Always Lost, Always Hopeful (138) Snow Job

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-202-01-03 05:29
Calixto's House of Curiosities, Windhelm, Eastmarch, Skyrim


As I open my eyes, I'm in my house in Windhelm. Lydia is breathing calmly next to me. So are Jenassa and Jordis on their mattresses. I slip out of the bed quietly, get dressed and go out.

How could that Orc slavehunter overwhelm the four of us instantly? What kind of extraordinary magic was that? Why didn't any of those powerful forces interested in saving the world step in for me? Or was it all meant to be like that? Another episode in the Psijic Order's perverse entertainment?

Maybe the slavers' attack succeeded because it was very close to Mixwater Mill? Meaning, we had started to move, but weren't yet in our proper travel formation? Or maybe we were too close to each other because we were too careless?

Stop thinking nonsense, Laura! We weren't and they didn't, because it didn't happen. It was a dream.

I remember I wanted to help that orphan child Sofie. But where am I supposed to find her this early in the morning? I walk to the eastern gate where she used to sell flowers. Unsurprisingly, there's no one there. I turn around and walk slowly back. Lydia has just come out. I wave at her. She doesn't look entirely awake.

"Did you see it too, Laura?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, even though I have no doubt as to what she means.
"How we were captured and brought to an auction."
I nod.
Lydia seems genuinely scared now. "Do you think that's what would have happened if you hadn't had that hunch about having to kill that Orc?"
I shrug lightly. "Maybe. I don't know." I see little point pondering it, and yet I can't help being curious. "Where were you sold to?"
"I can't remember," answers Lydia after a second of reflection. "And I don't want to talk about it."
"Neither do I. Where are the others?"
"I left them sleeping."
I shrug again. "Let's wake 'em up then."

Over the breakfast, I ask casually if Jenassa and Jordis slept well and if they had any interesting dreams. They reply they did and hadn't.

It's getting light while we leave the city by the northern gate.

I suppose this horse belongs to the city guards.

A few people in the elven refugee camp are already up and about.

Walking downhill, we witness a magic battle on the shore. A mage and a spriggan hurl glowing things at each other. We crouch down to avoid getting spotted, and observe fascinatedly. We realize the mage is also being pestered by something that looks like a very large mucrab. We are quite far, though, and the light is still poor, so I'm not sure.

Eventually, a horker joins the battle, and it seems to me that the spriggan is starting to attack the horker instead of the mage.

Now, I don't care much about some roaming wizard getting killed, but I don't appreciate an attack on a nice horker. So I draw my bow and kill the spriggan. It bursts out in flames and I realize it was really a flame atronach. Then I shoot the mage as well and am pleased to see that the horker is alive, leaving the area quickly. Well, quickly for a horker.

This was no less than the second time I mistook a flame atronach for a spriggan. How can I avoid that mistake in the future? Maybe by paying attention to that glowing trail an atronach leaves behind while moving?

We run on.

Approaching Amol City, we notice two men walking across the snow at some distance:

Since decent people rarely walk around wearing mage robes, we try to bypass them sneaking, only to be attacked by two trolls coming from the opposite direction, and then an icewraith. By then the two travelers have noticed us too. We try to leave them behind by running into the town, but they follow us and the town guards engage them. Naturally, we must go back and kill the mages instead of letting the Amol City guards do our dirty work for us. They're a couple of necromancers.

We do some shopping. I haven't really anything left to sell apart from a bunch of armors too expensive for most Skyrim traders to buy, but I still visit traders to restock on metal ingots and soul gems.

In Winterhold, I go to the library first.

Ertzebet and I greet each other cordially without hugging (because we're in front of people), after which I approach Urag, asking if he knows where I can find Elder Scrolls.

Looks like I chose an unfortunate formulation, because Urag gets really incensed. He rebukes me most severely and makes it very clear that even if they had an Elder Scroll here, it would be guarded so that no thief in the world would have a chance to get near it, and neither, most assuredly, would I.

