Always Lost, Always Hopeful (180) It's Simple, I'm Afraid

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-02-14 07:29
Canal House, Bitchen, The Rift, Skyrim


We walk around a bit. Everything is peaceful in the city. We discover that the Argonian woman who has a shop down in the canal district has a wide assortment of exotic clothes and armors. How come I've missed it until now??

We go to the inn where Lydia joins us, alive and well, at least at the first glance. I can't help myself following her into the bath. It amuses her greatly. "What are you hoping to see, whipmarks?" she asks me. I don't know really. At any rate, I'm not seeing anything. But she confesses Maul did get his way this time in regard of something that did hurt a lot. I expected as much. As far as politics is concerned, Lydia has no doubt that Maul's loyalty is with the one who is stronger. He wouldn't hesitate to join our side as soon as we've killed Maven. (Of course she's never mentioned that topic around him.)

Jenassa and Jordis come to see what we're doing just as Lydia is getting dressed. We go to Elgrim and Hafjorg's alchemy shop – to say hello and to see if Ingun Black-Briar, an eager and talented disciple of Elgrim's, is possibly there.

She isn't, but it warms my heart to think that at least this establishment can be expected to be safe under the new jarlship, thanks to Maven's daughter.

It's half past 9 when we begin our trot in a slight fog under the cloudy sky towards Fort Greenwall that is halfway between Bitchen and Shor. I want to see if that youngster who loved Bronwen (I've forgotten his name) is still in the area. Then we'll spend the rest of the day going through all the settlements between here and Windhelm, hopefully reaching the latter by tonight.

We approach Fort Greenwall slowly and carefully. Getting close, we realize we shouldn't have bothered, because it's been taken over by the imps. Don't tell me the bandits who used to be here were on Ulfric's payroll!

At any rate, that youngster Mendrell is still there. Unfortunately he has no idea where to continue our search for his sweetheart Bronwen. Now I can truthfully say I've done everything humanly possible to locate her, and can put this matter out of my mind.

On our way to Shor, we run past Ahkari's caravan. They are traveling to Dånstar.

Everything in Shor is as usual, with the exception of a large number of imps patrolling everywhere. They have really wasted no time getting here at strength while we were sleeping. I had no idea they had so many troops in Falkreath. Either that, or they left it virtually undefended. I wonder how they'll react when they hear about the war in Hammerfell which is bordering on Falkreath.

Generally headed for Windhelm, we're now going to make a detour via Darkwater to our northwest.

I decide to go west over the hills (see the blue marker on the map) rather than proceed along the highway that goes north and then turns west. I don't think we've ever been to the area west of Shor and south-southeast of Darkwater.

The terrain is comfortably travelable and soon we even reach a halfway decent road. Approaching a little pond called Clearspring Tarn, we see two cute elks.

When we are past the pond, as are the elks, a couple of hunters come running from behind us, shooting arrows at them. The male elk runs off, but the female is confused. I try to scare her away from the hunters in the direction where we are headed, but she keeps wanting to return to the pond, possibly to find her mate, so we leave her to her fate and move on towards our own destination.

We reach a horrifyingly high cliff which we need to descend, or we could take the long and winding road instead.

After a little reflection, I realize I'm too impatient to use the boring road. I'll take my chances with the cliff and then wait and enjoy the sights. The girls can follow by the safe path.

Indeed, the descent is highly dangerous, but I manage.

Walking leisurely past those breathtakingly scenic waterfalls near Darkwater, waiting for my followers to catch up, I suddenly realize why Elenwen was satisfied with the peace treaty. Undoubtedly she knew about the Aldmeri attack on Hammerfell. That's why she was pleased to be able to report that Skyrim can't possibly pose a threat anytime soon.

