Always Lost, Always Hopeful (262) To Great Lengths

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
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previous day 






4-202-05-08 05:30
Vlindrel Hall, Markarth, The Reach, Skyrim


We hug Jenassa goodbye and head east, towards Granite Hall, Hviterun and Windhelm. It's raining moderately, but the scenery is quite beautiful.

At the Shrine of Dibella, I tell my followers to run ahead to Granite Hall. I don't have anything really important to remember anymore, but I feel like sitting here for an hour or two. The rain doesn't bother me at all this morning. On the contrary, it feels kind of cooling and refreshing.

While I absent-mindedly eye all those ritual objects and the offerings passersby have left on the altar, something I've been thinking about for some time now becomes crystal clear to me.

I'm going to make up with Lorm.

I have been thinking I would write him a letter when I leave for High Rock. I want to apologize to him for having ruined our relationship. I mean, I still believe I did everything right. Lorm and I didn't really have a future whereas I have excellent prospects with Yrsarald. The only mistake I made with Lorm was to hire him as my follower. Other than that, I wouldn't do anything differently. Nevertheless, it breaks my heart to imagine how Lorm must be feeling. The remorse has been eating me up, especially since his birthday that was seven days ago. I know men don't care all that much about birthdays, but I've been fighting back tears much of the time during the last days. I have to do something to make Lorm feel better. In fact, I realize now that I'm no longer afraid of being alone with him. I can trust him not to abuse me. Whether or not he still wants me is not at all clear, but I have to at least find out. Clear the air – is that the right expression?

Well, to cut the long story short, I'm going to hire Lorm as my third follower on the Hammerfell trip. Should he get killed, I won't be too sad. It'll be a lesser evil than going on like this.

We'll travel to Windhelm as planned where I'm going to let Jordis go and hire that sellsword Stenvar at the inn, and then we'll return to Aurora. I'm planning on approaching one of the women –Anja the shopkeeper or Skarla the alchemist or Ursula the blacksmith or maybe even Kaldred the witch, and we'll discuss how to approach Lorm.

I feel much better, having made up my mind. The rain has ceased, too.

I run to Granite Hall where I find my followers enjoying the sights at one of the highest spots. I ask Vorstag to walk around and then I tell the girls about my plan. Jenassa the Mature and Sensible is not with us today, and Lydia and Jordis are utterly unable to talk me out of it. I think Lydia is not even seriously trying.

This important matter taken care of, we go shopping. I discover that the bow Zephyr is on sale, the one I found in Arkngthamz and sold a long time ago when I found myself a better one.

I buy it back, just out of nostalgia. It reminds me of Katria and it looks cool and I can easily afford it by now.

A servant approaches me and says I'm asked to pay a visit to Thane Hrol.

The thane informs me that as a sign of appreciation for my remarkable services to the people of The Reach, he gives me a house in this town as a present.

Why, thank you.

The house is big and it has all the facilities one can think of, short of an iron mine of its own. And it's an appalling maze. Did I expect anything else in a city like Granite Hall, the girls ask me amusedly. To be honest, yes, I did. But never mind that. We should head for Windhelm now to get that second sellsword and then pass by Aurora on our way back towards the Gate to Hammerfell.

There's a sellsword looking for work in Dushnikh Yal, says Vorstag. (Dushnikh Yal is in the same direction as the Gate to Hammerfell.)

Really?
Yes, really. His name is Ghorbash. Vorstag talked to him just a few days ago when he was in Markarth accompanying the regular trade caravan from Dushnikh Yal. Unless something extraordinary has happened, he'll be in the village right now.
Now, this is excellent news! We won't have to travel all the way to Windhelm. We can go to Aurora now and Dushnikh Yal will be conveniently on our route to the Gate to Hammerfell. I even believe I vaguely remember Ghorbash. A really big guy, isn't he? Yes, confirms Vorstag. He's very strong and loyal, a great warrior to work with.

Awesome. We head for Aurora right now then.

I'm very happy to meet Ri'saad's caravan on the road.

I greet cordially his companions Ma'randru-jo, Atahbah and Khayla, and remind them they mustn't be found in possession of skooma, ever, or they'll be in extreme trouble.

Before reaching Northkeep, we run across a robbed horsecart with a dead Khajiit and a dead horse lying next to it, a gruesome reminder that this spectacular scenery can be dangerous. Indeed, we get attacked a little later too, but the bandits are no match to the four of us. In fact, this was a welcome opportunity to see what Vorstag is made of. You'll be glad to hear he seems skilful and reliable.

We spend an hour shopping in Northkeep and then run to Mixwater Mill where we won't stay for a chat, not with a man with us.

At a quarter past 2 we are on the outskirts of Aurora.

The witch Kaldred is not there. Sneaking about in the western part of the village, I see Hilfa the huntress, but I don't know her too well. So I approach Ursula who is working at her usual place next to her husband's shop.

I ask her if Lorm is in Aurora right now and does she have any idea what he thinks of me. Ursula says he should be, and the break-up with me was very hard on him. Apparently the women in the village know all about it and have discussed it back and forth. I have to admit it's a little embarrassing, but it saves me a lot of explaining. I ask if Ursula would go and tell Lorm that I'm sorry and I'd really like to make up with him but I'm afraid to approach him because I feel very guilty and I fear he's still angry.

