All of me or just my pussy?" I ask.
"Why, your pussy and your sharp tongue, naturally," he replies. With him lying on top of me, we rub our faces against each other like crazy until I say: "May I breathe now, please?"
Dar'taqto raises his upper body up onto his elbows.
"I'm sorry," I say, stroking all his body parts I can reach, "I didn't mean what I said." He smiles and says no problem. I'm so happy he's here!

I ask him if he wants to have a bath with me. He says: "No, but I can come and watch you." I shrug and try to keep a straight face and the next moment we both burst out laughing.

We have the bathroom all to ourselves. My followers are probably long awake by now. (Either that, or sleeping in big time.)
I bring the conversation to the Khajiit men's sexual preferences. It would stand to reason that they find Khajiit women more attractive than us. I mean, the gods have given us the desire to have sex so that we would have progeny, and since Khajiits and humans can't have children with each other, it wouldn't make much sense for them to even get aroused at each other.
After asking if I'm sure I want to hear this and me replying I believe I can handle it, Dar'taqto tells me Khajiit men generally don't fancy human women, but when you live in a foreign country, you take what you can get. More precisely, they do find human women attractive all right, but they still fancy their own kind more because it's not only the looks that arouse them in women. "There is something about a receptive Khajiit woman that is like a smell, except that you can't really smell it, but somehow you breathe it in and you become just obsessed with desire," he explains. "Our wisemen call it "pheromones". It's like an unsmellable scent that somehow affects you. Like, you want to drink water even though it has no taste."
I ask more questions and end up learning that a Khajiit man can have sex with a Khajiit woman something like ten times in a row, and so can Dar'taqto, except that he'll feel completely squeezed dry of all energy afterwards, and that's why he actually prefers to live among humans with whom he can just enjoy himself without such an awful strain. Sometimes, less arousing can be better.  ;-)
"Do your women have multiple children like the cats?" I ask.
"Yes, they do. They are really small when they're born."
"And can they be of different fathers?"
"Absolutely. Maybe that's the reason why we don't have the humans' obsession with having only one spouse and not having sex with anyone else."
I've dried myself up now and try on various clothes and ask Dar'taqto how they look on me, but he gets bored quickly. I choose a green outfit warm enough for Bruma's weather and we go out.

We walk together along the lower main street

and hug goodbye in front of the blacksmith's shop. I go in to say hello to Eddvia and, of course, see what they have on sale. Then I walk to Razzada's spot that is nearby. I have been planning on driving him out of the city, but now that I talk to him, I begin to doubt if it's right. He would just set up shop somewhere else. But his products are actually harmful. He's not like Grelka of Riften who is merely irresponsible and has a bad character. Razzada must be killed. A mere expulsion won't do. But I'd better try to find out who is protecting him first. The question is: who would know and tell me?

Stantus has told me in the past he has no idea. I don't think I can ask Afanna – for all I know, she could well be Razzada's benefactor herself. Maybe Ila? I can certainly trust her, but she doesn't necessarily know anything about what's going on in the palace. Would I dare go directly to the count? He has offered to help me with anything. Or should I ask Atul to try and lure some information out of Simund?

My thoughts are getting too wild. I guess I'd better go take care of that Underpall Cave business. Traveling will do me good and I will have time to think, and when I will have done Cadius a service, he might agree to tell me something. Under the Synod's protection Razzada is clearly not:

The College of Whispers is the other mages' guild, the Synod's rivals.

I pay a visit to Cedus's shop and try to talk sense to him, but it's in vain. There's no way he would consider letting Dar'taqto off the hook.

While I'm headed for the northwestern city gate with my girls, Janieta sees us and we chat some, and I ask him if she can possibly persuade Quatrius to drop charges against Dar'taqto as a favor to me. I mean, I don't know what the power relations are between the Bruma City Guard and the Imperial Army, but...
Janieta promises she'll do what she can.

