Always Lost, Always Hopeful (186) Maybe Too Serious

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-02-21 07:26
Alva's House, Morthal, Hjaalmarch, Skyrim

After this first proper sleep in two nights, a wash in the beautiful Morthal Bathhouse is all we need to make the world perfect for ourselves. I think I told you that even though this bathhouse doubles as a (small but classy) brothel, you can absolutely use it for bathing. They have a steam room and everything, and the hostess Aija is most welcoming and decorous.

The clear winter morning seems like a warm summer day in our current joyful mood. We walk around a little. I buy some ingots from the blacksmith and learn from the alchemist Lami that she misses reading a certain alchemy manual her past teacher used to have. It's called "Song of the Alchemists". I promise to get her a copy, should I come across one. (I suppose I'd better ask my friend Seline, the bookseller in Morpork.)

I find a moment to ask Lydia privately about her wrestling with Jordis last night. Was she really stronger (which I find hard to believe) or did Jordis let her win?
"I think she let me win. She is a little like that."
Yes, I kind of guessed as much.

Now it's time for us to break up for Labyrinthian.

This time, there are neither trolls nor bandits between here and Hviterun. We see, however, a mammoth when we run past a camp of giants.

The weather is nice and Hviterun looks incedibly beautiful next to the foggy mountains in the distance.

I realize I should really do a round of crafting while we're in the city. The world will not go under if we spend one more night, but having our armor and weapons improved by a hundredpoint or two can save our lives in Hammerfell, especially now that we're going to have a less experienced team member in Jenassa's place.

Having entered through the main gate, we walk to the marketplace where I tell Lucia I have to go to the palace right now, but later she can watch me do my smithing and enchanting.

My dear Ysolda is also there.

I tell her I'd like to discuss some business with her if she'd care to come to my house a little after 9 in the evening. Then I walk up the stairs with Lydia and Jordis, say hello to the priest Heimskr and proceed to Dragonsreach where we find a private place to have a serious talk with Valdimar. I've been extremely unsure if I ought to talk to him alone or with the girls. We've come to the conclusion to do it together, the three of us (without Jenassa).

I tell Valdimar that we need him as a temporary replacement for Jenassa. I explain him we'll be going to Hammerfell to (very likely) participate in a war that can be very terrible. Or not. We may be spending months there or we may be back in a couple of days. In short, we know absolutely nothing about the situation. The only thing that's more or less certain is that we are going to be able to return whenever we want to.
The point is, we're going to need him both as a fighter and a man. A man for all three of us. Admittedly, we may end up coming back in a week and looking very silly. Yet, we have to make things clear before we go.
The thing we need to make clear is that it's only on the battlefield that I give orders. In the bedroom, he has to be the one to tell us what to do. Women can't stand a partner who expects them to make decisions. In order for it to be clear who is the boss at one or another moment, I will be the one who says if we're in war mode  or home mode . When I say we're in home mode, the three of us become a quasi-harem for Valdimar. Should he neglect one of us or do it in the wrong holes all the time, we'll be disappointed. But it'll be his decisions all the same. We may beg him, we may compete for his attention, and we may even try to say no, but he will always be the one to decide whom he fucks and where.
Lydia cuts in: "This doesn't mean you'll have to fuck each one of us every day or anything like that. You fuck when you feel like it and you choose your partner."
"From among us," says Jordis.
"Yes. That's the only restriction."
"Um," I interrupt, "in fact, there's one more thing. Occasionally, one or two of us may decide to have sex with someone else, and then you'll have to make do with the remaining two or one, and you won't complain or look offended. Some of us have boyfriends somewhere, you know, or we may find someone we really fancy – which, I admit, will be unlikely in Hammerfell, but you never know. At any rate, there mustn't be any jealousy nonsense. Other than that, we'll be yours to use the way you please. All we demand is that you know what you want all the time, tell us clearly what you want from us, and make us do it. That has to be."
Valdimar doesn't show any emotions at this point. I continue: "I understand it is highly unusual for women to tell men such things, but we don't have the time for hinting subtly and letting you figure things out. Therefore, I want you to spend the next... a little less than 7 hours alone and think about what I just told you. At 9 o'clock in the evening, I want an honest answer from you if you can do it or not. This double role – unconditional obedience in war mode, master of three women in home mode. Now, do you have any questions?"
Valdimar shakes his head. "No. I'll give you your answer at 21:00 today." He's sensible enough to realize this is not the chatting time and he's never been a man of many words to start with. That's exactly the kind of guy I'd like to have with me on this mission.

Now I go and sit with the three Ingmansdotter sisters who have apparently been informed of my arrival by the women's messaging network, as it were, and are eagerly waiting for me at one of the long dining tables. I ask them what is their opinion of Valdimar and have they possibly slept with him. The vehemently deny it, insisting they have good boyfriends. But the word among women is that while Valdimar is way below the level of Mikael or even Erik as far as honeyed words are concerned, he would never turn down a woman who's had her scruples lowered by a drink or two at the inn. Speaking of Erik, he approaches me when I leave the girls to have a word or two with Farengar. Erik says he'd like to go on another adventure with us someday, but I rather doubt he means it, and even if he does, I couldn't risk getting him killed and leaving an unknown number of Hviterun women grieving for him – nor, mind you, deprive that joker Mikael of such a cool rival.

I then take a little stroll in the eastern suburb. The thing is, I kind of feel I ought to be with my new boyfriend Harek, but on the other hand I'd rather like to spend time talking to Lucia. I can't make up my mind, so I just walk casually all the way to Lerguk's smithy. If I should encounter Harek on the street, I'll let him grab the initiative.

Well, I don't run into Harek, but I'm glad to see the Orc blackmith Lerguk is back at work. He's been away the last couple times I've been in Hviterun. I was getting worried about him. Maybe Borgakh has been keeping him busy? [Grin.] Got to remember to ask her.

Having visited Cyrelas's magic shop, I walk back towards the eastern gate, taking in the sights and moods:

On my way to the marketplace, I run into my friend Amren whom I had the pleasure of helping on the very first days I came to this city. I ask him if he and his wife (Saffir, remember?) have overcome their differences. He says they're fine, more or less. As we talk, he walks with me to the marketplace where I ask Carlotta to let Lucia know when she turns up that I'll be at Adrianne's smithy for the next couple of hours.

This is an earlier picture of the other smithy called the Skyforge where the late Eorlund Gray-Mane used to work.

