Always Lost, Always Hopeful (183) The Ultimate Trial

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-02-17 11:32
Black-Briar Manor, Bitchen, The Rift, Skyrim


It's a wonderful day with the sun shining – which, of course, is not unusual when you wake up several hours after sunrise.

We hurry to Elgrim's shop. Ingun Black-Briar is not there and they have no idea where she could be.

Now we walk to our house. I'm gracious enough to knock on the door and give Maul and Lydia time to get some clothes on. I explain to Maul what we have done and that I would appreciate his help in keeping the underworld in line. Maul assures me his complete support and even volunteers to help us get rid of the Thieves' Guild for good. Clearly he can see which way the wind is blowing and wants to be on the winners' side – as well as Lydia's.

I walk Maul to the door and tell him that, as he undoubtedly understood, Lydia lured him out of the palace so he wouldn't get in the way while we were dealing with Maven. I ask him not to punish Lydia for deceiving him (as would by custom be his right) because she had no choice, she had to obey my order.

Maul assures me he loves Lydia and would never hurt her.

I advise him not to lay it on too thick. Having your almighty boss smashed like an insect is no reason to cease being a man. It's not attractive.

Maul leaves. I return to the kitchen and cut the girls' excited chatter short. We have a lot of work to do, so we head for the inn to have a bath.

Our first visit after that is to the palace where we find Maul standing on his post in front of the empty throne. I inform him that I'll send the other members of the provisional city council to the palace soon. I instruct the guards to pass the word that Ingun is to be arrested and temporarily kept in the prison until I return, which should be in a week at the latest. Then I suddenly realize I'd forgotten all about Sibbi Black-Briar. He must be still in the jail!

We find him most amicable.

He's sincerely happy seeing four pretty women and invites us to visit his cell together or one by one just as we please. I feel almost sorry putting him to death.

Then I round up Madesi, Brand-Shei, Mjoll and Bolli. I have decided against inviting Haelga instead of Brand-Shei. He is nice and feels deep gratitude for my help, whereas Haelga has never shown any liking in me. Apart from which, Sibbi was big love of Haelga's close relative Svana, and there is no way of knowing how far that might influence Haelga attitude towards me.

I tell the new citizen council that I know this is an unusual situation, but we'll have to make the best of it. The Imperial soldiers will remain for the time being, but the responsibility for keeping the life in The Rift as normal and nonviolent as possible will ultimately rest upon the five of them, so I'm begging them to tolerate each other and work together and refrain from any drastic undertakings. That goes especially for Mjoll and Maul.

As we leave the palace, I finally get a chance to ask Lydia how it was last night. She says Maul wasn't offended at all. He actually appreciated Lydia's going out of her way to be together with him in spite of her embarrassing state. That was before he learned from me that we actually needed to keep him away from the palace. But Lydia tells me she had a chance to talk to Maul after that and apologize to him and he really wasn't angry. She tells us it was actually an exciting experience to suck a man off while having her period, even though she hopes she won't have to do it again – except perhaps with her future husband.

I spend the rest of the afternoon walking around and talking to various people and making sure they understand things are under control and there shall be no new war and they are to go on with their usual work. When I see shops closing, I realize it's past 6 in the evening already!! Planning this whole endeavor, I was unsure how I would kill time today (because Ulfric obviously needs to be assassinated while he's sleeping), but now I have to worry about making it to Windhelm on time. After all, we still need to find Maven's country house and kill her remaining henchmen.

Dusk is falling as we explore the hilly, partially mountainous region east and northeast of Bitchen.

We find a Lost Prospect Mine and two or three groups of bandits, but not Maven's country mansion. It's almost dark when I'm beginning to get desperate. I'd feel very bad if I had to leave a strong group of Maven's cutthroats alive in the Bitchen area, but the darker it'll get, the harder it'll be to search for anything around here as well as to find one's way around the mountain ranges. And we'll have to reach Windhelm no later than 4 in the morning.

The girls suggest we should look further south – which means east-southeast of the city. Indeed, we now find a large mansion between mountains from which a path goes south to the main road. We are approaching from the west.

Descending the rocky mountain, I mentally urge myself not to do anything foolish, but it's hopeless – I can't muster any patience to think about tactics. I just keep rushing forward and attacking everyone hostile-looking. We kill a couple of guards outside the side door, then enter and go from room to room.

I'm not sure we've got all of them, yet I find my legs carrying me out the main door. There doesn't seem to be anyone. A little ahead is a wooden watchtower. As I run towards it, my followers on my heels, we are attacked from behind and in fact Jenassa gets hit rather badly. The bottom line is: I was inadmissibly lax on this mission. I guess I'm unable to think clearly right now because I'm terrified about having to kill Ulfric – and face Yrsarald after that.

We must waste no more time here. Admittedly, we may have missed a thug or two around here, but they will surely scatter to all winds instead of going to Bitchen to fight against the new government. So we can now head for the Bitchen–Windhelm highway.

We travel north towards Windhelm without stopping anywhere.

As we approach Windhelm, I instruct the girls to hide west of the bidge and keep out of sight. Me, I swim to the western harbor and sneak up to the western gate. There's a guard outside the gate, but I wait for the moment when he is looking the other way and succeed in sneaking past behind his back and in through the gate. He will surely have heard me open and close it, but I hope he didn't see who I was. I dash around the nearest corner and hide in a doorway. The street between here and the marketplace is completely empty.

I can hear the gate open and then close again. Faint footsteps get closer, then stop, then go away again, and then the gate opens and closes. Evidently the guard gave up trying to catch up with the mysterious intruder, so I can now stop to think how to proceed. It's only half past 1, so there's no hurry. I'm not sure Ulfric is even sleeping yet. Therefore, I take my time, a lot of time, sneaking past the sleepy guard who is watching the marketplace. I'm extremely happy the ever-present and all-seeing old beggar Silda is at none of her usual spots. Hopefully she has found herself a sleeping place indoors.

It's an hour later that I reach the palace. On the palace square, I meet a guard who has evidently just come out and is going to make his usual round around the town. He is obviously seeing me, and so is the guard standing outside the entrance, and so will the two who, as I presume, will be inside, but it can't be helped.

I walk up to the soldier who is guarding the entrance and tell him I have an urgent message to Yrsarald and he'd better be especially alert and arrest anyone whom he doesn't know who tries to enter the palace. It's just a smokescreen – I plan on making it look like afterwards as if I had been expecting an assassin to try and infiltrate the palace.

I also inform him I'll take full responsibility for waking Yrsarald up. He smiles and says I can rest assured he won't mind. I can't help smiling in turn, and then I enter the palace.

The throne room is empty, apart from the two guards to whom I have to explain myself too. I tell them I come from Bitchen with vitally important news I'll have to give Yrsarald immediately. They let me proceed.

At 3:14, I reach Ulfric's bedroom. At 3:17, Ulfric Stormcloak is dead.

I go and wake up Yrsarald and beg him not to make any noise. I show him the documents I stole from the Thalmor Embassy almost three months ago that reveal in detail what Ulfric told the thalmors while being their captive (and undoubtedly tortured), and how after his release they blackmailed him to continue giving them information about the Stormcloak operations, and how he even occasionally received assistance from the thalmors who were keen to keep the Skyrim civil war going for as long as possible.

Yrsarald is shocked and begins to think out loud (well, in murmur, actually) what to do about Ulfric. I cut him short and tell him Ulfric is dead, and I'm really very terribly sorry I killed the two guards patrolling the sleeping quarters, but I had to, because they might have raised alarm or even prevented me from going into Ulfric's bedroom.