Ursula is only too happy to drop everything and become a key participant in an amazing event such as this. I ask her not to make Lorm believe I want to spend the rest of my life with him or something. That's definitely not going to happen, but I want to apologize for having hurt his feelings, and we can certainly make love like we used to, and I would like him to be by my side on a difficult and dangerous mission. Ursula agrees that those things combined should certainly melt the ice in his heart in case he is still angry. He probably isn't, though. She knows that Lorm has been confessing to other men during their occasional drinking bouts that he has actually seen his mistakes and regrets having bossed me around in combat and planning situations.

Of course, Ursula knows she mustn't tell Lorm everything I said so directly, but rather suggest it subtly as her own impression of my state of mind and intentions.

She leaves and I remain with my heart fluttering like a girl getting ready for her very first date. This is quite awful. I tell my followers to get out of sight and I beg them to really go somewhere where they won't see or hear what's going to happen. I'll be safe enough with Ursula nearby.

As I had hoped, Ursula returns together with Lorm. Our reunion is very sentimental and Ursula is discreet enough to withdraw when I look at her meaningfully. Lorm and I more float then walk to his house oblivious of everything around us, and then he grabs me and lifts me onto his hard penis and takes me quite gently. (Yeah, we got naked before that, too.)

This went really well. I hire Lorm as my follower instead of Jordis. I make it very clear to Lorm that after we've returned from Hammerfell, I'm going to dismiss him again, because running with an all-female party is the kind of fun I just can't give up, but I'll be visiting him as often as I can. We agree upon the same rule I'm having with Gregor: with clothes on, I am the boss and with no clothes on, he is. And I make it clear that we can't make any plans for future, because I am going to return to High Rock for several months at the very least.

There is certain awkwardness between us, but that was only to be expected after all that's happened. Generally, our mutual understanding is a lot better now. We have learned from our mistakes.

But enough of the chatter. It's eight in the evening by now, but we can still easily reach Granite Hall or even Markarth tonight. Then we'll be able to travel to the Gate of Hammerfall the first thing tomorrow morning. Yeah, second thing, probably, with Lorm sharing my bed. But I don't think that is going to take too long.

Someone's birthday party has started in Northkeep. The central square is full of people. We politely decline their invitation to participate, and move on. We see a cute fox and a little later we're attacked by a large group of thalmor justiciars. It's a really exciting battle. The enemies move and hide well, attacking us time and again from unexpected angles, but they're in the range of my Sense of Smell  most of the time and we get them all eventually. They were carrying orders to kill me.

Soon we reach Granite Hall.

I decide going to Markarth is not worth the trouble. From here, the route to Dushnikh Yal will be a little longer and much less comfortable, but it's not that bad.

I wonder if Lorm has recovered enough during the past hours. Yes, he looks like he totally has. Before I can figure out what to do about Lydia and Vorstag, Lydia asks if I mind when they take a room at the inn. Why, go ahead! I'm only happy for you.

Some time after entering my house, I find myself envying Vorstag and Lydia – they are shown into their bedroom by the innkeeper rather that have to find it in this crazy labyrinth. When we end up in the kitchen for the third time, Lorm undresses me and takes me right there leaning against the kitchen table. From behind. In the butthole. Well, can't be helped. He's the man here.

Strangely enough, it doesn't hurt as much as usual. Afterwards, Lorm carries me to the bedroom. How he knows where it is is beyond me.

next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (187) Missing

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-02-22 07:46
Uthgerd's House, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


At 8 to 8, I step out of the door or my house and find my followers duly waiting for me on the street. A look into Lydia and Jordis's eyes confirms that Valdimar did pass the test. I won't need to ask anything.

I now officially hire Valdimar as my active follower and let Jenassa go. I understand she plans on resting in the city for a day or two and then she'll travel to Winterhold to be with Nelacar. To tell you the truth, I feel very sad. I feel kind of lost without Jenassa. Let's hope our Hammerfell "adventure" won't last too long.

Last night, I was so absorbed chatting with Lucia that I couldn't be bothered to tell you about the deal I made with Carlotta and Ysolda. The deal is I'm leaving all the gear that I don't need with them and they will get rid of it for me over time, getting a generous share of the proceeds. Carlotta is an established trader, small-scale as she may be, and Ysolda has connections to the Khajiit caravans, and I can completely trust both of them. Ysolda, by the way, is still having a relationship of sorts with the bard Mikael. He keeps sleeping around and she's unhappy about it, but she still can't help loving him. That, and I just got distracted from the topic. Sorry. I meant to say I'm fed up with carrying all that junk around and searching for traders who can afford to buy it.

You may be wondering what I need so much money for anyway. The answer is: when this is all over, I'm going to divide up three quarters of my entire capital between all my current and past followers who are still alive, to each proportionally to the time she has served me. For instance, if I were to return to High Rock right now, Lydia and Jenassa would get more than 900 thousand septims each, Jordis would get almost half a million and Valdimar would get a little more than 36 thousand.