Lucia joins me shortly and I thoroughly enjoy explaining her what I'm doing, but I can see she's not the greatest enthusiast of people banging away at metal things with hammers. But then we walk up the palace at a pace much slower than usual, and she tells me lots of interesting things about what's been going on in the city.

This is the view from Adrianne's. The main city gate is to your left, just outside the frame. Ulfberth's shop is on the right.
Straight ahead is the western guard barracks. The steps barely visible on the right lead to The Drunken Huntsman inn.
My house is up the stairs that are well visible right of the barracks, through the arch and the first house to the right
(not the one that can be seen through the arch; I think that's the House of Clan Battle-Born).

Lucia is most fascinated by enchanting. Too bad I haven't much to enchant, just an archery-enhancing ring somewhat stronger than my previous one, and a fire bow (meaning, one that sets an arrow on fire when shot, so you can use ordinary arrows as fire arrows). Fire damage is not very important by itself, but fire emits light, therefore it can be helpful for having your targets burn when fighting in darkness – you'll see where to shoot your next arrows.

Lucia asks if it's really necessary that people keep killing other people. It's a question I ask myself a lot. I explain her that there are foreigners who want to rule over Skyrim and make all of us their servants. We'll have to shoot some of them dead until the rest decides to leave us alone. That's the only way to do it.

It's getting dark outside by now. I tell Lucia to walk home with one of the guards who is headed that way, and to ask Carlotta to come over too. Ysolda will be there and Mila may come as well if she wants to. We'll have something to discuss, and after that the two of us can sit in front of the fireplace and talk until midnight or maybe even longer.

After Lucia has left, I go to meet up with Valdimar, Lydia and Jordis.
His answer is yes, he believes he can switch between being a soldier and a man.
"I'm glad to hear it," I tell him. "Now, Valdimar, what I'm going to tell you next might be a little surprising..."
"You don't have to beat around the bush, Laura," he interrupts me. "I know you – more closely than most people, I daresay. I mean, I know what kind of a rational and straightforward person you are when you're sober. So you don't have to be afraid of shocking me or anything."
When I'm sober?? I can't believe he just said that! The girls don't even try to hide their chuckling. Of course they remember well what I let Valdimar do to me that time when I wasn't sober. Dammit, I'll make him pay for this! (Maybe.)
I gather up all my remaining dignity and continue: "I'm going to put you to the test."
"The test?"
"You'll spend the night with Lydia and Jordis."
"Um, maybe I should explain a little," says Lydia. "This is not "How many times can you do it?" This is "Can you act like a man?" We're not going to tell you what it is you're going to have to do in order to pass the test – for the simple reason that we don't know. We want to find out if you can make us feel like women. Whether or not you have it in you."
"Any questions?" I ask Valdimar.
"When we're in home mode, can I punish you when you're bad?"
"Yes, but I can end the home mode at any moment, and if we feel abused, I can choose to remain in the war mode permanently. In simple words, that would mean you'll lose us as women."
"Got it."
"And you mustn't embarrass us in public," adds Jordis.
I nod. "Oh yes. That's vitally important. A sore butt is a much lesser evil than a lewd remark in front of people."
Valdimar smirks. "I have no more questions."
But I remember one thing at the last moment: "I don't exactly enjoy being embarrassed in front of the girls either. The way you did a little while ago."
He looks at me with a noncommittal expression. "Am I supposed to say I'm sorry?"
I think for a second and then make a subtle grimace. "No, you'd better not. It's not sexy. But please don't do it again. My life is hard enough with Ly... Well, whatever." I realize too late there's no point reminding Lydia of her obscene remark in that Thuringen dungeon yesterday.
"I already said I was sorry!" said Lydia. She sounds really hurt.
"It's all right, Lydia. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm not angry with you, honestly, and you're still my best friend. But we're in the midst of something else right now."
"Yeah. Sorry for interrupting. Go on please."
I stand up. "I'll see you all at 8 in the morning in front of my house. With the exception of myself, home mode starts now. Good night."
I turn around and walk away.

I ask a guard on the street to send word to Jenassa to be in front of my house at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Then I walk home. About those business plans I'm going to make with Carlotta and Ysolda, I'll tell you tomorrow if you don't mind, because I'd rather dedicate all my attention to my stepdaughter on this last evening before I leave for war.



next awakening






return to the table of contents

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (173) Sneaking Around for Trifling Reasons

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-02-07 07:00
Sleeping Giant Inn, Riverwood, Whiterun, Skyrim


I cast a glance at Lucia and Lydia's beds. They're both still sleeping. I hurriedly get up and wake Lydia. I feel I have to tell her about my dream right away.

I saw my family. My mother and father are alive. They live in the city of Camlorn. It's somewhere in the western High Rock. My father works as a weapons trainer and he is also a valued consultant on low-scale stealthy military operations. My mother has been learning handicraft over the years and her works are widely admired, but it's more a hobby than a serious source of income – which they actually don't need because of my father's fortune which he has invested in businesses all over High Rock. My brother is married and lives in Shornhelm. That's a city in the northwest, but away from the ocean. He is basically the one to watch over the family's business interests. My sister is to be married soon to someone powerful, so we'll have aristocratic relatives. How happy she is about it, I don't know yet. Neither do I know any of their names.

Oh... but I do know for sure my mother is a Nord. However, me and my siblings were all brought up among Bretons as Bretons.

Lucia wakes up and is a bit offended that we have been whispering about something behind her back. I have to promise her I'll tell her everything later. To bring her mind onto something else, I ask her if she knows about Jordis and Erik. Just a shot in the dark. Well, I'm glad I asked. Lucia knows all about Erik. He seems to have slept with half of the single women in the city. Lucia doesn't understand why he would do that and she doesn't even care all that much, she just senses it's the kind of information women somehow find intriguing. Further, she knows that Erik and Mikael hate each other. Lydia and I are greatly amused. And we think we know now the reason why Erik wanted so badly to become a warrior. That was the only way to get his father allow him to leave Roriksted where his, um, choices were very limited. I can imagine Erik will be very happy to stay in Hviterun permanently and forget all about adventures apart from occasional guard duty.

Today we're returning to the city for Vera's birthday party.

Halfway to Hviterun, I spot thalmors ahead. They seem to be escorting a prisoner and therefore unlikely to attack us, but it's still safer to keep away. So I lead Lydia and Lucia off the road towards Pelagio's farm.