I'll spare you all the confusing details, but the essence of our following conversation is this: I tell Yrsarald that he has every right to punish me for not telling him about this beforehand; however, right now we have to prevent an outburst of unimaginable outrage among the Stormcloak supporters. We'll have to tell the people that while I was in imp-controlled Bitchen and killed the anti-Stormcloak Black-Briars, I learned that the thalmors had sent an assassin to kill Ulfric. I rushed to Windhelm to warn him. Unfortunately, I came too late and Ulfric had already been killed. We must open a window through which the assassin ostensibly escaped. At the same time, we will announce that the Aldmeri Dominion has attacked Hammerfell, which is the first stage in their new war against the Empire, and that they have a secret stronghold in western Skyrim, and they have also sent assassins to murder Jarl Elisif and General Tullius, and I am hurrying to the west to find out about the situation in Solitud, and in case of any trouble there, convince the Imperials that it's not a Stormcloaks' provocation but a hostile move by the Aldmeri Dominion.

I inform Yrsarald that I have made a deal with General Tullius, and that I destroyed Maven Black-Briar's criminal organization in Bitchen and we shall restore the Stormcloak ally Laila to power, watched over by the citizens' council appointed by me. I also inform him that Laila's steward Anuriel is Maven's spy who might well be involved in skooma trade. She has to be painfully interrogated and then executed. And I'm going to exterminate the Silver-Blood mafia in Morpork because, firstly, that's a part of the deal with Tullius, and secondly they are a most despicable bunch of traitors and racketeers.

When Yrsarald doesn't say anything for several seconds, I add timidly that I'll go with Tullius's soldiers and destroy the thalmor stronghold at Fort Masser. Having said that, I cast my eyes down (we're sitting on his bed facing each other) and wait.

I flinch when Yrsarald's fingers lift my chin up. I look deep into his dark blue eyes in hopeless pursuit of figuring out what he is thinking.
"Laura."
"Yes." I look down again.
"One of these days, we'll need to sit down and talk."
I make bold to look up once more. "About what?"
"About us. About our future."

I almost fall onto the floor with surprise, which is a really hard thing to do when you're sitting cross-legged in a perfectly stable position. I'm perplexed. I mean, perplexed is not the word. I had played through a great number of possible scenarios time and again, but I never expected this.

I had imagined getting Yrsarald to talk "about us" would require immense effort. I had my speech rehearsed a million times in my head about how I have always given him everything he wanted and I think it's about time he give me what I want, and if our relationship is to last, we need to share more than our bodies. I need to know what makes him happy and what makes him sad, and what plans he has for our future, and I need to be able to tell him what I think and feel and desire. And now he's basically taken it out of my hands by bringing up the topic of sharing before I had made so bold.

Yrsarald's hand pushes my shoulder motioning me to stand up as he rises up too. I can't help relishing the sight of his manhood, impressive even when far from its full size. "We must waste no time," says Yrsarald while getting dressed in a fast soldierlike manner. We hurry to Ulfric's bedroom where he verifies Ulfric's heart in indeed not beating. (I hadn't thought of that.) Together we carry the two dead guards from the corridor into two empty guest bedrooms. Then Yrsarald orders me to run and bring here the court wizard Wuunferth, as well as the two guards in the throne room. The guards are to remain standing in the corridor well away from Ulfric's door and wait, Wuunferth is to enter Ulfric's bedroom where Yrsarald will talk to him. I am to stay with the guards and make sure they won't approach the door to eavesdrop, nor venture into any of the other rooms.

I do so, and obviously I'm not hearing what Yrsarald tells Wuunferth. As I'm to learn much later, Yrsarald's plan is to ask Wuunferth to pretend to examine the two guards from downstairs and announce that they had a spell cast on them which made them forget how the assassin entered the palace an hour or two ago. While I'm downstairs summoning them, Yrsarald very cautiously breaks one of the windows (they can't be opened) as if Ulfric's murderer had climbed out of it.

Yrsarald has calculated correctly that Wuunferth is smart enough to know what's good for him. After he and Yrsarald have come out of Ulfric's bedroom, the wizard takes the two guards into an empty room while Yrsarald takes me aside and tells me to quickly leave the city by the main gate seen by as few people as possible, and tell every guard whom I meet that Yrsarald has ordered them to detain all strangers. (That's for the show, of course. Should the guards actually bring any suspicious people to him, Yrsarald intends to ask them a few simple questions and then let them go.)

Yrsarald asks me where my followers are. When I say I left them outside the city, he praises my foresight. I feel extreme happiness, as well as profound admiration for my sweetheart's ability to figure out what to do so quickly. They say quick decision-making is the most important characteristic of a military leader (coincidentally one I'm utterly lacking), and tonight I've had a rare chance of seeing it in action, as it were, from a front-row seat. Anyway, I'm not even allowed to spend the night in Windhelm, let alone jump up, put my legs around Yrsarald's hips and kiss him passionately. Having received my orders, I nod and hurry away down the corridor while Wuunferth is still busy with the two soldiers telling them what I have no clue of at this moment. I hope Yrsarald will be able to break the news to the population so as to... wait, I need a letter from him to show Tullius!!!

I run back to the other end of the corridor. I find Yrsarald in the room opposite his own, explaining something to the two guards. He comes out with me and I tell him that I need a letter written in his hand and stamped with Ulfric's personal seal (which is here – I take it out of my pocket) to the effect that the Stormcloaks will refrain from hostilities as long as the Imperial Army will, and that he is prepared to work together with Tullius in thwarting the thalmor aggression against Hammerfell and, should it come to be, against Skyrim.

We hurry downstairs into his office. Yrsarald musters all his calmness in order to write the letter with a more or less steady hand (I can see he's no scholar). I help him over the difficult formulations and then he signs and seals the letter and puts Ulfric's seal into his own pocket. We hug and I'm about to leave, but I remember one thing at the last moment. Would he give me a written order to eliminate the Silver-Blood mafia, similar to the one I got from Tullius for destroying the Black-Briars in Bitchen?

Yrsarald says: no, he can't do anything of the kind before he's had an independent confirmation that the Black-Briars have indeed been eliminated.

"Don't you believe me?" I ask, offended.

"Don't start, Laura," he replies, looking at me sternly. "I, citizen Yrsarald Ragnarsson, believe you all right, but I, the acting supreme commander of the Stormcloak Army, have no right to undertake something so weighty upon the word of one adventurer, no matter how gorgeous-looking and personally close to me."

However, after a moment of reflection, he does write me a document to be shown to any jarls or officers or such whenever necessary (but not to the general public, of course). It says that Jarl Ulfric has been murdered by a thalmor assassin and the Aldmeri Dominion has started a new war; therefore the Stormcloak and Imperial leaders are working on a proper peace treaty to be concluded forthwith; all the thalmors are going to be banned from Skyrim; the Stormcloak military is to refrain from any hostilities against the Imperial forces unless in necessary self-defense; and all civil and military authorities are ordered to give the Breton woman Laura known as the Dragonborn all possible assistance.

He hands me the signed and sealed document, and tells me to get the fuck out of here. I say "Yes, Mylord", chance a cautious smile and hurry away.

Fortunately, the streets are still empty. I exit, as ordered, through the main gate, pass Yrsarald's order concerning the detention of anyone unknown on to the guards, and start running westwards along the main road at usual traveling speed as if everything was normal.