Apart from which, I'm certain my family back in High Rock can benefit from my quarter of the loot and put it to good use. But enough of this now. We need to get going. We've got Hammerfell to save, and potentially Skyrim.

After a little chat with my and Ysolda's friend the Khajiit trader Ri'saad in the southwestern suburb (he is more than delighted to participate in my business scheme and will surely know better than to try to rip me off), we run westwards.

A little way before the Big Northkeep Intersection, I notice a road leading uphill into the mountain range north of Lake Ilinalta. I decide to check it out.

There is a cave called Bloated Man's Grotto. It's completely unknown to all of us. Lydia is quite surprised she has never heard of it even though she's from this region. Well, it turns out to be one of those scenic caves with spriggans guarding it, as well as many bears.

We can't avoid killing a couple of bears, after which I order a hasty retreat. A pity as it may be, we don't belong here.

I ask Valdimar to walk down to the main road and wait for us. I can't control my curiosity any longer.
"What did he do?" I ask as soon as Valdimar's out of earshot.
The girls look briefly at each other and Lydia begins to tell. "He already had a hard-on when we got naked. First he made us lick it together, each from her side. Then he had Jordis suck while he was fondling me, the breasts mostly, and after some time we switched, and after some time we switched again, and so on."
"And who was the one who got lucky?"
"Well," says Lydia, "I was quite happy with him sucking on my tit and squeezing my buttock."
"Yeah, I got his load in my mouth," says Jordis. "But I don't mind."
"I know you don't," says Lydia.
Jordis slaps her upper arm and goes on: "When I'm alone with a man, I really enjoy it. With all his ecstasy focused on me, so to speak. To swallow sperm while the man is fondling another – that is not so great."
"Well, those decisions shall be out of our hands from now on," I say.
"I know. The suspense is already killing me."
"Me too," says Lydia. "Shall we?"
"Wait, what about the morning?"
"He had me sideways," Lydia explains, "with Jordis cuddling up with him from behind."
"Right, I caressed him with my hand and made fucking movements against his bum. Some men like it."
"I know," confirms Lydia. "They get a kick out of the knowledge you haven't got anything down there you could stick into them, so you can bounce all you want."
"Precisely."
I stand up. "Right, enough of the chatting. Let's go. No, I just remembered something! Give me two minutes with Valdimar, will you?"

I return to Valdimar alone and say:
"What I told you yesterday about embarrassment and lewd remarks also includes something that happens to women once a month."
"Laura."
"What?"
"I'm not as dumb you maybe think I am."
I stop and look at him, slightly surprised. "Okay. Good to know." I wave to the girls to follow and we start running.

That's the path up to the grotto we ascended a quarter of an hour ago.

"We won't lie to you about having menstruation just to piss you off," I feel I have to explain Valdimar at the last moment before the girls have caught up with us, "but when we do, we don't want you to comment on it in any way."
"Fine with me. And I'll give my best to not make your life too sweet on the other days."
I gasp with surprise. "Okay." Looks like he really has it in him.

We run westwards, through both Northkeep intersections and past Fort Unguard. The weather is basically nice and everything is peaceful along the road with the exception of a couple of patrols diligently looking for any troublemakers. Soon we can see the farms outside Granite Hall under the partially cloudy sky.

We go briefly into the town, just to ask the people if anything unusual has happened recently. Nothing has. So we move on westwards, pray at the roadside shrine of Dibella and then run uphill to the south.
[series of 2 pictures you can click through; click on the first picture to make it big, then press the right arrow to see the next picture etc.; press  Esc to return to the text]

No road leads all the way to the Gate to Hammerfell, so finding a more or less direct path across the mountains is not very easy, but by half past 2 in the afternoon we're there.

Approximately ten meters from the gate stands a spriggan next to the corpses of an elk and a man. A fox is leisurely trotting away.

We washed ourselves with Spriggan Soap this morning (a precaution to keep at least the wild animals away while we might be heavily outnumbered by the enemies in Hammerfell), but this spriggan still attacks us, so we have no choice but to kill her. Seeing that, the fox returns and attacks us too. Normally, foxes don't attack humans, but evidently they come to the defense of spriggans, just like that elk did on that lake island near Dragonbridge a month ago.

"Now remember," I tell my followers, "our most important job on the other side of that gate is to stay alive. We're not going to actually fight this war. It's a job for the armies. We are here to evaluate the situation and bring information back to Skyrim. That'll be our second most important task. And only on the third place is the task of helping wherever we can. But we won't be there longer than absolutely necessary."

We go in. The weather gets sunny soon, even though some clouds remain in the sky. In the settlement of Dragonstar, there are five people this time. That includes Kartano whom we already know.

I ask him how to get in contact with the armed forces of Hammerfell. He replies there is no such thing.

I think I must have misheard. How is it possible that Hammerfell hasn't got an army?

Kartano explains that the government of Hammerfell broke down years ago. There's basically anarchy in the country. The Aldmeri Dominion controls the strategic points, but the large majority of the people live by their own rules as well as attack the Dominion forces at every opportunity. In fact, he tells us, they attack all foreigners, so we can expect hostility from everyone, High Elf and Redguard alike.