So you don't have any Elder Scrolls. Thank you, that's what I needed to know. How about literature about them? Surely that's not too dangerous for mere mortals to lay their eyes on?

It takes Urag some time to calm down and to remember that I'm technically his superior. I think with all those... centuries, I daresay, of experience he's had in this world, he shouldn't get thrown out of balance so easily, don't you agree? But there's hardly any point telling him that. Instead, I study the book "Ruminations on the Elder Scrolls" Urag has placed carefully on the table before walking away, still not entirely happy with my presence here.

Ertzebet has heard it told that the author, Septimus Signus, is crazy (albeit the best expert on Elder Scrolls) and his book doesn't make much sense. But I discover that when I unhurriedly focus on the words and allow their emotional energy to enter my mind rather than think logically about their meaning, I find myself getting a pretty good idea of what the author was trying to say. Even though I close the book none the wiser as to how to find that particular Elder Scroll I need to bring to my friend Paarthurnax, I can certainly state that "Ruminations on the Elder Scrolls" is much more interesting to read than the vast majority of books I've seen in Skyrim.

Gingerly, I approach Urag again. He notices my hesitation and says with a sigh: all right, ask your questions. I think he's not so angry anymore.

I ask if Mr. Signus is still alive.

Urag says the last he saw him, Septimus was planning on traveling to some islands north of here. That's all he knows. I guess I'll have to go looking for that maybe-not-all-that-crazy genius.

As I begin walking out of the library, I realize I'm itching for a fuck, pardon my bluntness. Not from Urag, obviously, and neither from Tolfdir into whom I run next. I ask Tolfdir if anything of importance has occurred during my absense, and he says there has indeed. In The Rift, there's a "rupture" from which some evil magic is leaking into our world. Judging by the words of the jarl brought here by a courier, Tolfdir believes it to be residue from the Eye of Magnus which, as you probably remember, the psijics took away from the College assuring they'll make sure it'll be safely contained. It looks like they didn't quite succeed. Therefore, Tolfdir suggests I'll grab my Staff of Magnus and go check it out.

I have no objections, in principle. Unfortunately, I no longer have the Staff of Magnus. Since I found it useless against conventional enemies, I saw no point carrying the dead weight along. Now I'll have to find out whom I sold it to, and the poor people down southeast will have to put up with some magical horrors for possibly a considerable time.

I check my map. The place Tolfdir indicated is not far from Largashbur. Those Orcs just keep having bad luck! Should I tell them that possibly Malacath isn't their true god? No, it doesn't sound like a good idea. Besides, that story in my dream was a hoax to begin with.

Of course I won't tell Tolfdir any of this. Looking over his shoulder, I notice Onmund. I figure he's the best in terms of dick I'll be able to find around here. (Gods, what a dirty mind I'm having today!)

While pretending to listen to Tolfdir, I in fact observe Onmund conversing with Brelyna. I'm still as positive as can be that there's nothing between them, except, probably, Onmund's general readiness to jump in the sack with pretty much any good-looking woman, should an opportunity present itself. After I've said goodbye to Tolfdir, I give Onmund a wink and his bright smile leaves no doubt of his receptiveness. But I need to go and see Enthir first. I give him the Staff of Tandil  he wanted, firstly because I have no use for it, and secondly because I'm curious to find out what's that mysterious item Arniel wanted from him. It turns out to be a Warped Soul Gem  which Enthir insists can't be used to capture a soul, which is why he can't imagine what Arniel wants it for.

I'm curious to find out that as well. Well away from Enthir, I give the soul gem to Arniel. I've been noticing that the more I help him, the more he is willing to reveal to me. This time, he says with great many words that he's researching one of the world's biggest mysteries – the disappearance of the Dwemers (aka Dwarves). It is said that they vanished instantly. Arniel is, by his own words, "attempting to recreate the circumstances of the event". For that, he needs a device called Dwarven Convector  which unfortunately got molten down during his experiments. Now he wants me to go and explore Dwemer ruins and try to find some Dwarven Convectors left behind by the Dwarves.