After exiting the city by the northwestern gate. I can't avoid the blind man Balius drawing me into a lengthy and pointless conversation, but then again, his life is unimaginably hard, so I shouldn't hold it against him if he wants a little company. And at least I can be sure he's interested in me and not my looks.  ;-)

By the way, Rilja the Ancient Nordic weapons vendor has a house in this suburb. It's small but cozy:

Tedral, a Dark Elf refugee is not so well-off – or tidy. This is his house:

The even less fortunate have to live in tents – although they seem to know how to have a good time regardless:

Speaking of Tedral, after the girls and I have walked around a little and are returning to Balius's house to proceed towards Applewatch, we witness a rather nasty conflict between him and Balius. Tedral hates Nords because it was the Nords who forced him out of Skyrim, and now he is taking it out on Balius because he (Tedral) is too much a coward to confront any Nord who would be an even match to him. I tell Tedral as much, but that's all I can do, because I can't remain here and protect Balius permanently. Not that I would. Blindness doesn't mean one can't be a completely uninsteresting person. Although I'm glad he's getting along wonderfully with the boy Leo, the newspaper vendor. I've been told they met among a party of war refugees and now they share a house and make a great team – Leo has eyes and Balius has life experience.

I know. Time to stop talking.

On our way to Applewatch, we are attacked by yet another headless vampire. We admire the orchards outside Applewatch and talk a few words to a quite pretty woman Pelena. Then we head southwest and descend the very high mountains. I had actually hoped to find a normal path down (which we could have used later to walk back up), but we couldn't. So I think we'll return to Bruma via Greenwood and maybe pay a visit to Anga. I centainly want to go to one of the Ayleid ruins one more time.

Down the mountains, we have to fight a gang of nasty mages.

What's so funny, bitch?
(Yes, I know, it's really a mask.)

Then we enter the nearby Underpall Cave once again and explore the parts we gave a miss the last time. Nothing interesting happens to tell you about, just chaotic skirmishes with mages and disgusting zombies who sometimes seem to be climbing out of every crevice.

We also see heaps of dead bodies, apparently used by those mages for necromantic practices.

It takes quite long, so when we discover a dormitory and kill its inhabitants around half past 9 in the evening, I decide we'll spend the night here.

"I remember how the priests came," I say when I'm already lying on my sleeping mat next to Lydia's.
"Huh? Where?"
"No, relax. I mean back home, in Camlorn. Before I came to Skyrim. I remembered just now."
Jenassa has gotten up from her mat and sits down next to ours. So does Jordis who has the first watch.
"I have that scene clearly before my eyes," I continue absent-mindedly. "I also remember I crossed from Hammerfell to Skyrim through Elinhir Pass. It's the same place where they wouldn't let us go to Hammerfell. You weren't there, Jordis, we were with Borgakh then."
"So you know with certainty you arrived through Hammerfell?" asks Lydia.
"Yes, I do. I was traveling towards Pinewood, I think, and I saw a group of Imperial soldiers before they saw me. I ran back, and then I turned into the forest and a group of Stormcloaks saw me. That's why they tought I was trying to cross the border from Skyrim to Hammerfell by sneaking past the official border post. I was appalled and scared. I had succeeded in avoiding all the traps and ambushes in Hammerfell, but in Skyrim I was caught in no time."
"So what happened? You didn't try to fight?"
"Get real. I couldn't have fought anything stronger than a stray dog back then."
"You did fight in Helgen."
"Not really. It was Hadvar who saved my neck. Several times."
"Never mind Helgen," interrupts Jordis impatiently. "What happened on the Pinewood road? Or forest, I mean."
"The Stormcloaks didn't do anything to me. Just asked where I had come from and if I had seen anyone. I was struggling to make up something plausible to tell them. And then the Imperials attacked us. I lost consciousness and woke up in the horsecart with amnesia. You know the rest."

I also have to recount the scene with the priests at my home in Camlorn, but thanks to not remembering really anything about my trip through Hammerfell, I get to go to sleep soon.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (249) Soaked before Freezing

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-04-25 07:26
Keepers' Inn, Northkeep, Falkreath, Skyrim


It's a fine sunny morning. We walk around a little, but the shops evidently don't open until 9 and I won't wait that long. We run to the Half-Moon Mill (see next picture), say hello to Hert and have a wash in the river.

Halfway to Falkert, a pouring rain begins. We put on speed and are delighted to finally reach the inn. Shasien, my boyfriend of sorts, is there.

I'm not interested in sex right now, but he is very insistent, so I think what the heck. I don't fancy traveling with such horrible weather anyway.

My friend Valga the proprietress signals me from the other end of the taproom that we can use one of the rooms. Yeah, I'd rather go someplace more private, but considering the weather... At least there are almost no customers.