I meet up with my followers, as agreed, on the bushes just off the road at the crossing west of the bridge. We're going to need a place to sleep. We think briefly of going to Kynesgrove, approaching it from the south, to establish witnesses who saw us coming from the direction opposite to Windhelm in the early morning after the night when Ulfric was murdered. Then, however, we decide it'll be better if the people of Kynesgrove won't have even an idea that we were anywhere in the region this night. We'll take the Hviterun highway and see if we'll be allowed to sleep in the workers' dormitory at Mixwater Mill. It should be empty or almost empty.

Indeed, we find the shack door unlocked and not a soul inside. As there would hardly be any point in disturbing the proprietress Gilfre so early in the morning, we just close the door behind us and go to sleep.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (182) Reckoning

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-02-16 06:26
Proudspire Manor, Solitud, Haafingar, Skyrim

We leave the city without delay. Not even any shopping this time. However, I remember at the last moment that I wanted to take care of that shipment for the cider merchant Morilla of Morpork. So we head for the harbor. I don't think this will take long.

The harbor is almost empty at this early hour. We can see two bored-looking guards, as well as vague silhouettes of some people farther southerly.

After quick whispered instructions, we step up to the guards. They cheerfully greet Jordis whom they evidently know from earlier. I ask the guards if they know a High Elf named Inuril. One of them points down the quay towards a docked ship and a shack. I give a sign to Jenassa and we walk that way.

Indeed, there's a very tall man wearing typical thalmor clothes. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder and am pleased to notice that Jordis and Lydia are casually walking the guards away from us.

The tall man confirms that his name is Inuril. He's eating an apple.

I know Morilla wants him dead, but I have no reason to create more bloodshed than is strictly necessary. So I start by telling Inuril Morilla's apples are poisoned.

I curse my stupidity, but then I try to make him believe it's a poison that works slowly, and doesn't he find it strange that Morilla gave them up so easily? Morilla wanted to take revenge on him for he-knows-what. (I have, of course, no idea what it is Morilla hates him for, but I hope he does.)

Inuril hesitates for a few seconds, and then it no longer matters, because Jenassa stabs him from behind. I quickly search his corpse and find the documents for the apple shipment. We roll the body over the edge of the quay as quietly as possible. No one seems to be seeing us.

I arrange at the harbor office to have what's left of the apples delivered to Morpork. Then we travel across the moor to Morthal where everything seems peaceful. Even children are playing on the street.

I stop only to buy Black Soul Gems from the wizard Falion. They're very rare. But I won't waste time on saying hello to the jarl, let alone shopping. I absolutely want to be in Bitchen by tonight.

The directest route goes straight across the mountains to Hviterun. That means passing by Labyrinthian. Naturally, we're way beyond having any fear of ice trolls by now, but I still can't help feeling apprehensive about those creepy stone birds. Silly as it may seem to you, I'm glad I won't have to walk past them alone. (And if they are not really birds but some fable monsters, I don't want to know it.)

Having left the huge stone structures and a few newlydead trolls behind, we go through the mountain pass and reach the wide open grassland northwest of Hviterun. Quite near us is Silent Moons Camp – that bandit nest with a wide stone staircase that had an unusual smithing forge.

A little ahead of my followers as usual, I run in a straight line towards Hviterun without even bothering to check if there is anybody there. At the foot of those stairs, several bandits attack me. While my followers shoot arrows into them, I just charge at them with my sword. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?" asks Lydia when the battle is over. Yeah, come to think of it, maybe I was. I've been feeling increasingly gloomy after we've left Solitud. I'm sorry. I'll be more careful from now on.

Without wasting time on looking for the bandits inside the structure, we run straight to Hviterun. Near the gate, I hesitate a little and then decide not to enter the city proper. We just pay a brief visit to the inn in the southwestern suburb. The proprietress Malene says it's business as usual, and Sabjorn at the Honningbrew Meadery tells us the same thing. We also exchange a few words with Alfhild who is on her way home to the Battle-Born Farm. Yes, it would seem things are as peaceful here as can be. I'm very grateful for that.

We're going to travel via Valtheim Towers and Fort Amol. That would mean crossing the White River by the bridge in the picture above and turning left.

When we're on the opposite bank and out of the guards' sight, I call a halt. We sit down on the roadside slope and I tell Jenassa that I need help with my self-doubts. I hurry to emphasize that this is not about slutty behavior (which, as you may remember, she forbade me to worry about and indeed I haven't). She acknowledges my explanation with a slight smile.

"What I'm worried about is my tendency to ruin my relationships," I tell the girls. "I chased Lorm away, I couldn't keep Erik who was in love with me, I've been neglecting Oudin, I had Aranath get bored with me, I've been using Gregor and Valdimar just for amusement, and now I'm jeopardizing my relationship with Yrsarald because of some stupid war. There are times I feel I'm a complete failure as a woman. And don't tell me I can't expect to have a normal relationship while I'm a traveling warrior. I've told that to myself a hundred times and it's not helping. Tell me something sensible."

Jenassa looks pensively at the Hviterun palace we can see beyond the big rock across the road. Then she turns to me. "I've been feeling a failure as a woman while having a steady relationship. I was living in the back room of an inn, and it didn't look like I could ever inspire my man to strive for something more."
"The point is," continues Lydia, "pitying yourself and finding reasons to think of yourself as a failure is the easiest thing in the world."
"The skill we need to learn is to pay attention to good things that are all around us," says Jenassa.
I smile, feeling good for the first time today.
After a few moments of silence, Lydia says: "We want people around us to be happy, and that's a good thing, but we mustn't think we're responsible for other people's happiness."
"...because you can't give more than you have," adds Jenassa.
"You can't be required to give more than you have."
"Right," confirms Jenassa. "You have to make the best of what you've got, and not feel guilty for not having the resources for righting all the wrongs in the world."
"...or the strength."
"...or not being in the mood for it at the moment."
They're so right. I stand up and hug them happily. "Thanks, girls. Let's go."

We see a couple of lovely hares and a couple of lovely elks on our way to Valtheim.

There's a Redguard woman outside Valtheim who demands that we pay a "road toll". I know I ought to kill her, but I feel kind of fed up with killing people. So I just tell her to shove off. Fortunately she has enough sense not to try anything.

The nature of the western Eastmarch is very beautiful. We meet a few travelers and get past Fort Amol without being harassed. (Or has the fortress been taken over by soldiers? I can no longer remember.)

I had planned on traveling along the road, bypassing Darkwater and Vernim Wood, but when we reach the Darkwater bridge, I feel I want to drop in just for a moment.

We don't do anything special, just speak a few words to a guard and then run across the hot pool area towards the Windhelm–Bitchen highway. We pass through Vernim Wood without stopping and soon reach Shor.

I realize now Bitchen is practically a stone's throw away and it's half past 3 in the afternoon, so we have plenty of time. We step into Gorn's shop. That often grumpy man is unusually happy. It would appear that the soldiers' taking over the fortress between here and Bitchen has been a real blessing for Shor. They now get a lot of business from travelers and the city people. Indeed, Gorn has enough money to buy all my excess wares. We are both very pleased.

The blacksmith Filnjar is also joyful and thanks me for arranging the peace. Then we stop for a minute to talk to a group of miners including Sylgja, and then we run to Bitchen.