I am to use them on the Warped Soul Gem precisely according to the instructions he has restored from Dwemer writings. "Scraps, really," as he's careless enough to specify, after which he quickly hands me the Warped Soul Gem and says he'll teach me a spell required for using those Convector things.

Does that man ever do anything himself?

Why, of course he does! He'll have to double- and triple-check his calculations.

Right. Didn't think he'd do it  before  sending me out to operate devices of the kind he had blowing up in his face.

I won't let him speak. Yes, I understand it didn't literally blow up in his face. I meant it as a figure of speech. The fact of the matter is I'm very irritable today. I'm not surprised, because it's that time of the month and the dream I had last night didn't exactly help. But that's not the point. The point is that my curiosity regarding Arniel's pursuits has now been satisfied in full and I'm giving him a piece of my mind. I tell him he's obviously a bungler whom I wouldn't trust to get the Magelight  spell right, and he hasn't got one shred of responsibility. How can he possibly have the nerve to try and RECREATE the conditions where the Dwemer civilization vanished? Never mind he has no chance of succeeding. The point is he believes he can succeed. Considering that, has it never occurred to him that by "recreating the situation" he might cause the disappearence of the humankind?

Now Arniel is really angry about my "patronizing him" as he puts it. He demands I give him his soul gem back. I tell him to forget it and shut the fuck up and get out of my sight, or I'll have him dismissed from the College and expelled from Winterhold, in which case he, with his level of magic skills, won't reach Amol City without getting eaten by snowbears.

Without waiting for Arniel's reply, I turn around and leave. It occurs to me that I should send him to Tel Mithryn and introduce him to that oafish disciple of Neloth. They should get along well – and with any luck annihilate each other.

I smile at that fantasy as I ascend the stairs looking for Sergius to whom I have soul gems to deliver. Proper soul gems, that is. I hear some horrible unearthly noise several times. It's hard to describe. Something between an atronach exploding and a dragon priest arising from his coffin. Has the rupture  in The Rift made its way to Winterhold already?

Having reached the upper floor, I look around without seeing anything suspicious. I talk a little to Faralda and she acts like nothing is wrong. As I walk out of her room, I notice an eerie glow.

I mean the one on the right. That thick blue beam on the left is always there. Protects the College or something.

Well, let's find out what it does. I carefully step closer, and then into the whiteish-yellow glow. Nothing happens. A second later, I hear the same mildly explosive and very repulsive sound again quite close. I look in its direction and see Collette practising some spell. Damn her! She scared the hell out of me. And she's supposed to be specialized on Restoration! That spell she keeps casting sounds like she's trying to make Winterhold fall into the ocean.

I leave quickly before I do something terrible to her. I finally find Sergius in the library. I give him the gems and as a return favor I persuade him to put a special enchantment on Mr. Signus's book that points to the whereabouts of the author. Sergius warns me that the enchantment merely shows his direction, not whether he's alive or dead. No problem. I'll find out. Thanks.

I'm taking the book with me. My murderous glare keeps Urag's mouth shut.

It's high time for me to go and find Onmund now. I hope he can improve my mood.

I jump when I notice Onmund waiting right outside the library door. Has he been following me? Well, come to think of it, why should I be running after him?

I feel like doing it up on the roof of my living quarters, the highest point of the College. Onmund looks at me with boundless desire. He'd probably do it in front of his parents if I asked him to.

Going up the stairs, Onmund is silent, but when we've reached the roof, he says awkwardly he has a problem with Enthir and would I help him with it? I tell him to shut up and strip. As there's quite a lot of snow, we do it standing up, facing the huge statue of Azura on top of a mountain even higher than this roof. The act itself is average, but you have no idea what a spectacular view we would have here if only the weather deigned to clear up for a minute.