This is crazy. If there is no government, what did the Dominion attack? What's all the fuss about a new war? Who sent me the letter begging for help? And why are these five men in Dragonstar friendly towards us when the rest of the nation supposedly isn't?

Valdimar knows that the southern part of Hammerfell has been occupied by the Aldmeri Dominion ever since the Great War, but the central and northern part haven't. Probably the Dominion has decided to subdue the entire rebellious people of Hammerfell.

Whatever. Let's take a look around. We're not turning back just because one not very intelligent-looking dude tells us there's no point in us being here. Maybe Kartano has been misinformed. Maybe he is bullshitting us.

The other four men between the fortification walls don't tell us anything new. We exit by the gate. Beyond the patches of lush vegetation begins a region of steep sandy hills. Behind the second or third bend, we find ourselves facing at least ten enemies. In spite of our sneaking, they notice us and cast (mostly) fire magic at us. I take serious damage. What's worse, most of my arrows mysteriously miss the enemies who are perfectly visible and not moving much. Even those arrows that hit cause surprisingly little damage.

Those aren't soldiers, just a couple of wandering mages I've run into while trying to approach the main group from a different angle.

Busy enough healing myself and frantically shooting arrows at that black mass of enemies, I'm not getting around to keeping an eye on my followers. I soon realize it can't go on like this. I order retreat and we run all the way back to Dragonstar. As there seems to be only one gate, we take up positions where we can comfortably shoot at it. Strangely enough, we are not being pursued. I climb a hill near the defense wall, trying to take a look at the enemies over the wall, but the hill is not close enough to the wall. So I sneak out again, telling the others to follow cautiously and keep a decent distance from me. With a part of the enemies killed earlier, we now succeed in finishing off the rest.

However, I realize I can't expose my followers to this kind of danger. I just can't. I won't be able to fight efficiently with the worry about my followers' safety eating me up. Besides, we have no business taking on military units of this size in the first place. This is a task for a regular army, not a group of four adventurers.

Nevertheless, I want to take a little closer look. Ordering my followers to stay behind, I venture into that maze-like landscape of sandy hills.

I soon notice some village ruins – remains of several small wooden houses. There's another group of hostiles, mostly archers and footsoldiers this time.

The landscape is very uneven, which is why I can see only their heads most of the time. I have a clear view of a low hill maybe a hundred meters away. Down that hill is that village ruin. The enemies are not too keen on ascending the hill to engage me, so I sneak closer and shoot them dead a few at a time. I still can't understand why my arrows keep missing them so often. I have more than enough bow-shooting experience from a great variety of surroundings to be positive that this is not normal. It has to be some kind of magic that impedes bow shooting. However, thanks to the enemies' incomprehensible reluctance to come and charge at me all together, I eventually slaughter them little by little.

I loot the corpses and examine the ruined houses. There is nothing of interest, in particular nothing written. Among the killed hostiles are also a couple of Redguards, so apparently at least some of the locals are hostile to us – and possibly even allied with the Dominion forces.

A dragon?? That would really make my day!  :-(

I have my followers stand watch on top of the highest hill overlooking the wooden house ruins, just in case someone should turn up unexpectedly and sneak up behind me. I'm basically ready to leave this madhouse, but I want to explore just a little more. I go to a different direction, between the village ruin and the gate to Skyrim. I surprise a few thalmors from the first group who have gotten lost looking for us between those gigantic sanddunes. They must have been deployed around here not so long ago, because they seem unfamiliar with the terrain. To tell you the truth, I'd better not venture too far either, with those small steep hills all around me indistinguishable from each other and no map.

After a while, I see what looks like a small town at a distance.

There are even more enemies there. I shoot a couple and then realize I'd better not try to invade that place, especially at this hour. The sun will set soon and I don't want to even think about fighting that black-robed horror at night.

I retreat to where I left my followers and we waste no time running to the border crossing. Luckily these thalmors aren't pursuing us either.

That's the gate to Skyrim. On the left is the town of Dragonstar.

It's getting dark. Having crossed to Skyrim, we go a little way away from that dead fox and I look at my followers. What do we make of it all?

Guess we'd better go to Granite Hall before it gets completely dark, suggests Valdimar.

Good idea. An inn room will be a much better place for an evening discussion than a mountain slope in the middle of nowhere. Although in this case we'll have to postpone war counsel for tomorrow morning, because I'm going to be with my boyfriend Mojarik.

At any rate, I think I know why the thalmors were reluctant to pursue us and thus deprived us of any chances of ambush. It looks like they had been ordered to defend certain strategic locations and repel any attackers, but not to chase after every rebel showing himself and thereby, well, risk getting ambushed, and possibly losing their way in that maze of sandhills.

We reach the river in halfway decent moonlight, and the main road that leads east has street lanterns every now and then, so there is no inconvenience at all, apart from an Argonian moron who attacks us just outside Granite Hall. In the town, I tell my followers they're in home mode, and hurry to the guard barracks. Mojarik is there and we go and take a room at the inn.