In fact, I'm happy in hindsight I didn't make Elenwen leave the negotiations. Had she been sent away, she would have (eventually) been informed of the terms of the treaty, the dry facts. But now she witnessed personally what kind of hatred the participants were possessed by, how little readiness for cooperation and mutual understanding there was. She will report all that to her superiors. The rulers of the Aldmeri Dominion will be convinced that the Empire will have its hands full with the explosive situation in Skyrim. Convinced that the peace can't possibly last, the real peace and the unification of Skyrim which I'll bring about will strike them like a bolt from the blue.

You may ask how I can be sure that I'll be able to unify Skyrim when there's such hatred between the two hostile camps. Well, that is because all of them hate the Dominion more. The outrageous behavior of the Dominion is why the civil war started in the first place. The two sides don't really hate each other, they are in strong disagreement about the appropriate reaction to the thalmor terror in Skyrim. I will show them a way to be free of it, and I have information about new events that make that goal attainable. That said, at the end of the day it's still the people of Skyrim who will have to prove themselves strong enough to prevail against those crazy religious fanatics. All I can do is to give them a realistic chance. And the chance I'm going to give them will be better than they would have proceeding along their current path of self-destruction.

Skyrim will need a thorough military reform, though. My half-year of traveling all over Skyrim and beyond, fighting a great variety of adversaries, has proven beyond any doubt the superiority of archers over melee fighters. It is vital that we change the Nords' habit of having at best one archer per five swordsmen. While a certain number of swordsmen is necessary, the majority of our soldiers will have to be archers (equipped with proper strong bows, of course, instead of the crap they're currently using in Skyrim). Come to think of it, why not use archers on horseback? I've never seen one, but they might well turn out even more devastating than archers on foot. I'll have to discuss it all with Yrsarald. He'll know if it's realistic and if there are even enough horses in Skyrim. At any rate, screaming berserks flapping with heavy things made of metal is a thing of the past. The Nords will have to radically alter their thinking if they want their country to ever prosper. The same, I daresay, goes for their drinking habits. But I'll have to stop my ruminations for now. The girls have completed their long run and we've reached Darkwater.

This is still stork territory and the soldiers are very respectful, maybe even awestruck.

Dovahkiin means "Dragonborn" in the dragon language.

Come to think of it, it would make sense that the simple countryfolk are more happy with the peace than the top brass.

After a short stop, we leave for Vernim Wood. Running past the Darkwater open-air bath, we look enviously at the couple of villagers basking in the sun. We must do everything in our power to never allow the turning of this idyllic peaceful village into a heap of smoldering ruins.

Well, yes, it's not all that peaceful with bears and sabercats attacking every now and then. Guess, I'm in a poetic mood today.

We give the bandit castle a wide berth, wave hello to our big friend the giant Billy, and arrive in Vernim Wood a little before three in the afternoon. We have a good chance of reaching Narzulbur within business hours and we'll spend the night in Windhelm.

However, we end up being delayed in Vernim Wood because there are not just one but two bear attacks. A shorter delay occurs on our way to Kynesgrove when a wannabe highway robber is foolish enough to attack us. With great haste, we still reach Narzulbur in time to verify that none of the traders there has bought the Staff of Magnus I'm looking for. I no longer know where to search. The staff seems to be lost for good. I wonder if there's some magical way to find out where it is. I mean, a way that doesn't require involving those bureaucrat-mages from Imperial City again.

With the sun going down and the rain making snowy slopes extremely slippery, we return to Kynesgrove and proceed to Windhelm. The shops in the city have already closed, but I have one call to make before going to the palace. It's about that book Seline of Morpork is interested about. After some asking around, I find the vendor at the Gray Quarter inn. It's a Dark Elf woman Myra with an unusually dark skin, or maybe it's the light.

Now, she is the most incompetent swindler I've ever seen in my life. She lays it on so thick with her oily praise of my wisdom not to fail to grab the chance of my lifetime, that it would likely make a 5-year-old child suspicious.