It begins to rain just as we arrive in the southwestern suburb. Lucia endures it bravely while I shop with the market traders. I'm so grateful we had such luck with the weather yesterday.

Soon we are in our home, sitting in front of our nice fireplace. Jordis and Jenassa are already waiting for us there. Obviously I have no tasks for them today, but they had thought they'd take a little break from people. (And, I guess, appreciated having a private place to discuss their relationships and such.) We the travelers get into dry clothes and then we just chill. I fulfill my promise and tell Lucia (as well as all the others) what I learned about my family tonight.

After lunch, I take some time for shopping. I notice I'm beginning to like the cynical Breton shopkeeper Belethor more with each time. I also drop by the temple to say hello to the priestess Danica. Without Lucia who got fed up with the rain, I take a stroll in the eastern suburb and step into one of the two barracks. There's only one man there and he's sleeping naked. I use the opportunity to look him over from every angle.

I feel I really want to have sex with him and I don't care if Farengar might be offended. I strip naked and wake him up.

Wow. He has barely gotten out of bed. I'm flattered.
And it rises higher still even as I watch.

He makes me very happy I did. When I introduce myself afterwards, he says he knows my name already, but his is Harek.

After almost three hours, I leave and stroll through the eastern suburb towards the magic shop of Cyrelas. It's such an awesome place. It's got a cool magical feel to it unlike any other magic shop I've seen. They have succeeded in laying out simple things in an aesthetical way one rarely sees in Skyrim.

That must be the special skill of Cyrelas's wife Sinya whose acquaintance I get to make today.

The rain has ceased. I decide to return to the city through the western gate, passing by the Honningbrew Meadery. Maybe there's someone there who knows anything about Bronwen.

I walk past the farms where people are still working. Of course, it stands to reason that Vera didn't invite the entire population of Hviterun to her party. As I reach the meadery, I find a strange-looking man there. He's wearing a hood, but he's very skinny and looks generally pathetic. I ask him if he knows anything about Juvenal and/or the girl who went missing from this city. He says I'm sticking my nose into something that is not my business. I'm not sure what makes me reply I'm making this my business and the opinion of a puny little rat like him is of no importance. He jumps up and attacks me. Dammit, he turns out an excellent fighter. I'm in real trouble here. Get your act together, Laura, you can't die because of nonsense like this! What would people think?

I take a health potion and then I succeed in killing the man after all. He has a letter on him with instructions to kill people who are too curious about Juvenal's affairs. As to the whereabouts of Bronwen, I'm none the wiser. It now occurs to me that I didn't see her father anywhere in the city either.

It's beginning to get dark.

I return to the city by the main gate, say hello to Adrianne and step into the shop. I always like it there. Ulfberth has such cool wares on display. I love to look at them, especially the weapons, even though I'm buying only some ingots this time.

Back on the street, I encounter Ysolda. She's cordial as always, but I'm having the feeling something is bothering her. We walk along the street that runs next to the city wall towards her home, and she eventually confesses that she's in love with Mikael. Now, that is quite appalling news, but I'm afraid there's little point for me to try and say anything – after all, Ysolda, a native of this city, knows Mikael's character and lifestyle even better than I do. Sooner or later, she'll snap out of it, and I hope she won't suffer too much in the process. So I limit myself to saying to Ysolda she knows what I think of Mikael, and she replies "Yes, I do. That's why I didn't want to tell you about it in the first place." Well, good luck. We hug in front of her house and I walk to the marketplace. Carlotta is still there. I ask her if she has slept with Erik. She smiles and says: no, he doesn't want someone that old. I'm about to say that Mikael doesn't seem to mind, but then think better of it. I decide to ask her about Mikael and Ysolda instead, but then Lucia and Mila come running and urge us to come to the party that's just begun. Yes, absolutely. Let's go.

The children refuse to run ahead because, as Lucia puts it, they have to make sure we don't disappear along the way. Fine.  :D

I'm not in a too festive mood, but I'm glad to observe my friends having a good time and everyone being amazed with our present, the pahmar statuette. Nevertheless, shortly after we've tossed Vera in the air, I catch a moment when no one is looking at me and escape.

Having given the guards a strict order not to tell anyone I've left the palace, I run down the stairs to the temple. I have remembered that the priestess Danica is a healer. Maybe she knows something about people who have lost their memory.

She doesn't, but she recommends I go and talk to the priest Rorlund at the Temple of the Divines in Solitud. They worship all the gods there, so if anybody can help me, he'll be the most likely one.

Well, that's better than nothing. Much better than nothing. I thank her and hurry back to the party. Mikki and Heidi have noticed I was away and ask teasingly if I got too drunk and had to go out and vomit. I say "no, of course not" with such an intonation as if I was lying. The last thing I want them to do is to start asking questions.

Looks like they're believing I'm lying. I look around. Fortunately, Lucia wasn't here to hear this. I go and find her, just to show myself to her and ask if she's enjoying herself. Then I leave the children to their games. Walking around in the palace, I wonder if I could just find a spare bed somewhere away from the noise and go to sleep. Yeah, good idea. But before that, I'll have to go and ask Vera in front of as many people as possible when she's going to get married – of course, choosing a moment when she has nothing at hand she could throw at me.

Well, suprise – Vera's reaction shows she may indeed be getting married soon. But I'm realizing now that all that will hardly interest you. So I'll spare you the rest of our female banter. Suffice to say I'm feeling increasingly better.

Eventually I notice Valdimar and Erik absorbed in a conversation and I go and join them. We talk about masculine things and I actually do get drunk – but only a little. Nothing like on the New Year's Eve, I assure you.

Still, I wouldn't mind sleeping somewhere in the palace, but when I notice Carlotta going home with Mila and Lucia, I join them. I want to be at home with my stepdaughter. I know it's important to her. I wasn't doing anything meaningful anyway, and if I go to sleep soon, I'll be able to have a good laugh at my dog-tired and hung-over followers in the morning.

Thank you! It feels good to be protected.  ;-)

next awakening






return to the table of contents

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (160) The Road More Traveled

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-01-25 05:38
Uthgerd's House, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


Lucia is still sleeping. I leave the house on tiptoes. There's time until the shops will open, so I talk to the guards and innkeepers asking them if they know anyone in the city who could be called an artist. I need it for that girl's ghost in that underworld realm Blackreach. They haven't heard anything of the kind. Neither am I having any luck in the temple and in the Hall of the Dead. Frankly, I wasn't expecting much to start with. I rather have the feeling the "artist" is no longer among the living and I ought to search for him in sewers and under bridges and such.