Physically speaking, this man is so amazing. He touches a sensitive spot somewhere inside me (all right, all right, I know exactly where, I just can't describe it to you) so that I'm climaxing in no time, and I keep moaning in one orgasm after another. I think he's even better than Gregor, even though I understand it's probably just that we happened to choose a position where our anatomies fit each other perfectly.

So, while from the physiological point of view, this was as perfect as could possibly be, the strange thing is that when we lie there embracing each other in the afterglow, I suddenly realize I don't feel anything for that man. I can't explain how, but being pressed against Mojarik's body doesn't give me a feeling of protectedness. I long to spend the night in the other room with Valdimar and the girls, but of course I can't offend Mojarik's feelings like this. All I can do is avoid talking, so we can go to sleep as soon as possible.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (24) Good and Bad Disappointments

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
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previous day






4-201-09-09 04:39
Aurora Borealis Inn, Aurora, Falkreath, Skyrim


I get dressed quietly and exit on tiptoes. My followers can sleep as long as they want to, because we're not leaving before I've visited Selyse in Little Vivec, and I'm sure she's still sleeping.

I use the cover of darkness to bathe undisturbed. Then I just watch the lake and think and make some conversation with the village guards. Among other things, I ask them about their relations with the people of Little Vivec, and they say those elves are snobbish and weird. They keep to themselves and don't even want to talk when they pass through Aurora. The guards can't imagine what their problem is. Bad as Windhelm may have been, the people of Aurora feel they at least deserve a chance.

That's yet another village further east. I'm told it's called Oakwood.

Selyse is happy with the things I brought her. She gives me an amulet that increases carryweight by 90 pounds.

For that matter, I decide that I am rich enough now to buy some permanent extra carryweight. But first I ought to explain to you how that carryweight thing works. Normally I can carry 300 pounds of weight. We call it "pound", but I have no idea whatsoever how it relates to the pound in your world, or whichever weight unit you are using. Now, carryweight can be increased by wearing certain magical items and it can be increased for a relatively short time by drinking so-called carryweight potions. I have a magic feather that gives me an extra 100 pounds of carryweight, and now with Selyse's amulet I would be able to carry 300 + 100 + 90 = 490 pounds.
It's also possible to have a magic trader increase your base carryweight permanently for the price of 200 septims per pound. That is independent of any magical items. That's what I'm going to do today. I'll go to the magic shop in Aurora and invest 10 000 septims in 50 pounds of carryweight. After that, my base carryweight will be 350 instead of 300, and with those two magical items I'll be able to carry 540 pounds instead of 490.
Oh, and one more thing. Ours being a magical world, we can have our inventories float along with us when we, like, swim across a river. Just in case you've been wondering.  ;-)

Before leaving for Aurora, I want to have a little chat with Velyna Rathvasi next door. Her husband has just headed for Bal-Ran's shack, so I walk over to say hello to her.

I'm curious to know what is the reason why the people in this village shun the ones in Aurora whom they can actually see every day and often even hear just across a little water.

That's Aurora. I'm in Little Vivec.
Skarla's alchemy shop is in the first house on the left.

Velyna informs me it's actually Selyse who hates Nords, and the rest of the villagers just don't want to hurt her feelings. As for her reason, Velyna doesn't know either. She presumes the Nords in Windhelm might have done something to her. At least Selyse was initially the most vocal supporter of Belvadyr's plan to leave Windhelm. And it is a little strange she is still unmarried – and not even looking for a partner. But Velyna doesn't know any particulars. She's only guessing.

On my way back to Aurora, I pass by Toren and Taren's house. Toren asks me to bring a letter to Riverwood. He says he's much too busy to travel and he can't trust his lazy brother. I inform him I'm going in the opposite direction and maybe won't visit Riverwood for another week. He says, no problem, if I can deliver it within a week, then he's fine witht that. I say, all right then, and take the letter.

Toren's reluctance to ask someone in Aurora is really weird, but I don't feel like discussing this with him. So I just return to Aurora across that long bridge.

My girls are already up and they accompany me to the magic shop. Then we rush off to the northwest. I'm unsure about stopping at the Half-Moon Mill. I realize I miss Hert even though I saw her only last night. The truth is, she's a lot more experienced than me and I feel complete trust in her, as well as an urge to tell her about everything that's been going on in my life. It's confusing. And I'm afraid to come across as weird – which, I know, I shouldn't, because we've already made love, and at her initiative at that. But if I hang around her too much, then maybe I won't be able to be cautious enough and her husband might notice something.

So we just wave a cheerful hello and run on, through the town of Northkeep, past Moss Mother Cavern where we helped the hunter Valdr from Falkert a few days ago, and then farther to the northwest to find that Bilegulch Mine place where Kharjo's amulet might be.

I must say the name doesn't sound inviting. Neither does the formidable wooden defense wall. We can't even see a gate in it. But there are impenetrable-looking mountains on all the other sides, so we'll just have to take our chances approaching from this direction. I'm quite frightened when a fierce Orc runs out of the gate and charges towards us. The arrows from the four of us stop him halfway, though. Now we at least know where the gate is.