We are in the middle of that sunbeams-shaped roof on the left, if you look very carefully.

I meant to say this roof turns out not at all a good place for lovemaking. But I had to find out.

"All right, what did want to talk about?" I ask Onmund when we have closed the door behind us. He follows me to the bed. We're warm enough after sex, but I could use a little cuddle. Talking is also much easier lying down.

Onmund informs me he entered uncautiously an agreement with Enthir and sold him his valuable family amulet because he had fallen out with his family, but now he realizes how wrong he was to part with that precious heirloom. Unfortunately, Enthir refuses to sell the amulet back, and Onmund's heart is bleeding and would I please talk to Enthir?

Wait, wait, wait! What agreement?

Oh, it's not important, says Onmund.

He can't fool me for one moment, but I'm not saying anything. I'll talk to Enthir first, and then I'll suck Onmund's dick just a little, and he'll tell me anything to make me continue.

All right – his penis. I'm sorry.

I touch Onmund down there, trying to make it appear accidental. Doesn't look like he can do it one more time. I wonder if there are spells to make men hard, and if there were, would men be offended or grateful if we used them on them? What school of magic would it be anyway? Alteration? Illusion? I hope it's not Illusion. [Laughing.] Maybe I can recommend Arniel a more useful and less dangerous line of study?

In a gabbing mood again, am I not? Whatever. I open my mouth in the real world, telling Onmund noncommittally I'll do what I can, and we'd better get going now. It's six o'clock in the evening. I had actually intended to travel to Summerset today, but now it's so late that the girls and I had better spend the night here and leave tomorrow morning. As I have nothing planned for the evening, I can just as well go and talk to Enthir now. Later... well, maybe I'll ask Onmund to spend the night with me. Surely he'll be up to it after a few hours of rest. Or maybe I'll let Lydia do it to me with a strapon? Might be fun. I'll discuss it with her. But now to Enthir!

Enthir is a tough negotiator. After a lengthy verbal duel, we come to the solution that he won't return the amulet, not even for money.

This affair has gotten me curious like the proverbial cat. I withdraw for the time being to rethink my strategy. I must say I kind of appreciate the personality of Enthir. It's a fascinating challenge to figure out what might be the best approach to get him to reveal me his secret. Somehow I doubt I can win him over with my feminine wiles. I must ask Jenassa to give me a... brain? Is there such a saying? I mean, when someone needs to do someone physical, you give him a hand, but when he needs to figure something out, can you give him a head or a brain? (Not give him head. I know what that means.)

Never mind me. I know I need to get into female company real soon because my speech bladder is dangerously full . I think I'll go and see if Ertzebet is free. I'm sure she won't betray me if I ask her about Enthir's possible weaknesses. Or who knows, she may have heard something about Onmund's secrets. Isn't it marvelous how full the world is of possibilities?

When I get outdoors on my way to the library, I realize it's actually not too dark yet. If we're really quick, I think the girls and I will be able to find Mr. Signus and return before the night. I mean, the way back here is easy, because we know exactly where the College is and what it looks like, and should it really get too dark, we can use my magic ring.

Right! We'll do that. Chatting can wait. I find my followers and we descend to the coast.

Well, I was wrong about that "not too dark" part. But never mind. I put on the ring. Its light can't reach farther than a few meters which is why we won't be able to do any reasonable navigation. That's why I take one of the two Waterwalking  potions I have left. Now I won't have to find out where the coastline is and how to get from one island to another. The girls can go back to Winterhold, really. I'll be careful and should I meet anything dangerous, I'll return and we'll go there again together in daylight.

Jenassa asks me if she may spend the night with her boyfriend Nelacar and join us in the morning. Sure. Keep him away from his "research" and let the good people of Winterhold sleep peacefully for one night? What could I possibly have against it?