We do it in doggy style and it's very good, actually. I'm glad I let myself be persuaded. And Valga doesn't even charge Shasien for the room.  ;-)

The weather hasn't gotten better. Well, maybe the rain has eased a little, but a thunderstorm has started. We leave for Helgen all the same, the girls and I. Can't hang around here forever.

We run quickly past that bandit place between Falkert and Helgen – so quickly in fact that not only do the bandits miss us, even their horrible trap about which I had completely forgotten reacts too slowly and the avalanche of big stones reaches the road when we are already safely away. But then I remember I'm under the orders to kill all bandits encountered, so we turn back and shoot the ambushing criminals dead. Only two, as it turns out.

On our way to Helgen, we end up fighting another bandit gang:

I wish we could avoid Helgen, but unfortunately the mountains to our south are unpassable, so we have to run right through the destroyed village. This means another round of bandit-slaying. Then we climb into a citadel and I show the girls the place where the dragon broke down a part of the wall and I jumped, with my hands tied, onto the second floor of a house with a partially destroyed roof:

As you can see, it's still raining.

Outside the eastern gate of Helgen are three roads that go towards Riverwood, Ivarsted and Fort Neugrad, respectively. We proceed along the last one. It goes uphill and the rain is soon replaced by a heavy snowfall. Just short of Fort Neugrad (on the left in the next picture), we turn right towards the border crossing.

The snowfall lessens by the time we reach the abandoned Thalmor Checkpoint. At the Pale Pass border post, however, there's a skirmish between the Imperial soldiers and the thalmors. It's quite chaotic and hectic. We have to do a lot of running around, but finally all the thalmors are killed.

What's going on here, I ask one of the soldiers. Is it always like this? He informs me that they are attacked by groups of thalmors occasionally. But what have they lost here, I wonder. I understand they are being expelled from Skyrim and not too gently, but why are they trying to break through to Cyrodiil instead of going to Hammerfell to join the main Aldmeri forces? The soldier shrugs and suggests maybe there are different warring factions within the Dominion. Yeah, that would be good news. Well, whatever. Is it at least peaceful in Bruma County? Yes, he says, as far as he knows. Fine, we shall proceed then.

We go through the gate, run past the Fort Pale Pass and step briefly into the Snowstone Rest inn to say hello to Erlus, Arnoth and Scruffy. There's heavy snowfall outside again and just about enough light to see the road.

We're attacked twice by bandits and see a nice fox. A brief stop at the Eastern Watchtower, and a couple of minutes past 9 in the evening we walk in through the southeastern gate of Bruma.

Just like the first time we came here, we take the first street left, only this time we walk past The Restful Watchman without entering. We pass through the empty marketplace, past the big temple and up the stairs to the Jerall View Inn. (Could have gone straight ahead from the gate, I know. Just being nostalgic.)

The taproom is full of merry people. I can't find Dar'taqto, though. I walk up to the proprietor Stantus. Before I can open my mouth, he says: "No, I don't know where he is. Welcome back all the same."

I laugh in spite of myself. Lydia and Ambric are already hugging and kissing. Jordis and Jenassa have sat down next to a couple of men. "Can I do anything for you?" asks my friend the adventurer Stenar. "No, thank you," I reply, smiling coyly.

I go out to take a walk. Along the near-empty streets, I stroll past the Synod building and decide to step in. I ask Cadius how's it going and such, and he ends up telling me that they're having a bit of a problem with necromancers in the Underpall Cave southwest from here. You may remember, it's the one that had a graveyard in a cavern. We explored a part of it, but of course Cadius doesn't need to know that. I promise him I'll go and have a look one of these days. Then I take another street back to my inn, chatting a little with a female guard along the way and asking among other things if she has seen my friend Janieta (the Imperial soldier we rescued from the mage bandits). The guard says she has seen her occasionally and she can tell her I'm back in the city if she sees her. I reply that I'd appreciate it. Then I walk slowly back towards the inn. Somehow the air feels especially fresh on the street and I'm reluctant to go indoors. I walk to the Jucani house and back, and then I enter the inn after all. There is no sign of Dar'taqto and the girls seem to... how should I put it... have a good enough time without missing my company, so I just go to sleep.



next awakening






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