With somewhat frightened fascination, we sneak in and experience a big disappointment. I mean, it's really a disappointment, not a relief. The disappointment is that there are only two bandits inside the walls and they are dead from my arrows before they know what hit them. Then there is an actual mine. In it we find the bandit chief. He at least notices us coming, but we kill him with 4 or 5 arrows before he gets a chance to hit us. And that's it. There's no one else.

I can't believe it. Those four men was all they had!! Logically speaking, it was to our advantage, but I can't help feeling sad. What good is such a magnificent fortification if you don't man it? There would have been plenty of space for 20 soldiers here. Maybe it's very difficult to hire men in this region because there are too few people to rob?

Maybe they have 20 men who are out on some business and about to return any moment, says Jenassa the Mature and Sensible.

Right! Sorry about chatting away again. We must find Kharjo's amulet.

That turns out not difficult at all. The bandit chief has it in his pocket. Now, thanks to the magical connection between it and its owner, I can, with the amulet in my possession, always tell where Kharjo is. Meaning, we won't have to roam all across Skyrim in search for his caravan. This is great!

However, Kharjo is currently to our north-northeast while our next stop is in the northwest, quite far from here. I intend to go looking for the next piece of that aetherium thing we got from Arkngthamz. I have the map in Katria's journal, so we'll try and find the place. The day is still young. Maybe we can get there by tonight.

We pass by an awe-inspiring castle:

I want to go there one day. I hope the people will be friendly. Although I rather fear they aren't.

Shortly before we reach the east-west highway, it begins to drizzle. We soon arrive in Granite Hall. As I've told you, there's a mountain range that separates us from Roriksted, and the only path to the other side that I know of goes through this town.

Now I'm beginning to have second thoughts about today's plans. Although it's only 1 o'clock, I'm feeling tired. I didn't sleep well last night. The region northwest from Roriksted where we'll be going is completely unknown to us and it might well be that we won't find any place suitable for sleeping far and wide. Apart from which, even though we don't have all that much loot, it may still be a good idea to enhance what I can and sell everything I don't need, because we may be finding a lot of loot where we're going, and our carryweight is, of course, limited.

Last but not least, I haven't had sex for ages. So maybe I ought to try and find a nice man today and give my girls an opportunity to do the same.

Among the rhythmic clanking of a hammer in the nearby smithy, I realize that my group has been living very hectically these past days. It's about time to stop to smell the roses. Or leeks that are on display on the market stall over there. I don't expect to find many roses in this place. Anyway, we're going to rest this afternoon, proceed later to Roriksted for the night and have an early start tomorrow, all right?

There isn't much for me to do in terms of crafting, and I'm glad to have an opportunity to look around in this very unusually-built city. Neither is it difficult to sell all the excess items I have. What is not so easy is finding a receptive man. Everyone is so awfully busy in this town. They don't want to stop and smell roses, or even... well, anything. I look everywhere – shops, the mine, the temple, and finally a house with many rooms which I presume to be the thane's residence (or whoever it is presiding over Granite Hall). There's a good-looking guard. He talks to me mockingly. Maybe I was showing my intentions too clearly? I don't care. I need a dick real bad. (Heavens, what did I just think? Please pretend you didn't read it.) I more drag than lure the guard into a luxurious bedroom. There's no one about. He suggests another bedroom nearby that is less fancy, but I want to do it right here. I throw my clothes onto the floor. There... Ahh... I needed that!

We go on, forgetting everything around us, until a woman opens the door, shrieks and leaves. I fear it was the lady of the house, but I don't know. The point is, that unfortunate incident causes my partner to come rather quickly. I have no one to blame but myself. I should have followed his advice. We should have taken the other bedroom. Vanity never pays.

Still, at least the guy is handsome and kind. I hope he won't get in trouble, and I'm looking forward to meeting him again. Maybe we'll take a room at the inn then. He's my legitimate boyfriend now, so I can do it with him without damaging my reputation any further.

It's only at the last moment that I remember I haven't even asked what his name is. Mojarik, he says. I like it.

Me and my followers are in a very jolly mood going to Roriksted and exchanging stories. Lydia somehow got the idea to hook Rayya up with the shopkeeper Jormun, but it didn't quite work out, with customers coming and going all the time (and later Rayya confesses to me alone that she felt awkward because her period had ended only today), so they finally just went to the inn and talked with a couple of men and had a great time – as well as gave their best not to guffaw when Jenassa came out of a room together with an elven man. It was a traveler on his way to the west whom Jenassa had picked up at the temple.

Laughing into the night, we pass by that ghost castle and we don't even care if we can be heard in the thalmor fortress nearby. Let them attack if they want to. We'll kick their toffee-nosed asses anytime.

We arrive in Roriksted (see picture above) without having met anyone except a lonely fox. I realize the alchemy shop might still be open. Yes, it is, and there's an Arcane Enchanter here, that device for enhanting, remember I told you? It can also be used for destroying an enchanted item whereby you learn its enchantment ("learn" as in "gain the ability to put it on items of your own"). I have picked up a greatsword of Corruption  somewhere. This enchantment simulates the effect of poison, damaging the target's health steadily during some time after a hit. As I never use greatswords (they're uncomfortably heavy for me), I now annihilate this one to learn its enchantment rather than sell it.