More amused than annoyed, I ask her where she found the book and why has she come all the way from Morrowind to Skyrim, when Nords are not exactly famous for their love of reading. She says she couldn't find a buyer in Morrowind – everyone stupidly assumed she was some kind of a scam artist. I ask to see the book and burst out laughing – it has a ridiculous grammatical error on the very cover.

I inform Myra that she has the choice – either she gives me the book and gets on the first ship to Morrowind, or I take her to the palace and have her interrogated in the prison.

Myra remains true to her game. She acts highly indignant for being so baselessly accused. Then she grabs the book and runs quickly to the door. I hesitate a second too long and then there are some people coming in and by the time I get past them and onto the street, I can't see Myra anywhere. Sure enough, I could ask the streetwalker Llaala which way she ran, but it's hardly worth it.

Now, even if the book hadn't been so crudely falsified and even if Myra would have had even a shred of credibility, it's still obvious that if the book had been genuine, the book traders in this very city, not to mention those in Morrowind wouldn't have failed to buy it in order to sell it to someone for a higher price. The fact that Myra was peddling in an obscure inn a book knowledgeable traders didn't want is additional proof that it was fake.

But enough of this. It's almost 10 o'clock in the evening and I have to go and see Yrsarald in order to, as it were, prepare him emotionally to be eager to agree to anything I'm going to say the next time we meet.

There is feverish war planning in progress in Yrsarald's office. Gathered around the big map are officers, several of whom I've never seen before. One would think Windhelm is under siege.

Luckily for me, the meeting ends soon. Most officers leave and Yrsarald is also excused. Only Ulfric, Galmar and a man unknown to me remain.

Yrsarald and I make love in his bedroom upstairs. Nothing fancy this time, he just can't wait to stick it in. Looks like he hasn't had any for a long time. Or maybe it's my wishful thinking.

I get very passionate. Or maybe just passionate, without "very". When Yrsarald comes, I'm very close myself. If he would go on with his movements just a little longer, I would reach an orgasm too. No, he's pulling out. Even more disappointingly, he turns his back on me and falls asleep. No, no! I have a dispute over relationship issues to pull off. I try to shake Yrsarald up, but all he does is turn around, snap at me angrily and fall asleep again.

Come to think of it, I sensed already while we were walking up the stairs how tired he was. Not down there, though. He was hard almost before he closed the door behind us. But his brain is gone for tonight. My ingenious and devious plan has failed miserably.

Well, nothing doing. I'll just have to go to him after Ulfric's death and improvise.

I return downstairs where I run into Anuriel, until recently the steward of Jarl Laila.

What is that sneaky bitch doing here? I understand the jarl of The Rift and her retinue have been given shelter on the friendly territory, but why would Maven banish her agent? She is even acting as if she hated me.

Then it dawns to me. Anuriel is continuing to work as Maven's spy! I'll have to remember to have her thoroughly interrogated and executed after Yrsarald and I have taken over here. Exposing her as an enemy agent will earn me a few points with the storks for sure.

In the last minute, I remember to go and check out the passages that lead to the prison. I'm rather appalled to find out there is no other exit! Those passages I saw near the eastern harbor are an entirely separate dungeon.

This means there is no way to sneak into the palace without being seen. I'm going to have to enter through the front door. Of course the guards won't prevent me, and I would have no difficulties getting to Ulfric's bedroom which, as you know, is right next to Yrsarald's, but I won't be able to deny having been in the palace. I guess I'll just have to confront Yrsarald with a fait accompli and put our love to the test. If he'll hate me after that, then so be it. I'm sure I'll be able to find a good man back home in High Rock.

Downcast in more than one way, I return to my house and go to sleep.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (132) Irresolute Endeavor

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-201-12-28 06:44
Blackmoor Inn, Blackmoor, Whiterun, Skyrim

The streets are practically empty. Here and there, a lonely passerby is on his way to work, but the shops are still closed.

I can't get Anedhel out of my mind. Never before have I seen a man fall in love with me at first sight like that.