It's still raining cats and dogs. Looks like all the water I missed by not sailing away with that ship in Solitud is now being poured down on me from the sky. That doesn't keep Heimskr from his preaching. I keep him company for a while and let him tell me about his work, and then the shops open. Lucia accompanies me, braving the awful weather.

About noon, the rain ceases. My followers who slept elsewhere have joined me by now. We hear there's a dragon in the eastern suburb. I sternly order Lucia to run up to the palace and stay inside until the danger is over. Me and my followers hurry out the eastern city gate and help the guards kill the beast.

On my way back to the city proper, I run into Mikki and use the opportunity to ask her about the triple murder in Jorrvaskr. She says the Companions are keeping very quiet about it. Mikki hoped to find out something from the old cleaning lady, but she is clearly terrified of the topic. The others are even more tight-lipped, to the extent that Mikki herself became increasingly afraid of bringing the incident up. I suggest her to let it go. If the Companions want us to mind our own business, we will. The last thing I want is for Mikki to get murdered too.

This grim story has totally failed to ruin my mood. It's hard to put it into words how much I enjoy being in Hviterun. Frankly, my reaction to walking from place to place and talking to the people astonishes myself. I feel a connection to this city unlike to any other location in the world. I don't even miss Falskaar anymore. Or maybe I do just a little bit.

Most amazingly, I succeed in making up with my ex-boyfriend Yourg. He agrees to talk to me this time, and I apologize for having broken up with him. Actually I didn't do anything wrong, but apologizing costs nothing and I don't want him to feel bad. His anatomical shortcomings are not his fault. I'm not going to be with him ever again, but now we can at least look each other in the eye and say hello in a civil manner.

But enough of this. Paarthurnax is waiting for me and the Elder Scroll up on top of Mount Nexus. I leave some money with Carlotta. After all, we're practically one family. I mean, we don't sleep together, but she takes care of Lucia, and it's better when she handles the money. Lucia doesn't mind. She realizes it's safer that way.

Just as me and my followers are running south towards the crossing southeast of Hviterun, we see balls of fire flying from the eastern bank of White River in the general direction of the Honningbrew Meadery.

We hurriedly cross the river and find two mages in a fierce fight. Evidently this has nothing to do with the meadery, they are aiming their magic at each other and occasionally it flies somewhere else. They pay no attention to us as we crouch well hidden and observe them.

Our tactic is clear – wait until one mage has killed the other and then kill the survivor. But the combat lasts so long that I get impatient and when I get impatient I start having stupid ideas. I figure I can just as well make use of the time and sneak up the slope, so that by the time one of the mages is killed, I shall have the additional advantage of elevation.

That has the result that both mages notice me and decide to attack us instead of each other. With horrible-looking fire and ice things flying at me and past me, I have to fight them both at the same time. They're not too difficult for the four of us to defeat, but I should have just remained in my perfect shooting position behind that rock on the roadside and waited (or at least shot one of the mages in the back while they were not seeing us).

That's the fire mage:

That's the ice mage:

That's the city:

And that's the road to Riverwood:

Without wasting any more time, we cross that very bridge and head south.

Whenever the weather is good (as it is now), Riverwood is utterly adorable. We do some shopping and say hello to old friends. I wonder if Rudelphine is there. No, the secret room is empty. I guess she went with that old man to reestablish the Blades organization or something. Come to think of it, just because she and I found out some stuff about dragons doesn't mean the thalmors are no longer after her. Considering all that's happened, she can hardly expect to be safe in Riverwood any longer.

I, however, feel I really ought to take a break for a couple of weeks or at least days in this region. I mean, take some time off and enjoy hanging around in the city doing nothing. Be together with my stepdaughter. Maybe take her on a trip to Riverwood or even Blackmoor.

Whatever. It's getting late and we need to hurry. We must at least reach the Falkreath Stormcloak Camp before complete darkness. I know, I have that Circlet of Night Eye, but it only affects my eyesight, not that of my followers, so it's only for emergencies.

The weather is nice and everything on this route is so familiar that I barely pay attention to anything. Not only do we reach that stork camp, we even get through the mountain pass in pretty decent light, so we go and pay a visit to the Rift Imperial Camp as well.

We reach Ivarsted at half past 7 in the evening.

I'm pleasantly surprised to see that Marni's shop is still open. I also bring Temba, the owner of the sawmill, the bear pelts she wanted. She's incredibly haughty. Instead of being grateful, she treats me like a maid who has been good enough to be spared the daily beating today. I should kill Temba, but the village needs her.

After some walking around and gossiping, we retire for the night at the inn.

I can hear my followers falling asleep rather quickly. (As I've told you, Lydia and I sleep in separate beds at inns, to avoid being accidentally seen in an awkward situation.) My thoughts go onto our tomorrow's visit to High Hrothgar, then the soothing peacefulness in the Whiterun Hold and how we must do everything in our power to keep the war away from Skyrim's last stronghold of safety and sanity.

As my thoughts wander backwards along our yesterday's route, past Hviterun to Dragonbridge and Solitud, the ghastly sight of Montaigu's mutilated corpse emerges in my mind's eye, and those executioners with axes one can see walking around in Solitud from time to time. It reminds me of the bloody head of that Stormcloak soldier on the ground in front of me when I was kneeling at a chopping block in Helgen, from which my thoughts jump to the vile murder committed in Amber Creek by Svegard on Agnar's order a week ago. I just can't put it out of my mind. The prisoner said that he was afraid that if he'll tell Agnar where Jalma and Wilhard were taken to, Yngvarr will have him killed. Observe what Agnar replied:

Obviously, "I'll kill you if you don't," implies "I won't kill you if you do." Any sensible person would understand it like that. This means Jarl Agnar shamelessly broke his implied promise. Think about it: would the bandit have given Agnar any information on the hostages' whereabouts if he had known that as soon as he has done so, he'll be stabbed to death? Hardly, unless tortured to the point where he would have wished to die. He did not wish to die at that moment. He was ready to do anything to stay alive. But Jarl Agnar had a man who did him an enormous service killed without a second thought, casually as if smashing a mosquito. He is no better than Yngvarr.