The old Khajiit trader Dro'marash outside the city gate informs me that people have been reporting a few skirmishes here and there, but by and large the power transfer has been peaceful. Let's hope its rollback will be as smooth. Although, on second thought, there is no reason why the imps couldn't remain here even when we restore Jarl Laila to power. I can't remember if I've told you, but even though The Rift was technically stork territory, Laila wasn't exactly a fan of Ulfric. It's just that when you've got the stork headquarters practically at your doorstep, it's not easy to remain loyal to the Empire. But Laila always made it very clear that the interests of her people take precedence over everything else in the world.

It'll be a lot more difficult in Morpork, but I hope the storks now stationed there will not want to serve a gang of murderers and extortionists – especially so after I tell them about the rumors that the Silver-Bloods have actually organized forn attacks in order to scare people and thereby undermine Jarl Igmund's authority.

That's what goes through my head as me and my followers step in through the city gate greeted enthusiastically by the guard on duty, and walk towards the inn and the marketplace. The sky is partially cloudy, but there is no rain. The streets are strangely empty.

I greet my friends the market traders Marise, Madesi and Brand-Shei, but I won't stay for a longer conversation, because I want to take a look inside the palace first, alone. On my way there, I'm rather astonished to see Nivenor, the bored wife of the rich man Bolli stumble on the street very drunk.

Everything looks normal in the palace. That Black-Briar trash is acting as if she was actually a jarl. Maul is standing at his post, keeping an eye on everything and everyone. He greets me with a surprisingly warm smile and asks where Lydia is. I inform him we have some things to do, but she'll be with him tonight, I promise.

The Imperial guards inside keep serious faces in front of Maven and Maul, but the ones outside make no secret of their admiration for me the Dragonborn. I am most pleased. I'm getting increasingly optimistic about my tonight's mission. I'll have Lydia go and lure Maul away from the palace after the so-called jarl has gone to sleep, and the guards look like they will make no difficulties.

Still, killing Maven and her henchmen is not everything. The city needs to be administered after that. Jarl Laila is unlikely to return until there is an agreement as to whose soldiers will be keeping order in The Rift, so for some time they will have to do without a jarl here. Besides, Laila is clearly too soft and idealistic to be allowed to rule without competent guidance.

Therefore I've come up with an idea of establishing a sort of citizen council consisting of five people. I figure that is large enough so that no one can force his will upon the others, and yet small enough to be able to actually make decisions without getting lost in endless debates. Me and my followers have thoroughly discussed many candidates and ended up with Mjoll, Madesi, Brand-Shei, Maul and Bolli. Mjoll is a profoundly honest woman eager to establish law and order in the city. She hates the Thieves' Guild and will have a tough time sitting at the same table with Maul, but we need the Thieves' Guild's support for the time being and we have strong influence on Maul through Lydia. Madesi and Brand-Shei are respectable traders and my unquestionable allies. Bolli is not too smart, but he's wealthy and one of the most important entrepreneurs in the city. This council, even though its composition may change over time, should remain working permanently to watch over Laila and keep her from being manipulated by another Anuriel. There's no way of knowing in advance how this previously unheard of form of government will work, but obviously things can't go on in The Rift the way they used to.

Now, quite frankly, there is one rather delicate problem. I've been unsure if ought to tell you about it at all, but I'll tell now. We need Lydia to keep Maul away from the palace, but unfortunately she is having her period. She assures me it's all right – she'll keep her panties on and take care of Maul with her mouth. He's a big boy, he knows women have menstruations. I am skeptical about any man wanting to be with a woman on the rag, but we've discussed it back and forth in recent days and Lydia is confident she can pull it off. Well, she knows Maul a lot better than I do.

Between now and bedtime, what I need to do is to actually tell the prospective members of the government about my plans. However, I can well imagine Maven might have agents lurking around among people. I can't risk them reporting to her that I might be up to something suspicious. That's why I walk casually from person to person, making conversation the way I always do.

I find an opportunity to talk to Mjoll out of anyone else's earshot. I tell her I'm going to entrust her with a role in the city government after ousting Maven which will happen tonight. I tell her I have an official order for Maven's arrest and beseech her not to say a word to anyone and, for that matter, not to walk around looking happy. She'd better go home with her boyfriend and figure out a way to while away the hours until I send for her.

When it's about closing time at the marketplace, I bring Madesi to my house. Him being my boyfriend, that can impossibly make anyone suspicious. Then I tell him all about my plan and ask him if he would do me this favor of helping to manage the city at least for some time. I know he's not a politician (and, quite frankly, not a dominant personality, but I won't say that to his face), but I've seen he's intelligent and really good with people and he's the only one whom I can unconditionally trust. I tell him I can even compensate him for his loss of business.

Madesi says it won't be necessary and he'll help me all right, but can we continue talking in bed?

Oh... Sure. I hadn't thought about that. Silly me.

When Madesi has gotten more urgent matters off his... well, you know what I'm talking about, I ask him if he thinks Brand-Shei would also agree to participate in the citizen council I've conceived. Madesi thinks he would and he would be trustworthy too, but the people might dislike it if there was too much alien influence. I tell him that's why I'm including Maul and Bolli, so that three members out of five will be Nords. Madesi still thinks I might consider someone like Haelga, even though he personally would feel better to have his friend and colleague Brand-Shei for moral support.

Haelga! Now that's a good idea, because a woman with her lifestyle is bound to know many people's intimate secrets that might help keep them in line when necessary. However, her loyalties are entirely uncertain, as well as her interest in this kind of work. Well, there are many more subtle points worth considering, but I guess I'd better not bore you any more with all that politics.

Madesi and I leave the house well before midnight, so Lydia will be able to use it with Maul a little later. I stroll to the orphanage and talk a little with Constance. Then I return to the market square and chat with the streetwalker Lavinia until I realize she's actually working now and my presence might discourage men from approaching her, so I walk on. I meet up with Jenassa and Jordis and we examine the back alleys we've never ventured into so far. But for the patrolling guards, they look ideal places for robbing people careless enough to go there alone.

At quarter to 3 at night, we enter the palace. Maul is gone by now, of course. I show the guards General Tullius's order for the Black-Briar family's arrest. I learn that several of the imp guards are actually locals and know only too well what kind of a person Maven is. Far from making any trouble, they are eager to assist me, but I order them to stay downstairs and make sure everything is quiet. We don't want the court wizard Wylandriah to be disturbed in her sleep. That gets a grin out of them.

The operation goes like clockwork. After the guards have explained us the layout of the sleeping quarters, me and my two followers sneak up the stairs to Maven's bedroom. She is sleeping on a large bed with her back towards us. I walk up to her and stick a dagger into her back several times. It's a real shame to kill that snake instantly and painlessly, but I don't want to risk Wylandriah hearing anything and possibly deciding to defend her new boss. Maybe I'll be able to satisfy my sadistic urges by helping to interrogate Anuriel. And maybe I ought to learn to be more compassionate and merciful. And maybe I shouldn't be gabbing with you in my head while I have an extremely important job to do.

When we enter Hemming Black-Briar's bedroom, he turns himself restlessly in his sleep and moans, but a couple of seconds later, he lies quietly in a pool of blood.

I go and tell the guards the criminals lost their lives while resisting arrest, and their bodies are to be brought to the temple for the funeral rites in the morning. The girls and I, we hurry to the Black-Briar Mansion. I use the key taken from Maven's corpse and rush into Ingun Black-Briar's bedroom. To my disappointment, she is not there:

Maybe now that her mother lives in the jarl's palace, Ingun has chosen to move to the luxurious bedroom upstairs?