So I go to the Thane's Hall. Anedhel is there and fortunately no one else is.

I'm suddenly very nervous and don't know what to do. So I step closer to him, cast my eyes down and wait. He takes the last step that separates us, hugs me gingerly and we kiss.

Now my curiosity gets the best of me and I reach down there with my hand. Feels like semi-hard.

This gesture seems to remove Anedhel's insecurity completely. He lifts me up and carries me I don't know where. I close my eyes and feel I'm wet already.

I'm gently lowered down to a bed. It's a niche in one of the side rooms. I can't see much of the room from the niche, so I suppose we have a good chance of remaining undetected even if someone should enter.

In a strange way, I am enjoying myself and feeling uncomfortable at the same time. (As I'm going to realize later discussing this with my followers, I am subconsciously scared of pain after my unfamiliar ordeal yesterday. Health potions remove only the physical discomfort, not the fear of its potential return.) Although Anedhel's penis in my vagina isn't causing any pain there or anywhere else, I can't truly relax, especially after someone walks in on us after all. I think it's the thane's housecarl I saw briefly on the street last night. He's gracious enough to leave quietly in order not to spoil his lower-ranking colleague his pleasure, but my mood is thoroughly ruined by the shame. Anedhel doesn't seem to be disturbed at all and takes his time, and I actually end up suppressing moans of pleasure.

All in all, this experience was more embarrassing than satisfying. I get dressed and leave the building as inconspicuously as I can. Out on the street, I'm still the dragonslaying hero, so my mood returns to normal quickly. The weather has gotten much better as well. I do my shopping and look briefly into a house or two.

That's a curious writing implement. The man looks really cool too.

I decide we'll go now to the Brittleshin Pass in the south not too far from here, and get that staff Enthir wanted. I mean, I don't have to give the staff to Enthir, and if I do, I don't have to give that item he'll give me in return to Arniel. It's just that we're so close to where the staff is, so we can just as well have a little adventure. I'll have plenty of time later to decide what I want to do with the staff.

Just past the mountains that border Blackmoor from the west and south, we notice a fortress.

We sneak closer. I can see a bandit walking on the rampart, and another one standing still. The walking one is now obscured by the wall, so I aim at the standing one. He looks kind of weird. Don't tell me it's a training dummy. I hit it, but it remains standing. It was a training dummy. And now I've made the living bandits realize something is wrong. So much for a covert approach.

The dummy I hit a minute ago is the one on the left.

Fortunately, we still manage to get to the base of the wall where they can't see us. There doesn't seem to be a gate on this side. We sneak around a third of the perimeter clockwise, reaching a place where a part of the fortifications is crumbled so much that I can climb over with some effort. This doesn't remain unnoticed and I'm attacked immediately. I have to exchange my bow for the Blade of Woe . Eventually, my followers succeed in climbing over as well and join the battle. When the attackers have been eliminated, I equip my bow again and we climb onto the ramparts. The remaining soldiers still see us first, except for one:

What is this? Are you seriously not noticing me? Guess I'd better shoot you dead then, before you wake up from your daydreams.

The fortress is formidable. Borgakh is particularly impressed. If only they'd clear away the rubble and repair the defense wall in that one place where I was able to climb over earlier, this would be an awesome defense installment.

Those clever bastards have erected training dummies all over the place:

I wonder if it could be possible to equip them with magical eyes, so a mage could sit in the fortress and still see what's going on outside.

I'm unsure if I want to explore the interior at all. But since I'm a thane here, I have to do my part keeping law and order in the Whiterun Hold. This place is very close to Hviterun's Western Watchtower (on the right edge of the picture above). Therefore, we go in, and I'm going to be damn glad we did, because this gang is one evil bunch. We find cages, many of which have corpses in them. One cage contains two people tortured to death with fire. It's quite horrible. We kill all the bandits. They aren't much of fighters.