Undeniably, Agnar has committed fewer crimes than Yngvarr, but that's because he is the king of Falskaar and thus can get his way simply by ordering people to do what he wants. Were he in Yngvarr's shoes and vice versa, things wouldn't necessarily be much different.

Wait. In fact, Yngvarr has so far only shown himself ruthless. He has not shown himself dishonorable. Not before my eyes, at any rate. I have only heard horrible things about him. My instinct tells me very strongly his word is to be trusted not a bit more than Agnar's, but I have no hard facts yet.

Stop, Laura, I tell myself. Enough of this crap. You need to get some sleep.

I force my thoughts back onto the sunny marketplace in Hviterun. I imagine how Lucia and Mila are running errands for Carlotta, how Anoriath and Fralia are praising their wares behind their adjacent stalls, how Jon is chatting up young women passing by. Then I imagine Corianna at her cookshop in Riverwood, her husband sitting on the pier, fishing, listening to the birdsong and watching the water in the river flow by... I begin to sink into sleep.



next awakening






return to the table of contents

Deflorator's game, 4–8 Heartfire (Hviterun–Elisdriel)

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SPOILER INFO
This unfinished story follows closely my actions in an actual game, so it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous chapter






The author has chosen to remove the text of this unfinished game report, because he is no longer happy with it.

How about between your buttocks?

next chapter

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (3) Overkill?

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
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previous day






4-201-08-19 09:26
The Bannered Mare, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


After I've had a bath and exchanged a few words with a few people at the inn, I set out for the Halted Stream Camp with my followers .

Heidi wonders if the name has anything to do with urination, and laughs loudly. It sounds a little forced. Maybe she's scared. Or has noticed I am.

Shortly before our destination, we see another fortress-like structure at some distance, but we keep away from it. I don't feel ready to fight anyone without a dire necessity just yet.

I spot the Halted Stream Camp early enough to sneak closer and take up an ideal sniping position on a nearby rock overlooking the whole camp. The only problem is that it's too far to see our potential targets properly. I have an inborn special power called Khajiit Sense of Smell , which is not really a sense of smell, but makes nearby creatures glow in my mind's eye in various colors, depending on if they're hostile on not. Usually Khajiits have it and humans don't, hence the name. That bandit camp below me is, unfortunately, too far for my Sense of Smell  power. There's only one thing I can do – sneak closer downhill. That has the result that the enemies notice me before I can target them.

See what I mean? Where the hell is everybody?

I notice two people running, apparently headed for the gate. Meaning, they're not archers, which means I should have a good chance of shooting a few arrows into them before they manage to climb all the way up to where I am.

There's only one thing I haven't counted with. Two things, to be more precise – Jenassa and Heidi. With stunning agility, they are down below before I can get a clean shot at the bandits. Now there's a furious dance going on outside the camp entrance with people moving back and forth so quickly that I have no chance of shooting at them without risking hitting my followers. I rush downhill where one or two more bandits have arrived in the meantime. We kill them all and I'd like to think I was able to make a contribution, but there is no denying that essentially my girls won this battle for me. Their reaction speed is just superhuman. (I call them "girls", although Jenassa is actually older than me. She's a tiny bit haughtyish, you know, so it's good to put her in her place a little bit.)

But our mission isn't completed yet. These fortifications are simply to guard a wooden gate at the foot of a nearby hill that looks like a mine entrance.

We go in and find another group of bandits.

Heidi is the one on the left, with red hair.
Jenassa is being hit with some kind of magic from down below.

After that ghastly mess outside the camp gate, I instructed the girls to wait until I engage the enemy rather than charge blindly at every hostile-looking creature they see. Still, the moment I shoot my first arrow, they rush past me, screaming childish threats at the enemies and blocking my view. That seems to be the Skyrim way of fighting.

This battle is harder, meaning I also get my chance to put arrows into bandits, but it's still my followers who do most of the work.

Here Jenassa is using a magical staff to set the bandit on fire.
Elves are rumored to be much more comfortable with all things magical than Nords.
Nords are the indigenous people of Skyrim. And my race, the Bretons, are the native people of, um... somewhere else than Skyrim.

It was only yesterday that I was worried about my inability to defeat even one opponent without having to run away and heal myself several times, and now I suddenly have so powerful helpers that even 3 or 4 bandits are no longer a big deal. Thinking logically, this was exactly what I needed, but somehow I don't feel too happy. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just generally downcast for... other reasons.

Jenassa sits down to rest while I and Heidi look thoroughly around in the cave and pick up everything even remotely valuable. Among other things, I notice several Mammoth Tusks lying around. When we're done looting the bandits' possessions, we are dismayed to learn Jenassa is hurt so badly by some kind of magic that she has no strength to stand up, let alone walk. We're in real trouble, because my Healing  spell cures only myself and I don't know any spells that would cure another person.

Heidi thinks we should just wait until she recovers. Do you realize what you're saying, girl? You'll be bored out of your tits in half an hour, and a few hours later I will, and gods help us then. Besides, we have no guarantee that Jenassa will actually heal, ever.

Finally, Bardslayer gives me a special power to get Jenassa back on her feet. I told you he has unusual abilities and can help me out when I'm in a really impossible situation. This is one of those moments.

Now let's get back to Hviterun. We should arrive early enough to sell our loot. I plan on spending the night in the city and going to Bleak Falls Barrow tomorrow.

Jenassa is rather quiet, but Heidi gabs incessantly. Among other things, she mentions someone I've (of course) never heard of and who has died recently, and then she explains to me that the Nords bury their dead by storing their mummified corpses on shelves in catacombs called Hall of the Dead  where a priest of Arkay watches over them. Every bigger settlement has one. Unfortunately, there's some kind of weird magic connected to death, so that the corpses have a tendency to wake up to life occasionally, especially when a Hall of the Dead is visited by someone who is not supposed to be there.

This is properly creepy. It's a good thing that at least the weather is nice:

In the city, we first hurry to the marketplace where I give that nice woman Ysolda a Mammoth Tusk. As a reward, she gives me some advice on improving my Speech  skill. What's more important, I've made a new friend. I really like Ysolda. I feel we might have a lot in common.