No, she's not there either. We search the whole house. It's empty. I wonder if Ingun sensed the danger somehow or she simply got too absorbed in her experiments at Elgrim's alchemy shop. We go to the shop where I very cautiously try the doorknob. The door is locked and the lights inside seem to be off. I'm reluctant to break in and potentially create undue scare. It's unlikely Ingun will sleep here anyway. We'd better return to the Black-Briar Manor.

I hope very much Lydia will be able to keep Maul busy until the morning, so he won't learn the news too soon and get stupid ideas. I had planned on staying at the inn which is even free tonight because it's a traditional holiday called Hearts' Day on which the good people of Skyrim apparently meet with their lovers and do things never talked about afterwards. However, with Ingun still at large (possibly in connection with this very holiday, in which case we have really no chance of guessing where she might be), we'd better spend the night in her house.

Apart from that, the inn may be uncomfortably crowded tonight. So I decide I'll sleep in the big bedroom upstairs and Jenassa and Jordis will take turns keeping guard just inside the entrance while the other one can use the other half of the bed.



next awakening






return to the table of contents

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (181) Better Tie Them Up

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-02-15 07:48
Calixto's House of Curiosities, Windhelm, Eastmarch, Skyrim

Is she hoping that Ulfric will walk past? I mean, even next to the forge, it can't be that warm.

I ask all the traders in Windhelm about the Staff of Magnus one more time. None of them has heard anything about it. Then we leave for Solitud.

The most convenient way to Solitud goes via Dånstar. More precisely, one could turn away from the highway before Dånstar and head for Morthal. However, I think we'll drop by Dånstar because I have a couple of deliveries to make and it'll be only a short detour.

At the present moment, though, Dånstar is still a long way away. We have just run past Anga's Mill and now we can see a frost dragon attacking someone. He keeps floating in the air in one place until we get to a good shooting position and grab our bows. As if sensing it, he begins to fly back and forth.

We waste great many arrows, but kill him finally.

This hare isn't afraid of us. Only when I bend closer to caress it does it decide to run away after all.

Then we run to Dånstar with brief stops in Nightgate Inn and Laintar Dale.

Dånstar is nice as always.

Ahkari's caravan has already arrived. Yes, Lydia, we'll be a couple of hours, don't worry.

She runs off to find her boyfriend. I bring the alchemist Frida the enchanted ring I found for her, and the blacksmith Rustleif the book he wanted for his wife.

I think we'll be able to reach Dragonbridge of even Solitud tonight. Tomorrow morning, I'll consult with Sybille and then I'll negotiate with the jarl and the thanes and then we'll summon General Tullius to the palace. (The jarl is formally higher-ranking than he.) Yeah, and we'd better not just run past Morthal but drop in and have a little chat with the new jarl Sorli, just to sound out her mood.

Before we can leave, though, we have to help kill a troll who is attacking people near the inn. My followers would have probably managed by themselves, but I rush to their help and actually fire the fatal shot. Unfortunately, the troll has already killed one town guard. How a troll got so confused that he ran deep into a human settlement, I can't imagine.

Now we can leave.

The scenery along the Dånstar–Dragonbridge highway looks really beautiful under the rays of the setting sun.

Between Stonehills and Morthal is a battle going on between imps and storks. Just like the storks in The Rift, the imps of Hjaalmarch seem to be reluctant to abide by the peace treaty. I'm beginning to doubt if my plan of bringing about actual peace is even realistic. What if there's already so much hatred against the other side that Talos worship has become a side issue?

At least the town of Morthal is peaceful. Sorli has already taken over. She confirms that my position as a thane is unaffected by the political change. The negotiation hall in High Hrothgar may have been full of bitterness, but here on the ground I'm a hero.

Running through Dragonbridge without stopping, we reach Solitud when it's not quite dark yet. In front of the Winking Skeever inn, I stop to ask the old drunkard Octieve what's the mood in the city like. He says everything in Solitud is normal, but he has gambled himself into a large debt with Irnskar, Thane Bryling's husband.

I take pity on the old man, because he's the father of my friend the market trader Evette. So I tell him I'll try to talk to Irnskar. Walking towards the palace, I realize I'm not at all sure I will. I need Bryling's support while Octieve is just a useless bum.

There are many people on the streets. I make conversation with one and another, but nothing unusual seems to be going on and no one looks alarmed or anything.

In the palace, I find Jarl Elisif in the company of three people – her bodyguard Bolgeir, Sybille and Falk. They all greet me warmly. I instruct my followers to make themselves comfortable and keep an eye on everything while I ask Sybille to accompany me to her quarters.

Sybille agrees with my plan as well as with my assessment of the Empire's stance. She has no doubt that they'll grab an opportunity to get even with the Aldmeri Dominion. I learn that there is indeed severe inter-factional rivalry in Imperial City, but it's highly unlikely that anyone would sabotage war effort against the Dominion. After all, each clique views our Empire as their (potential) property, so they wouldn't risk ruining it. Besides, regardless of the power struggle, they all hope to enlarge their own feudal domains in a successful war. In short, there is every chance that all big families will rather fight the elves than each other.

I ask Sybille who is the thalmor spy in the palace. He says Falk is an informant of the thalmors, but he's not really on their side. He just exchanges information secretly with Elenwen in order to hear things from her that would help him strengthen his own position. He won't cause any trouble, once we make a move against the thalmors. The real thalmor spy, according to Sybille, is Una, one of the maids, but she hasn't really any access to big secrets. She does actively report about the comings and goings in the palace, though.

I vaguely remember I saw Una on the main square on my way here. If she wanted to be a proper spy, she ought to have followed me discreetly, trying to find out at least whom I would be talking to. I mean, my going to the palace with all my followers ought to seem to her conspicuous enough to be observed and reported.

Sybille and I go downstairs together. Sure enough, Una is just coming in. And she has guilt on her face like a dog who has made a mess.

I inform her she's to go with Sybille, and if she won't become difficult, she has a good chance to get out of this alive. She's absolutely not to talk to anyone under any circumstances.

I now go to sound out Bryling and Erikur. Both should be at their homes which are between the palace and my house.

Thane Bryling's house looks rather unimpressive, considering her high status. An indentured  (seriously?) servant informs me Irnskar is already sleeping. I wasn't going to bother him this time anyway. I tell the servant to take me to Bryling.

Bryling gives full support to my plan. I ask her to drop by the palace in a little while.

Thane Erikur is very haughty. He makes no secret of disliking Jarl Elisif even more than previously, as well as holding me for a complete nothingness. So I make it look like I was just sent to him as an errand girl to ask him to come to the palace for an important meeting which General Tullius will also attend. Erikur rises no objections, just mumbles how the current administration of Haafingar can't get anything done without him.

Melaran, the High Elf who is Erikur's magical bodyguard, is also coming with us.

This suits me fine. We'll need to get rid of both of them anyway. Even though no friend of thalmors, Erikur holds himself for the smartest person in the city if not in the world, and therefore would be sure to bore us to death with his stupid ideas presented with supreme confidence. Therefore we need him out of the way. He has no influence anyway, just a lot of money and a planet-sized ego.