That's it. Finished. And now quickly to the inn and to bed!



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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (14) Not All Spooks Are Spooky

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it inevitably reveals a lot about the game.
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previous day






4-201-08-30 03:36
Aurora Borealis Inn, Aurora, Falkreath, Skyrim


I get dressed and wake up my followers. They don't even look too drowsy. (Just in case you were wondering, we were all sleeping tonight. Outside of settlements, I require my followers to take turns keeping nightwatch, but in settlements we trust our safety to the guards. That said, the hour is obviously very early.)

It's still dark outside, so we can bathe in the lake without the fear of exposing ourselves indecently. Only the best inns have baths, and Aurora Borealis Inn is not one of them.

I know many of you are eager to see me naked. So here I am, covered with nothing but soap.  ;-)

I ask the girls if they did anything exciting last night. No, they didn't, just chatted with the locals in the taproom and then realized they'd better turn in because in all likelihood they would have to be ready to get moving as soon as I had slept my fill. Good! They're learning.

Today's plan is, firstly, to check out that place near Northkeep where we might find traces of a vampire; secondly, to head north from there to a place called Rhothgar's Watch Ruins and get that valuable sword which was stolen from that filthy rich elf; and thirdly, to head west and check out Arkngthamz, reputedly a Dwemer ruin. Dwemer ruins are... never mind, I'll tell you when we get there. Little point in describing something I've never actually seen.

We leave Aurora long before sunrise. I run first and before I know it, I've left the girls far behind. I can't help it. Running is such a thrill!

It's still dark when I arrive at a campfire next to a tent. There's a human standing there. When I step closer, he decides to attack me. How could I have been so careless? Then again, what was there to do? I don't want to get into the habit of shooting everyone just in case.

The fight is very tough, especially because my followers take their time getting there. But we finally kill the vampire. Yes, that's what he is. I find a diary of an alchemist who used to live in this place and evidently ended up killed by that very vampire.

We proceed to nearby Northkeep to report to Boldon. He's still asleep, but doesn't mind my waking him up. He thanks me and says there are probably more vampires and he's going to report to his order and whatnot. The point is, he has no more tasks for me, so we wish each other well and I waste no time heading north.

The sun is out now and the weather is very nice. A lovely day for going into mountains to kill people, what?

I had expected Rhorthgar's Watch Ruins to be a ruin of something. Actually it's a huge cave.

It leads to an underground structure, possibly a former mine. In it, we encounter half a dozen particularly nasty cutthroats. On staircases in narrow passages, you don't have any overview or control of the situation, you just strike at whomever you can, trying not to get backstabbed and not to hit any of your own. We're really very lucky to get out of this alive, the four of us. And we get that sword. We also find a couple of letters that tell about those bandits having been hired by someone, but I couldn't care less. I'll let that Varlais dude rack his brain with all that when I return the sword to him.

But right now we're going in the opposite direction. The fine warm weather raises our spirits after that close encounter with death. After a while we arrive in a curious town Granite Hall on the hills north of the road. It has massive stone buildings, partly underground. It's a former Dwemer city, so I can expect Arkngthamz to look something similar – albeit, I presume, in a significantly worse state of repair.

It's a little past noon. I use the opportunity to get rid of our loot and to reequip my followers.

What's truly appalling about this town is how I have to ask for directions at every step. The smithy is easy to find and I'm allowed to use it while the blacksmith is having a lunch break, but the traders and the inn – I could stray endlessly in those passages on several levels above and under ground. A friendly woman at the temple assures me it's the only such mazetown in Skyrim. I'm very relieved to hear that.

As soon as I've sold everything I can, we hurry onwards.

A brief stop at a nearby roadside shrine of Dibella.
By the way, I swear I'm not really so fat. It's the armor that makes me look like this.

Soon we turn away from the main road – to the south, up the mountains.

We arrive at the gate of a village called Dushnikh Yal. It's inhabited by Orcs who tell us they won't let us in, because we're not Orcs. Well, all right then. Somehow I don't think there's much to see behind that strong wooden fence anyway.

Orcs... I don't think I've ever seen more than one or two of them. I wonder if they're very different. But never mind that now. A short brisk hike uphill and we see unusually-shaped stone structures further up.

That must be it. Arkngthamz. Somehow the sound of that name sends shivers down my... um, let's say spine.

We enter through a large door and come into a passage which runs between massive stone walls and fallen colums. It's lighted by lamps of the kind I've never seen before. Then we hear a spooky voice urging us to turn back "before it's too late". Soon we are able to see the owner of the voice. It's a ghostly woman or a womanly ghost – well, a blue see-through shape of quite an elegant woman with a bow on her back who introduces herself as Katria. She says she used to be a treasure-hunter who met her death in this dungeon looking for a rare material called aetherium. It's something the Dwemers are believed to have invented. Katria makes a half-hearted attempt to persuade us to leave because the place is too dangerous, but I can see she's actually curious to find out the secret of aetherium. That's evidently the reason why she couldn't die peacefully and keeps hanging around as a ghost. You know how people sometimes say how curiosity "killed" someone. In Katria's case, it's the opposite – curiosity wouldn't let her soul die even when her body did.