I happen to strike up a conversation with a market trader Carlotta and she happens to mention there's a man named Amren in this city who has a problem, and can she refer him to me? I ask cautiously if that's something she can't help him with. Carlotta laughs and says: no, it's nothing like that. He's got a valuable family heirloom stolen, his late father's sword. Is there some kind of a gang of sword thieves here? Carlotta asks what I mean and I reply: I mean, is it the same people who stole Pelin Varlais's sword? No, she insists it can't be. The latter is rumored to be connected to some kind of a political intrigue and involves extremely evil and dangerous people I mustn't get involved with. But I might be able to help Amren. I say: fine, he can find me and talk to me. I'll be around.

Heidi and Jenassa walk to the palace with me when I go to report to the steward Proventus about the destroyed bandits.

When we're about to leave, a man with brown skin and short dark hair enters and walks up to us. He nods to Jenassa and Heidi whom he evidently knows and introduces himself to me as Amren. He tells me about his father who was a brave warrior and had a sword which he used for many years. Amren cherished it greatly, but recently it got stolen. He made some inquiries and heard a couple of names which mean nothing to me, but Jenassa says it may be a gang that used to reside in Redoran's Retreat, a cave west-northwest of here.
I wonder how I would recognize his sword. Before Amren can answer, Heidi informs me that there's a spell that reveals if an article is stolen or not. All shopkeepers use it and she's sure Farengar the court wizard can teach it to me.
I promise Amren I'll look into it one of these days, and go to see Farengar.

Farengar tells me to come back later when he's finished working, so I decide to pay a visit to the Hall of the Dead with the girls, in case some dead bodies might be causing trouble. Sure enough, the priest Andurs asks us to recover his amulet he somehow lost among the undead.
We go in and encounter a number of aggressive mummies, but they are not too difficult to kill. We get the amulet and are back out in less than an hour.

Now I let my followers go for the rest of the evening. I return to the palace and let Farengar teach me the spell to recognize stolen goods. He looks like he would like me to stay longer and make conversation, but then he's struggling to find anything to say and the situation gets a little awkward. So I leave and walk around in the city, talk to some people and finally rest my tired legs at The Bannered Mare. I hear about a place called Forgotten Ruins somewhere far in the west. A woman named Cassia has announced that her brother got lost there, and whoever helps her find him she'll reward with "riches beyond imagining". I am rather skeptical about it and so is Jon who has sat down next to me and keeps suggesting we could spend some rewarding time together without having to travel far. Every once in a while he tells the brown-skinned maid Saadia to bring us more drinks, and it's quite late by the time I succeed in shaking him off and going to bed, alone.




next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (2) Climbing Up to Dizzy Heights

———————————————
SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
———————————————




previous day






4-201-08-18 06:23
Alvor and Sigrid's House, Riverwood, Whiterun, Skyrim


I wake up feeling awesome. I can see the family around the table. They don't seem to mind me. I get up and quietly slip myself into a spare chair, trying to look like I hadn't just occupied their matrimonial bed.

The subsequent greetings and oh-that's-all-right's are somewhat awkward, so let me better just give you an overview of the people gathered around the table.

Alvor is Hadvar's uncle. He's a blacksmith. A strongly built friendly man with a beard. Sigrid is his wife, a very nice and hospitable woman. Dorthe is their daughter who seems to be not too keen on cooking and sewing and such with her mother, and fantasizes about becoming a warrior. I ought to take her along on a trip. At the first wolf attack, she'd run screaming all the way back home and have some second thoughts about her career choices. But I'd be endangering her and that's not good. She'll get her life priorities straight someday.

At this point, I feel I ought to clarify one thing. In the ideal world, I would settle down with a strong smart caring man in a beautiful and safe place (which would probably mean outside of Skyrim) and never lay my hands on a sword. But I have to live in the real world. There is no doubt in my mind – I can't possibly think of keeping home and raising children before I have gained at least some clarity about those weird things going on around me and possibly gotten some of my memory back. I mean, do I already have a home, a family, is there someone waiting for me somewhere?

I wasn't a virgin before Hadvar, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm married. Not at all, in this day and age. In fact, I have a strong feeling I'm not, and I know for certain that I've never had children. But what about parents, siblings, friends? How could I ever have peace of mind without finding out?

Oh. Excuse me a moment while I jump up and go help Sigrid with the breakfast. It's the least I can do to repay their kindness, and besides, I so love cooking.

Alvor is really shocked about that dragon. He's afraid that if it attacked nearby Helgen, it might attack Riverwood as well. Therefore, while Hadvar will try to cobble up a defense force from whatever there is in the village, Alvor asks me to bring a letter to the local ruler asking him to send some soldiers here. If I happen to be heading that way...

Yeah, sure, I might just as well. Would be great to see a city, and I'd love to do my new friends a service.

But I absolutely have to go shopping first. There's a shop right across the street. I must go there. It's stronger than me. Um, on second thought, I'd better have a bath first. Especially because it's only half past 7 and the shop won't open until 8. That leaves me time to fill you in on what the men went on about at the breakfast table. Politics, what else? It would appear that there's a war on between Imperials and Stormcloaks. I shall call them "imps" and "storks" for short. I couldn't care less about their silly war, but when one walks around in an unknown country, it's necessary to keep informed about such things. The gagged man in that horsecart with me yesterday was none other than the leader of the storks Ulfric Stormcloak. He's supposed to have killed the king of Skyrim who in turn is a vassal of the emperor. Ulfric wants to be the king of Skyrim himself, and he wants Skyrim to be independent of the Empire. Are you with me so far? Good. Now, Skyrim is divided into "holds" and Riverwood is part of the Whiterun Hold, ruled by a jarl. He resides in the city of Hviterun which they assure me is not far away. Some people, by the way, spell the city's name the same as the hold's – Whiterun.

But enough of that. I'm in the shop now. The shopkeeper's name is Lucan Valerius and he is assisted by his sister Camilla. On my way here, I already picked up some street gossip on her. Apparently there are two men, Sven and Faendal, competing for her affection. But right now she and Lucan are concerned with something more immediate – thieves have stolen a valuable possession, a golden dragon's-claw-shaped ornament. The criminals are supposed to have gone in the direction of Bleak Falls Barrow – a scary spooky ancient ruin of sorts. I tell them I'll try to get their golden claw back. I'm not sure I actually can, but Camilla sounds almost like she's ready to go rushing after the thieves herself.

Camilla insists on going and pointing out the right road to me. Lucan is not happy.