A rather grotesque encounter is with a frail old woman who walks around freely and wouldn't attack us. For that matter, she seems unarmed. She says her name is Agnis and she cooks, cleans and does whatever else the bandits want. Considering her age, it's hard to imagine they would have wanted much, but with that crazy lot I'm not really sure of anything, and I'm not going to enquire about details. We leave her alive. For the time being, she's become the mistress of this horrifying place.

Back outside, we run to the nearby watchtower and tell the city guards they'd better ask the jarl to send some men to occupy the empty bandit fortress. The girls and I proceed to the southwest. We discover a cave entrance called North Brittleshin Pass. It leads to a system of caves called, unsurprisingly, Brittleshin Pass.

There are some walking skeletons and mages inside. From one of the latter, we get the staff Enthir wanted. Its name, buy the way, is Staff of Tandil . The exit at the other end is called, just as I thought, South Brittleshin Pass. We are now on the northern shore of Lake Ilinalta, northeast of Little Vivec. The sun is going down.

Shall we swim across? It's not far, but I'm not sure we can find a place where we can come ashore without being seen naked. Or should we proceed westwards along the coast? Or east to Riverwood?

I get an idea. Tomorrow we could go and explore the southwestern corner of Falkreath one more time. As you may remember, we left the area beyond Pinewood unexplored the last time because we got overloaded. There's no danger of that this time. We could, like, spend this night in Falkert, explore the unknown area tomorrow, and unhurriedly return to Hviterun by the night of the 30th.

The girls think it's a good idea. So we walk to the shore close by. We're going to swim to a little islet between here and Little Vivec, and then come ashore behind Selyse's shop or find another location if necessary. (Jenassa, will you be fine? Yes, she replies, her period ended today.)

Unfortunately, when we come out of the water on the islet, that little boy Albert happens to run around the corner of the shop, and he sees us naked. Dammit! In a small community such as Little Vivec, I simply can't afford to embarrass myself in public like this. Should have put up with the discomfort and swum in armor.

My mood is slightly improved when I find that Selyse is still trading at 7 in the evening. We run quickly through Aurora, because I don't want Lorm to have to see me. But then I notice Ursula is outside her house, so I go to ask if she would trade and she would. Learning from her that Lorm is not in the village, I relax. Ursula apologizes for not inviting us in. With her husband at home, we're certainly more comfortable chatting outside. Me and my followers agree that it's a good idea. Ursula is curious to know what happened between me and Lorm, and I tell her.

It's already dark when we proceed to Falkert.

After a little chat in the cozy and friendly inn, we go to bed relatively early.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (51) On the Road

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-201-10-07 07:21
Severin Manor, Ravenrock, Solstheim, Morrowind


We wake up maybe not as fresh as usual. A good swim in the icy ocean will do us good in this condition. I'm glad there's no thunder.

So, that's the first islet, the smaller one west of the town:

Unfortunately, we find out there's nothing on it to see. It has remains of some old structure, but it's completely abandoned now. This is what it looks like:

The second one has a reaver camp on it. "Reaver" is the local word for "bandit". I figure since those "reavers" haven't done us any wrong, we'll leave them alone and swim quietly back to the main island. I mean, I can imagine that they steal and rob and kill, but we're not exactly saints either, so let the natural selection deal with them.

We run through the town. I say a cordial farewell to the alchemist Milore of whom I've grown very fond.

My boyfriend Veleth is nowhere to be seen and I'm not going to look for him. It might be embarrassing if he wanted to make love before I leave and I would have to explain why I can't. Besides, I may be tempted to ask if he thinks it's all right for me to leave Solstheim without destroying Miraak, and I know I'd better not ask him that.

The Orc bully Mogrul finds me by himself, though. He was very impressed by our dragon-killing the other day, remember? Now he informs me he'll put the word out that I'm an Orc friend, which means I will be admitted into Orc villages.
If that's true, I won't have to bring The Forgemaster's Fingers  to Dushnikh Yal, and thus I could continue doing enhanced Smithing. That would be great.
I'm a little wary of the possibility that Mogrul might have come to admire me too much, if you know what I mean. But it hardly matters, now that we're leaving Solstheim.