We are on the edge of an abyss of unimaginable depth. We have to cross it along narrow stone footbridges, somewhat wider than logs.

Those are the ones.

Safely on solid ground again, we go through passages of stone and metal and get occasionally attacked by spider-shaped metal things, very strong in fact. And then by an ordinary flesh-and-blood human bandit for good measure. There are two gates opened and closed by peculiar mechanisms which Katria calls "kinetic resonators". We climb higher and higher along ledges where moderate drunkenness would almost certainly result in a deadly fall. After that, more scary footbridges. Don't ever use the expression "dizzy heights" if you haven't been to Arkngthamz.

Now we are attacked by humanoid creatures not unlike trolls but much smaller. Still larger than humans, though. Katria says they're called Falmers. It is most discouraging to see how my arrows can barely scratch them. Without my four helpers, I would have no chance of surviving this.

We arrive in a place where Katria recognizes her bow from the time when her mortal body was killed. It lies on a horizontal tree-trunk that goes halfway across the abyss. Lucky it hasn't fallen down. Walking along that log to fetch it is far scarier than crossing those so-called bridges earlier. But it's worth it. The bow is amazing. It's four times stronger than the one I've been using so far. My visit to Arkngthamz has proven more worthwhile than I ever expected.

Finally we arrive at a clearing in front of a huge building. It has closed gates. Up on its facade are five of those "resonator" things:

Katria explains it's a "tonal lock". You have to hit (as in with an arrow) those five resonators in exactly the right order to open the gates. If you get the sequence wrong, something terrible will happen. Such as an earthquake. That's what caused the death of Katria.

I believe she's not exaggerating. Not only is she herself a, well, dead proof of that tonal lock's dangerousness, there are bodies in various stages of decay all around us. Fortunately, I haven't come unprepared. I recognize this place from that recent dream I told you about. In fact, I had a clear image of this structure with the five resonators (albeit without all those corpses) in my mind's eye before our arrival here. Even better, I know the correct combination. Don't ask me where Bardslayer got it from. Maybe I found it out in my past life. Maybe one of those dead bodies is a former me. I hope not.

Enough of that, Laura! This here is your life. There hasn't been anything before it.

I choose an ordinary bow and least powerful arrows, trusting that the resonators won't fight back. Then I take five shots at the resonators one after another. Each one I hit whirrs a little bit and then begins to glow. It's kind of cute. I'd love to play with those things some more, but of course that's not a good idea.

Yes, the sequence is correct. The doors open. We rush inside and find a piece of, um, something. Katria says it is aetherium. She's so happy. I'm touched to tears listening to her. I couldn't care less about aetherium, but I feel immense joy for having been granted the opportunity to help the ghost of that woman fulfill her dream and get the feeling that her life had a meaning after all.

Katria asks me to help her find the other pieces that belong together with the one we just found. Her journal contains a rough map of the places where they may be.

I certainly hope so. She's a great companion. Knows a lot and says the right things at the right time.

The ghost of Katria begins to fade away and then she's gone as if she'd never been there. Me and my followers, we have to use more mundane ways of moving around. This means going back along those ledges and across those "bridges". We're extremely tired. There is no place suitable for sleeping here, so we'll have to go all the way back to the town of Granite Hall. But first we'll need to find a way out of Arkngthamz.

When we came in earlier, there was one place where we had to climb on metal waterpipes and then jump down. The pipe was clearly too high to jump up onto it from the ground. So there must be another way out. I use the Clairvoyance  spell until it leads us into a solid wall. From that point on, we're on our own.

Now, there might be an exit further below. Maybe we can descend along the ledges. Maybe we can jump down onto one of those narrow footbridges below. Maybe we'd fall to death. Maybe some of us would survive and some of us would fall to death. Maybe we'd survive the descent only to find there is no exit. I'm not going to do that. So there's only one thing I can do. I perform a special ritual meant to contact Bardslayer when I'm in a really hopeless situation.

Stupid girl, he says to me. You can go back the same way you came in. Don't tell me you're in a hopeless situation when you haven't actually verified you are.

Really? We go back to that place with waterpipes. The pipe is too high all right, but we can climb across a low barrier and jump into the water below. It's a fall of just a few meters. One can easily wade through the water and reach the passage on the other side.

So, getting out of Arkngthamz turns out to be a complete no-brainer. Even those two gates with resonators  are still open. I'm so ashamed of myself.

The sun is about to rise soon. On our way to Granite Hall, we see a Seviana's House which has a lock I'm unable to pick (and yes, no one is at home; I did knock first). Then there's Valthume, a Nordic ruin thousands of years old, according to Lydia. Yawn... I yawn all the way back to Granite Hall. Just short of the staircase leading uphill to the town, we have a quick shower in the river ("shower" means it's raining) – I fear they might otherwise refuse to let us into the town, dirty as we are. And finally we're in Granite Hall. We gather up our last strength and are lucky to reach the inn without collapsing. Well, it's not really that bad, I'm just being witty. But we are very tired.



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