When Erikur walks up the stairs in the palace, Melaran remains, as always, in the waiting room downstairs as is the custom. I let Erikur walk on and return to Melaran with Jordis and Jenassa. We aim our bows at him and I tell him that he may be a better wizard than Sybille (I couldn't know if it's true, but he is convinced he is) but he would have no chance against three bows. We take him to a spare room on the ground floor where we tie, gag and blindfold him, and I leave Jenassa to guard him with the instruction to kill him without hesitation if he seems to try to cast a spell or to liberate himself.

The palace guards are making no difficulties. In fact, they look like they admire me boundlessly and are ready to carry out any command of mine.

I instruct them to make sure no one goes near that room and no one leaves the palace.

Then I hurry up the stairs to the throne room where I have Sybille detain Erikur magically in her own bedroom. Una has already been tied up in another room.

Now we're ready to send out a messenger (Lydia, in fact) to summon Tullius. While we're waiting for him, I remember that suspicious man always lurking on the street near my house. I ask Sybille if she knows about him. She says he's just a spy to the storks. Nothing to worry about. They let him operate freely, because it's better to have a spy you know about (and not very smart one at that) than capture him and have another one sent to the city you don't know about.

But what about Erikur? I suddenly remember I saw him at Elenwen's reception.

Sybille laughs and says Erikur keeps hanging around Tullius hoping it'll help him rise up the social ladder, but Tullius can see what a fool he is. He often asks Erikur's opinion about various palace affairs, and Erikur eagerly tells him everything. He imagines Tullius is discussing important matters with him while in reality Tullius simply uses him as a source of information.

Tullius arrives. He is extremely haughty and refuses to believe the Aldmeri Dominion has attacked Hammerfell. I pull out the letter I received, but then I remember it's magically protected. Tullius would only see a blank sheet. I ask Sybille if she can make it readable. She says she'll need time. Fine, she can keep it. I no longer need it anyway.

I continue to argue with Tullius. He isn't too impressed with all the Haafingar's leadership being on my side and his man Erikur eliminated. Neither does he believe I'll be able to kill Ulfric and get away alive, let alone bring the storks to reason. However, he says if I will indeed eliminate the Silver-Bloods and restore Jarl Igmund to power in The Reach (which he cares more about than the assassination of Ulfric), he is willing to move against the thalmors in Fort Masser together with me as long as the storks refrain from hostilities. His skepticism about all the above notwithstanding, Tullius fully agrees that the capture of that fortress is necessary. The embassy is one thing, but the thalmors have absolutely no business keeping a secret stronghold on the Empire's territory.

Speaking of the Empire's policy, Tullius agrees that the sensible thing to do (if there really is war in Hammerfell which remains to be proven) would be to turn against the Dominion even if it were at the cost of leaving the whole of Skyrim under stork control. Tullius knows that the defeat in the Great War was more due to the power struggle within the Empire than the Dominion's military superiority, and that mistake will not be repeated. Nevertheless, he disagrees with my view that should the Empire still be too weakened by interfactional competition to be able to reach a decision, then Skyrim should break loose from the Empire. He says the Imperial Army will never cease to fight for law and order in Skyrim (his words, not mine).

As for my current plan, he obviously can't report to the capital and ask for orders. Therefore, he is not only entitled but obliged to use his own best judgment, which is: as soon as I bring him proof of 1) Ulfric's death and 2) the restoration of Imperial power in The Reach, and as long as there are no organized Stormcloak hostilities, he will surround the Thalmor Embassy to cut off all communications, and give me a unit of legionnaires for attacking Fort Masser.

Storming the embassy and escorting the personnel to the border is, however, out of the question. Tullius insists it's completely impossible without an order from Imperial City. We argue about it for some time, but I have to concede.

Would he give me a written order for Maven Black-Briar's arrest, with the understanding that I will kill her instead, ostensibly because she refuses to surrender? Yes, he would, providing I swear to carry on with the rest of my plan. Of course, Tullius would prefer to have Ulfric killed first, but he realizes I need to destroy the Black-Briars (who support the imps) first to convince the storks of my good faith. In any case, there is little doubt both sides would prefer the Reach–Rift exchange reversed. Logistically, the storks' position in The Reach is just as untenable as the imps' position in The Rift. Ulfric was stupid to demand The Reach in the first place. As for Hjaalmarch, Tullius agrees that Jarl Idgrod was mentally unstable. Therefore, as long as there'll be no attacks on Imperial positions, Jarl Sorli may remain in power, especially considering that she's a client of our Thane Bryling.

But what kind of proof of Ulfric's death should I bring? I won't have to cut his head off, I hope. Would a letter with Yrsarald's signature and Ulfric's seal, confirming peaceful intentions, be sufficient? Tullius agrees it would. He can recognize Yrsarald's handwriting. And he knows I'm Yrsarald's girlfriend. Naturally, he has his informers in Windhelm just like Ulfric has his in Solitud. Come to think of it, my closeness to Yrsarald is possibly the only reason why Tullius is even considering the possibility I may have a chance of succeeding.

Now the last thing – we need Una held in the prison, as well as Melaran, and he needs to be chained and gagged. Erikur will remain in the palace watched over by Sybille. We also need Solitud sealed so that no one can go in or out.

Tullius trashes my suggestions vigorously. A mage of Melaran's caliber can't be held securely. If we want to make sure he'll cause no trouble, we have to kill him. Also, he refuses to seal off the city before I've proven I'm actually able to eliminate Ulfric and bring about the peace with the storks – of which Tullius, as already pointed out, is by no means sure. When I keep arguing, he insists that sealing the city now would make the thalmors prematurely suspicious.

I give in when Sybille says it's indeed too dangerous to let Melaran live, and that she'll be keeping a magical eye on the traffic in and out of Solitud. I realize this is the best deal I can get and I'm growing tired anyway.

Tullius tells me to come with him to the castle where he can give me a signed and sealed arrest order on official notepaper the guards in Bitchen will acknowledge.

We go downstairs where we put Melaran to death. Lydia brings Una, and we all walk to the fortress with Tullius. None of us says a word while we're on the street. I go personally to find Hadvar and ask him to make sure Una will be held without an opportunity to see anyone except absolutely trustworthy guards. He says he's going to be transferred to Riverwood permanently and will leave the city sometime next week, but he'll make sure Una will be well guarded.

I know I ought to kill her too, but I don't have the heart. I just find a moment to whisper to her that if she gets caught talking to anyone in the prison, her tongue will be cut off. She's shaking all over as Hadvar is taking her downstairs.

After I've thanked Tullius for Maven's arrest order, I won't fail to mention that should he betray us, I'll hand him to Sybille. He practically laughs in my face saying he's not afraid of death. I say: "No, you won't die. You'll be kept alive and she'll drink your blood every now and then. The technical terms for that, if I'm not mistaken, is "human cattle"."

That gets him serious. But then he replies: "It doesn't really matter. I don't believe you're going to survive this anyway."

I decide to leave it at that. I return with my followers to our house to get some sleep. Even though today's achievements leave a little to be desired, at least my time planning has been flawless.



next awakening






return to the table of contents

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (178) Perplexion Unending

———————————————
SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-02-12 04:45
Forgotten Ruins, The Reach, Skyrim


The hour is too early for traveling to Dushnikh Yal, so we take a look around while we're here.

From the place where we slept, a short passage leads to a large hall that has some kind of an altar in front of a big hole in the floor. In front of the altar stands a woman in a light armor and a funny hat.