I sell all my excess stuff to Lucan. I don't buy anything, because I need all the money I can get to afford training which is very expensive. Training not only improves my skills but, more importantly, it helps me gain personal development levels, which means, among other things, better magical protection against physical damage. With each new level, my health increases by 10units, and even 10 units can easily mean the difference between life and death in this merciless land.
[I ought to point out that "health" in the meaning of Skyrim magic means how much physical damage you can take before you die. In other words, how hard a hit will be lethal to you. "Health" has nothing to do with getting ill. "Healing" spells and potions don't cure any diseases. So it's a very misleading term, but since everyone uses it in this meaning, I shall follow the custom.]

I exit the shop with Camilla. She shows me massive robust stone structures high up the mountains across the river. That's Bleak Falls Barrow.

We walk to the direction opposite to where Hadvar and I came from last night. There's a fortification wall of sorts, but it doesn't cover the entire perimeter of the village, only the two entrances along the main road. Hadvar is there talking to some men. He walks with us to a bridge, across which one road turns right and another one left. Camilla explains me that the latter leads to the Bleak Falls Barrow and the former to the city of Hviterun.

Hadvar makes no move of going back to the village and neither do I. Camilla seems to take the hint and suggests she'd better return to the shop before Lucan gets worried, and I try to keep a straight face when I reply: "Yeah, thanks. See you around."

When she's out of earshot, Hadvar says Bleak Falls Barrow is a bad place and I mustn't go there. When I ask for specifics, he ends up reminiscing how he was afraid as a boy that the undead corpses called "draugr" would creep down the mountains at night. I assure him I'm going to take the other road and go to Hviterun to bring his uncle's letter to the jarl.

In the sight of the village guards, we dare not do more than hug and kiss goodbye. Sure enough, we are a legitimate couple, but to vanish into the bushes (or take a room at the inn) for half an hour would still be too embarrassing in such a close-knit community where I'm already the talk of the village.

So I head for Hviterun. It's a lovely warm sunny day, but Alvor and Hadvar's worry is getting into me. They were unanimous – it can't be a coincidence that the dragon attacked shortly before Ulfric Stormcloak was about to be beheaded. They suspect the storks have somehow learned to control a dragon. (Hadvar, as you may remember, is on the Empire's side, and so is his family.) It makes sense, yet there's little point for me to dwell on it. I need to watch out for wolves. Just as yesterday, I am very afraid of being attacked by wolves on the road, and I actually feel surprised when I'm already seeing a magnificent city in the distance and realize nothing happened. Then I notice a group of... no, not wolves, soldiers. As inconspicuously as I can, I quickly turn off the road and take a shortcut through the bushes. Just to be on the safe side.

I hope you won't be cross with me for telling things at such length. You must understand that this is a whole new world for me, what with my memory loss and all. It's quite possible that you are already familiar with Skyrim, but I discover something new on every corner.

The first building on the outskirts of this city which I presume to be Hviterun is a meadery. There are a couple of workers and a couple of very rough-looking very unfriendly and uncommunicative men in there. I leave quickly. Further on, I see a group of humans fighting a giant. It occurs to me that if I'd shoot arrows at him from the distance, he hopefully wouldn't attack me, because he'd be busy with the other attackers who are closer to him. I do so.

After something like 8 arrows from me, supported by the fighters' sword blows, that huge creature falls down, dead.

I exchange a few words with my three expromptu allies – a man named Farkas and two women Aela and Ria. They belong to a group called the Companions whose headquarters Jorrvaskr is in this city, Hviterun.

I ask them where they stand in the war. They say they don't care. All they're interested in is being offered money for fighting. They are grateful for my help against the giant who had been attacking a nearby farm, and suggest I join their organization. I'm not too keen. They seem to be just a gang of thugs-for-hire wrapping themselves in noble and glorious mythology. But of course there's no point letting my opinion show, which is why I just promise to visit their headquarters one of these days, and take leave of my new friends amicably.

On my way to the city entrance, I come across a tent of a traveling Khajiit merchant. Naturally I stop for some shopping and chat.

Khajiits are so incredibly cool. I adore them.

The guards at the gate tell me the city is closed, but when I say I come from Alvor of Riverwood with a message for the jarl, they allow me to enter.

This is a city all right. I stand a while at the gate to take it in. In a new place, it's always a good idea to watch and listen at first. But enough of that. I feel I could remain standing here and sensing the mood for a long time, but I don't want to try your patience so early in my tale. Apart from which, it's almost 4 o'clock, and I don't know the jarl's office hours. So I hurry towards the palace.

The first house to my right it a weapons and armor shop. The blacksmith working outside is a woman. Her name is Adrianne Avenicci. Watching her work, I realize I can also do smithing. Just the basics, nothing like what she is doing. Don't ask me where I learned, but it's coming back to me now.

Hearing that I'm headed for the palace, Adrianne asks me to bring a sword she has recently made for the jarl to her father who is the jarl's steward – meaning, his right-hand man who supervises all administrative affairs in the hold. Adrianne is nice and very interesting to talk to, but I really must get going.

The main street leads to the marketplace. A joyful young man introduces himself as Jon and welcomes me to Hviterun. I'm unsure what to make of him, so I just thank him noncommittally and hurry on. When I stop briefly to look at the wares on the market stalls, a woman about my age asks me if I'm an adventurer. I reply I am, sort of. She introduces herself as Ysolda and wonders if I have a Mammoth Tusk on me by any chance, or if I could get her one. I say I don't have any and promise to bring her one, should I find some. Ysolda smiles happily and thanks me.

Heimskr is a priest to a god called Talos.

Before I have reached the palace, a courier stops me and says he has a letter for me. For me? Is he joking? No, he isn't. Someone named Mandyn Hlaalu informs me he really needs my help and would I mind returning to Riverwood and meeting him at the inn?

They must be badly short of people capable of getting things done here, if a complete nobody like myself is looked upon like some kind of a mighty achiever. Got to remember to keep a low profile, so I won't attract undue attention of some bored roughneck looking for worthy adversaries. One would think being a woman should help me be taken not too seriously, but you never know.

"Taken not too seriously"... Did I have to think that? I have made it all the way around the forest, down the hill, around the city walls, through the gate, up another hill and into the Hviterun palace (called Dragonsreach, in case you're interested), and in the last ten meters before the jarl's throne my progress is blocked by a premenstrual gray-faced amazon with a sword, her red eyes filled with bloodthirst. An elf. The jarl's housecarl (meaning chief bodyguard). Can't stand the sight of another woman near your master, what? She demands that I tell her whatever I wanted to tell the jarl. I'd rather leave and come back when I'm strong enough to thoroughly change her outer appearance, as well as her manners. Fortunately, the jarl himself notices the commotion and orders her to let me pass. Irileth is her name. I'll remember it well.