Captain Gjalund greets us with a bright smile, but there are no more free rides for us. We have to pay the regular fare – 2500 septims. It's a lot of money, but I can afford it.

Much sooner than I expected, we're in Windhelm. Understandably, I'd rather not go and see Yrsarald today, so I just sell what I can and then we head for nearby Kynesgrove. Our plan is to find the city of Bitchen. I want to take care of that orphanage business. The children have to be rescued. Something tells me that affair is going to be kind of messy, but I can't put it off with a clean conscience any longer. On our way to Bitchen, we're going to make a slight detour and check out Kagrenar where that fugitive from Morrowind is supposed to have gone to.

At the Kynesgrove inn, I'm informed that the jarl wants the giant in Steamcrag Camp killed, but I decide I won't do it. After that peaceful giant further south we've ran past a few times, I no longer want to kill giants. Let them steal an occasional cow. I'm staying out of it.

I make the acquaintance of the local witch Dravynea who teaches Alteration magic for good money. This is the porch of her house which has a really nice cozy atmosphere:

Then we run south along the highway towards Vernim Wood in a magnificent thunderstorm. Even though we carefully keep away from trees and bodies of water, the lightnings sometimes strike so close to us that it's scary.

To our right, outside the frame, is the very Steamcrag Camp where I'm supposed, and not going, to kill a giant.
This mammoth must be his.

In Vernim Wood, I manage to sell everything apart from a few handfuls of ancient gold and silver coins. You can't pay with those, you have to exchange them for septims.

Just south of Vernim Wood, we are supposed to turn off the main road. However, as I stand there and look up to the mountains where Kagrenar should be, I feel a strange reluctance. My feet just don't want to move. The girls watch me and don't say anything. I'm not sure how long it lasts that we stand there like this. Eventually I turn back onto the main road and start running south towards Bitchen. The girls follow. None of us says anything.

We cross from Eastmarch to The Rift. The rain has ceased.

We stop for a moment to admire from the green slope on this side of the valley the magnificent view to the white mountains on the other side. They look as if they're covered with powdered sugar. Then we proceed southwards. Soon we arrive in a village called Shor. (In the distant past called Shor's Stone.) There's a watchtower with several dead soldiers, but we can't find out what has happened. In the village, everything seems peaceful.

It's weird, but at 18:15 the general store has already closed. We make conversation with the men sitting around a campfire across the street. When they hear we're headed for Bitchen, they inform us it's an extremely corrupt city – even the guards at the gate demand a bribe for letting you in. And as if that wasn't enough, there's a fortress called Fort Greenwall halfway from here to Bitchen. The Windhelm–Bitchen highway actually passes through its gates. We'd better bypass it through the forest.

We thank them for the warning and move on. Soon we see Fort Greenwall. There's a battle going on in the courtyard. One of the men appears non-hostile. So we go in. After we've killed all the hostiles, he introduces himself as Mendrell. He's a bit weird. He has a voice like a 10-year-old boy. He says he loves that missing girl Bronwen and that he fears she's fallen into the hands of the slaver Dar'Jidarr – that'll be that Khajiit man we've seen at the Dragonbridge inn.

Whatever. I go and kill one bandit who is still sitting on top of a citadel looking away from the courtyard, possibly asleep.

Then we enter the castle interior. It's a decent-sized battle. I keep practising with my Aetherial Staff. I have no idea why it's successful in conjuring a Dwarven Sphere only in one attempt out of three. Not that is has much significance. We kill the bandits without much trouble.

Death of the second-to-last bandit: health bar already gone, Sense of Smell glow still to remain for half an instant.

As it's almost midnight, I decide we'll sleep here rather than proceed to Bitchen and start looking for lodging in the middle of the night.



next awakening