As we approach, she turns to face us, pulls a sword and demands to know who we are. I tell her she shouldn't be so hostile when she needs help finding her brother. Just a shot in the dark, but she is indeed Cassia. She begs us to jump into that hole and find her brother. I step carefully to its edge and look down into a well whose bottom can't be seen. Cassia informs me they came here hoping to find some hidden treasure and her brother jumped down and hasn't returned and she is awfully worried.

Why doesn't she go looking for him herself, I wonder.

Because he made her promise to wait here for him no matter what, and she always keeps her promises, she says.

This is getting too ridiculous. I'm about to turn away when Cassia shows me a journal by someone called Metellus. It says that he has translated the inscription above this well. Inscription? Right, there's an inscription in that ancient dwemer or dragon language on the wall right behind the big hole. It supposedly says this is the entrance to an ancient Dwemer city where those who seek refuge will find peace and those who seek money will find riches beyond imagining.

The journal is from the year 190. That's 12 years ago.

Is the world going crazy? If you saw a large hole in Dwemer ruins, deep beyond imagining, would you jump into it in the hope that the fall will not kill you and you will find great riches and will somehow be able to come back to actually use them in the world of people? That's what Metellus apparently did, and so did the brother of Cassia. What's his name anyway? Well, never mind that. We'd better leave before we go crazy too.

We have a wash outside in the river. I go into the water last. Lydia asks me if this is the right time to tell me they did not keep away from Zeugini yesterday when I ordered them to.

Well, yes, with me squatting naked in the river, bleeding down there, I guess this is really the best possible moment for me to not wring her neck. So, let's hear it.

Lydia informs me they found out Zeugini has a sweetheart back in Elsweyr and he traveled to Skyrim with Fortune to earn money and marry her in due time. He is technically a guard, but he helps out with other work as well, because there aren't many attacks to thwart while they're in the city.

I guess there's the reason why Hroki is so incensed about him. The poor thing doesn't seem to have a chance. Great job, girls, but now get away from here. I'll be with you in a few minutes.

We travel to Dushnikh Yal where I give to Chief Burguk the magical gloves called The Forgemaster's Fingers which I no longer need, and he vows eternal friendship. Good.

The girls and I get some Heavy Armor  training, just in case I should decide to start using heavy armor someday.

Leaving the village, we run north until we reach the Morpork–Hviterun highway, and then east towards Granite Hall.

I hope I haven't been too bad since the last time we were here.

I hesitate a little whether or not I want to stop in Granite Hall. Then I decide not to. I have nothing to sell and I can't have sex, so we'd better just keep running towards Hviterun.

We arrive in the city at noon without any incidents. This time, we won't hang about in the western suburb. We enter the city proper and pay a quick visit to Adrianne and Ulfberth's shop that, as you may remember, is just inside the main gate. Then we go to the nearest inn, The Drunken Huntsman. I want to ask Elrindir if anything unusual has happened in the meantime. There are no interesting rumors, but we witness an altercation between Elrindir and his brother Anoriath. Something about hunting trips and old Bosmer ways. I leave my girls to help out or maybe just offer unwanted advice, while I hurry to The Bannered Mare.

Saadia is angry at first that I kept her waiting for so long. Now I believe she used to be a noblewoman like she has told me. But then she apologizes and gives me my reward.

I quickly say hello to Ysolda and Carlotta and Lucia and Mila. After a brief visit to the palace to make sure everything is more or less all right, me and my followers exit by the eastern gate and run towards Riverwood. I think the southern route to Ivarsted is more convenient. Now that there's war in Hammerfell, we mustn't keep the negotiating parties waiting. I hope they will have arrived by now.

The weather is very beautiful.

After resting briefly in Riverwood, we run straight to the Falkreath Stormcloak Camp without stopping. The guys at the camp inform us it's slaughter as usual in the mountain pass east from here. Not for long anymore, I hope.

The rays of the sun are turning orangeish. When we're through the mountain pass, a heavy rain suddenly begins.

This picture shows a lightning just short of Ivarsted:

We run through Ivarsted without even stopping and then up Mount Nexus accompanied by lightnings every few minutes.

And then we're suddenly in an almost blinding snowstorm. High Hrothgar is right there and we can see two people walking ahead of us. It's Rudelphine and Esbern! What are they doing here? I thought they despised the Gaybores.

They stop just before entering and wait for us to catch up. Rudelphine tells me I have to kill Paarthurnax. I don't quite get it all with that awful wind whistling around us, but it would seem he was fighting alongside Alduin in that ancient war of dragons against humans, so he deserves to die. Rudelphine says unless I kill Paarthurnax, she and Esbern won't help me anymore. I shrug and reach for the door. The last thing I hear before I step over the threshold is "If you're not with us, you're against us."

I can't believe the cheek of that little bitch. She's running for her life, chased by the thalmors, all alone except for an old man who could drop dead any moment, and she has the nerve to threaten me that she won't help me. What kind of help could I possible need from her, someone who has her hands full finding stones to crawl under?

They already made me kill Alduin who had saved my life. There's no way I'll turn against Paarthurnax. Apart from my followers, he's probably my most reliable friend in the world, while Rudelphine is so unimportant and pathetic I don't even feel the wish to give her another whipping to remind her of her place. She's out of my thoughts the moment I step up to Arngeir who is waiting for me.

Have you really so little faith in your stones of peace's ability to exercise positive influence on those men of violence?

He tells me to go to the meeting room, apparently the same I got a brief glimpse of on one of my past visits here. I tell my girls to have a rest and stay out of sight. They wish me luck. Yeah, better wish me patience.

I turn to go, but then I notice a heated dispute behind me. Rudelphine and Esbern insist they be allowed to participate in the peace talks.

Arngeir tries to explain them that they are, firstly, not invited, and, secondly, not welcome in this building to start with. Now Rudelphine says something truly shocking: "We were the ones that put the Dragonborn to this path. If it were up to you, she would sit dreaming on this mountain doing nothing." Esbern sees that this is going too far and steps in. He succeeds in convincing Arngeir to let them join the negotiations – in a similar way to how Rudelphine used to intermediate between Esbern and me in the past. I am, however, far from being able to enjoy the irony, because I am seething. Rudelphine has insulted me unlike anyone ever has. They have put me onto this path?? She talked as if it was self-evident that I didn't have a mind of my own, that I could only have done either what the Blades told me to do or what the Gaybores told me to do. Essentially, Rudelphine was denying my personhood. She revealed that she doesn't consider me a human being, just an unthinking marionette whom either she would control or someone else.

She is leaving me no choice. The next time I catch her, I'll whip her to death. I'll take my time, making absolutely sure she understands what kind of an abomination she is. I'll explain to her how monstrous her attitude towards me is, I'll let her repeat it many times to make sure she understands it. I'll make sure she regrets and repents and begs forgiveness, and then I'll slowly and painfully extinguish her sorry life.

But right now I really need to focus on more urgent matters at hand. The fate of Skyrim is at stake and that's far more important than my hurt feelings.

I step into the meeting hall and am somewhat surprised at the sight. Now, I really apologize for this chapter turning out much longer than you've been used to so far, but the next four hours are of such crucial importance that I'll have to make sure you understand what is happening and what implications it'll have for the future of this country and myself.

The first person I see is Elenwen, the thalmor ambassador. She recognizes me from the party at the embassy.

I nod modestly. At that reception two months ago, I got very valuable information and made Elenwen look like a fool, so I can afford to be civil with her. No need to humiliate her further.

The next one is Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun. The sight of him puts me immediately at ease. He has managed to keep his domain an island of peace and order throughout this war. That's a sign of a truly wise ruler.