Jarl Balgruuf is great. Maybe a tiny little bit too old for my taste, but he irradiates wisdom and confidence. The people I have talked to seem to hold him in esteem too. Although, come to think of it, Adrianne the smithess told me something a little strange earlier: "Most folk [in Hviterun] don't go hungry, if they're willing to work hard." Meaning, some people go hungry even though they're willing to work hard? That doesn't sound good.

Yes, I know I have the tendency to digress too much. I'm sorry. Back to the present moment. After reading Alvor's letter, the jarl orders Irileth to send some guards to Riverwood. She has calmed down completely and is a matter-of-factly soldier now, disciplined and sensible. Maybe I was too harsh in criticizing her. After all, I can't know what kind of trouble they may be having here. Well, whatever. Jarl Balgruuf thanks me profusely for taking the trouble to come and deliver the news, and tells me to follow him because he has another task I might be suitable for. It feels kind of inappropriate to say that things are getting too big for me. So I just walk silently behind him. It won't hurt to hear him out... I hope.

Well, turns out the court wizard Farengar, a haughtyish but not, I believe, entirely unkind man, needs an important object named Dragonstone (a stone tablet, actually), which he believes to be hidden in a dangerous place none other than Bleak Falls Barrow.

"We need it quickly, before it's too late," he says. He also says to the jarl: "You seem to have found me an able assistant." Why would he say something like that about someone he first saw only a few minutes ago? It looks a lot like he's not saying it for the first time, and I'm guessing it's not really that awfully urgent either.

This reminds me of Mr. Hlaalu's letter I mentioned to you earlier. He wrote he has heard about my great capabilities and such, but it rather sounded like he was looking for a clueless optimist to get in danger on his behalf. It makes sense, doesn't it? He needs only one to succeed in getting him what he wants, and it matters little how many get killed trying. Might be the same thing with this Farengar dude. But it does matter a lot to me if I get killed. Meaning, I'm going to Bleak Falls Barrow all right, especially now that I have two things to retrieve from there, but I'll do it when I'm ready. Never mind how urgent someone says it is. My butt is more important to me than any of anyone else's concerns.

On the other hand, it's possible that I have indeed achieved something great in the past and I just can't remember because of my amnesia. Someone magically talented might, however, sense it. If so, those mysterious questgivers know more about me than I know myself, and that is a little worrisome.

Hopefully, I'll find out more about my past someday, but all I can do right now is to find the steward Proventus Avenicci and give him the sword Adrianne wanted delivered. He mentions the jarl wants a group of bandits destroyed at Halted Stream Camp not far from the city in the northwest, and there's a monetary reward.

Then I leave the palace and check out Jorrvaskr. Not that I'm interested in taking part in their racket, but I've heard people talk about three orphan sisters living there who, in spite of their tender age and rather unthreatening looks, are great fighters. Their attitude is reputed to be not so tender, but what matters to me is that they're said to be eager to go on an adventure with someone. Regular sellswords cost a lot of money, but those three girls are just despondent because no one is taking them seriously.

I really need all the help I can get. Fighting half a dozen bandits or an unknown number of some ghostly beings is clearly over my head. Yet I have to go into dangerous places and do something, or I'll never achieve anything. Should those girls actually exist, I'll take the ugliest one with me and find out what she can do. As for her (possible) attitude, I've been a teenage girl myself.

Jorrvaskr is a really nice place, but the people aren't too prepossessing.

The teens are there all right – Mikki, Vera and Heidi. My information was correct – they can't wait to get some action and they insist they're old and responsible enough to be relied on as followers.

I take Heidi. I give her an armor and find out she has a very powerful bow. I keep it for myself and give her a weaker one I've been using so far. I exchange a few words with several of the Companions, but they seem to be just pointless brutes, even the women. Only Aela, one of those with whom I killed that giant earlier today is different. She seems really nice. I hope I can have a longer chat with her someday.

After a brief visit to a nearby temple, I walk back in the direction of the city gate and enter one of the inns, The Drunken Husband. No, that's not how it was called. Well, never mind that. The important thing is, there's a sellsword there, a cool-looking elven woman Jenassa. She demands 500 septims. As luck would have it, I had gathered enough sellable loot between Helgen and Hviterun, so after selling it all I can actually afford her. Now, with two followers, I feel confident enough to take a chance with that Halted Stream Camp. To get my feet wet, so to speak. We'll do it tomorrow, and if we're successful, we'll go to that scary and spooky Bleak Falls Barrow next.

But right now it's a few minutes past midnight and I'm tired. The other inn within the city walls, The Bannered Mare, offers rooms for rent. That's where I'm headed. Heidi and Jenassa have places to sleep in this city, so I won't have to pay for their lodging, fortunately. After quickly checking out Jenassa's gear and reequipping her, I dismiss my followers for tonight and tell them to report to me in the morning.

In spite of the late hour, The Bannered Mare is bustling with activity. The locals of both sexes are bantering back and forth or simply sitting and drinking. New people keep coming in. Needless to say, I don't know anyone here and the loud merry atmosphere is a little intimidating, especially since I've been picking up vibes of some people in Hviterun disliking some other people, but I can't understand yet what it's about, so I'm worried about saying something wrong or possibly even being seen with people I shouldn't be seen with.

So I'm most relieved when Ysolda walks in. We find a table in a (relatively) quiet corner and she tells me about a super rich High Elf called Pelin Varlais who lives in a castle southwest from here and has an ancestral sword stolen from him recently and is very eager to get it back.

I ask Ysolda what she does and she says she's trading with the Khajiit merchants, the very same I met earlier today. She's striving to become a serious trader and maybe even buy herself an inn one day. We seem to share a fascination for Khajiits which Ysolda tells me is far from common among the people of Skyrim.

But it's gotten really very late now, so my new friend excuses herself and goes home. It's decidedly time for me to go to sleep as well. As I head for my room, though, a woman named Engrid grabs my sleeve and insists that I stay away from that elf and his sword, because it's far too dangerous. My brain is no longer working, so I basically just nod to everything she says. It's past 2 when I can finally lie down on that lovely soft bed.



next awakening






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