General Tullius is not a man of many words. He's a soldier, clear and specific. Probably not the kind of man a woman would be very happy with, but certainly one you can trust with the defense of your city, or country. He looks like made of metal. I wouldn't risk engaging him in a fistfight. For that matter, I'm not entirely sure an axe could cut through his neck.

Next to him stands someone I certainly wasn't expecting here – Jarl Elisif of Haafingar. She says she had to come because she's the acting High Queen of Skyrim. Of course.

Elisif makes no secret of how much it infuriates her to be in the presence of the man who killed her husband. I think the realization I'm not the most uncomfortable one in this room makes me feel more responsible and reasonable.

The final member of Tullius's retinue is Legate Rikke, her second-in-command if I'm not greatly mistaken. She couldn't be more inappropriately dressed. Well, strictly speaking, she could, but... okay, you get the idea.

If this is Tullius's secret weapon, it's bound to fail.

Ulfric has only taken his trusted advisor Galmar. But those two are real bears of men and no less impressive between them than the other side combined.

If Tullius is made of metal, then Galmar is made of stone the world's biggest hammer can't break.

Finally, between the Stormcloaks and Arngeir sit Rudelphine and Esbern as neutral observers and dragon experts. Because dragons still undeniably pose a serious threat to reckon with.

And Esbern is talking to me!

I am to sit opposite Arngeir at the far end of the oblong table, with Rikke to my left and Galmar to my right. However, Galmar won't sit down right away. Neither would Ulfric. They are taking issue with Elenwen being present. Tullius's insistence that he is a party of these negotiations and can take with him whomever he wants to has no effect on Ulfric and Galmar whatsoever. Finally I succeed in convincing them that Tullius's hands were tied. None of us actually likes the thalmors. Elenwen is smart enough to keep her mouth shut now as well as until the end of the negotiations.

I am very worried. What kind of an agreement can we reach with such babies?

After Ulfric and Galmar have finally taken their seats, Arngeir invites the two parties to come up with proposals. Considering that Tullius just received a concession from Ulfric, I am not surprised that the latter immediately comes up with a demand – the Imperials are to surrender to him The Reach. Tullius makes a few faces, but then gives in. However, he correctly points out that the Stormcloaks had virtually no chance to ever conquer The Reach, and therefore, the Imperials must get Winterhold in return. Here I step in. I won't have anyone touch Winterhold. When the thalmor threat has been eliminated for good, and proper peace restored, Jarl Balgruuf and Jarl Korir are to be the backbone of the new Skyrim. I won't reveal that plan in this madhouse, obviously, but I categorically protest againts any change in Winterhold's status.

Tullius says it has to be The Rift, then.

Now we're talking. Imp-controlled The Rift at Ulfric's doorstep is pretty much equivalent to the stork-controlled The Reach at Tullius's doorstep. After some whinging, Ulfric has to agree that this trade makes sense. However, he also demands Hjaalmarch.

Here the argument gets so heated that Ulfric stands up again and threatens to leave.

It's Esbern who succeeds in convincing him that there are still so many dragons flying around that going on with the war would condemn the country to utter destruction. Maybe Ulfric is convinced, maybe he was only bluffing to start with, at any rate he and Tullius agree to let me decide whether Hjaalmarch should be turned over to the storks or not.

Now, my primary concern is the safety of Whiterun which is a neutral territory – nominally loyal to the Empire but in fact fully tolerating Talos worship and closed to the thalmors. Hjaalmarch is to our northwest, between Haafingar and Whiterun. If it belonged to the storks, the imps couldn't possibly attack us. The storks wouldn't attack us because they would be overstretched as it was while the Empire could always bring in more troops.

That's why I decide the storks will get Hjaalmarch.

Now both sides are satisfied, albeit grumpy.

Arngeir stands up to announce the terms of the peace treaty:

"The Reach will be handed over to Ulfric's forces. Jarl Igmund will step down and Thongvar Silver-Blood will become the Jarl of Markarth."

I suppress a cry of horror. I had never agreed to the jarlship going to that gang of bandits! Then again, I wasn't involved in the handing over of The Reach to begin with.

But it gets worse. The handover of The Rift is accompanied by Jarl Laila stepping down and being replaced by... Maven Black-Briar!!!

I'm aghast. I can't stress enough how betrayed I feel. No one ever gave the tiniest hint that the territories to take hands would be administered by depraved criminals! Had I even guessed something like that... yeah, I don't know what I could have done differently. But my head wants to explode from the unspeakable thought that any sane human being could come up with an idea that someone as evil as Maven Black-Briar could even fleetingly be considered for the post of a jarl. I slouch in my chair, utterly devastated. At least Hjaalmarch wins from the trade. The madwoman Idgrod is to be replaced by Sorli from Stonehills. I'm quite surprised to learn that she carries so much weight.

Overall this peace conference has been a major cock-up on my part. I have to muster all my self-control to keep a halfway civil face when the high guests leave and I exchange a few final words with most of them.

Jarl Balgruuf scolds me for giving The Reach to the storks, as if it had been my idea. I feel very hurt that even he is against me.

Rudelphine blabs something about dragons. I tell her to get the fuck away from me, and I guess I must look really furious, because she actually shuts her mouth.

Legate Rikke is convinced the truce will not last. I can't disagree – what with both sides holding some very easily siegeable positions. Geographically speaking, the new borders are sheer madness.

Jarl Elisif thanks me for achieving at least some kind of a peace, but she is convinced that Ulfric is not to be trusted for one second. At least her warm attitude towards me makes me feel less a dismal failure.

Tullius says it could have been worse. I realize he is able to keep his calm because he has no ambitions of his own. He's a straightforward man unconditionally loyal to the Empire and will obey whatever orders he'll be given.

What suprises me the most is Ambassador Elenwen's calm reaction:

I've heard stories of how thalmor patrols arrest people for mere expressions of doubt in their religious doctrines. How can it be that the Aldmeri ambassador is satisfied with a treaty that leaves about a half of Skyrim under the control of Talos-worshippers? At any rate, I deeply regret I failed to send her away when I had the chance. Then she would have had to spend time and resources to find out about the negotiations, but now she was able to witness personally the utter lack of goodwill between the participants. Undoubtedly she'll report promptly to the Aldmeri government how Skyrim is eating itself up.

And finally, Esbern tells me I'm being really mean to Rudelphine and that is irresponsible at the time there are still dragons flying around. I turn away from him angrily. It was she who made herself my enemy by taking into her head to kill Paarthurnax. It's outrageous. He may have been the humankind's enemy hundreds or thousands of years ago, but that's no longer the case. The dragons that are still flying around we can handle. No new ones will be woken up, because Alduin is dead, and that's thanks to Paarthurnax. Rudelphine did nothing but cut my finger and Esbern just came up with a vague idea. Paarthurnax was the one who told me what to actually do.

All right, I'll shut up now. I've made my point, I guess, and it's past 2 in the night and I desperately need some sleep – provided I'll be able to get some with the horrible realization in my head that if I destroy the Black-Briar mafia and the Silver-Blood mafia, then both sides will interpret it as a breach of word from the enemy and the peace will end before it has really started. And if I leave the people of two holds under the tyranny of bandits, how can I ever look at myself in the mirror knowing that my actions caused all that suffering?

I join my followers in the High Hrothgar sleeping quarters. Looks like they have been too excited to go to sleep, but I pretend I'm too sleepy to talk.



next awakening






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