The girls return up the hill and I run into the darkness in the north, led by nothing except Sergius's enchantment on the book. I find a cave named Septimus Signus's Outpost. Shouldn't have bothered with the potion, by the way, because I was running on very solid-looking ice blocks most of the time.

I descend a ladder that takes me to the edge of a deep icy cave.

Septimus Signus is quite alive. He tells me about a most amazing Dwemer invention. It concerns the question how to read Elder Scrolls which, as you may know, is highly dangerous for a human being. I don't know the exact specifics, but the popular wisdom is it can make you blind or insane. Septimus himself admits readily he has suffered mental damage from working extensively with Elder Scrolls. But he has discovered that the Dwemers possessed a machine that could transmit the contents of an Elder Scroll onto a metal object called Lexicon from which a human being can read the information without damaging himself.

He means he has an empty Lexicon in his possession to which the contents of an Elder Scroll could be transmitted.

That's amazing. Septimus is truly a great man. I mean, not because of that Lexicon thing. He really knows so much. I can't believe those pompous jerks in the College look down on him. I admit, you have to really focus, in order to understand what Septimus is saying, but he is actually giving me useful information while there are so many wannabe philosophers all over Skyrim who torture my ears with nonsensical blabber trying to make themselves look smart. Or let me put that thought into simpler words – Septimus's speech may be more difficult to understand than, say, Arniel's, but that's mainly because the latter hasn't got one fifth of the former's intelligence and is therefore simply not able to say anything even remotely profound.

But does Septimus know where I can find the Elder Scroll I'm looking for? Yes, he does. In Blackreach. That's the very place I've been trying to locate in order to liberate that girl imprisoned by Fellaqui. Please, Mr. Signus, tell me you know where Blackreach is! Please, please, pretty please! Yes, yes, I know about Alftand, but where is Alftand?

He knows!! He shows Alftand to me on the map. It's southwest from Saarthal, not very far. I'm so happy. I wouldn't hesitate to have sex with Septimus if only he asked me to. But he says nothing to that effect, so I just thank him and leave. For that matter, he might well be too old for that.

The girls and I will go to Alftand tomorrow morning. Summerset can wait. We'll find the scroll and transcribe that empty Lexicon   Septimus gave me. This is what it looks like:

Then I can bring him the contents of the Scroll he can study safely, and the physical Scroll I can bring to Paarthurnax for whom, I presume, it's not dangerous because he's not human. Or at least he didn't say anything to that effect, and if there should be a problem, he'll figure out something.

I feel like I'm flying over the ocean as I travel back to Winterhold, but in fact I'm just running on ice, and very briefly in shallow water near the coast.

After that it's uphill to the arches below the College, ring off, up the stairs and into my quarters. Lydia and Jordis see I'm triumphant and energetic. We'll go to a Dwemer ruin tomorrow, I tell them. It's nothing special, never mind. Let's go to sleep.

Yeah, in my dreams! They won't let me close my eyes until I've told them everything. As a reward, I learn – as a follow-up to my earlier witticism on Jenassa and Nelacar – that sex indeed drains men's magical energy somewhat, or maybe it's the other way around. At any rate, Lydia heard from Haran, the innkeeper's wife, that for several days after each visit by Jenassa, Nelacar's dubious magical activities decrease significantly. We all find it utterly hilarious.



next awakening






return to the table of contents

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (136) Fog in and outside Us

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-202-01-01 11:48
Uthgerd's House, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


When I open my eyes, Valdimar is no longer next to me. However, as soon as he sees that I've woken up, he wastes no time slipping under the blanket. Naturally, his morning erection is long gone by now, but I don't mind giving him a helping hand. I owe it to him for having let me sleep.

He takes me sideways this time and in the right hole. It doesn't last long and I don't get an orgasm, but I thoroughly enjoy our kissing and cuddling afterwards, as well as relish in the awareness that I'm able to give men such enormous pleasure as I just heard Valdimar experience.

Carlotta's house across the street from mine.

We go to the Bannered Mare inn to have a bath. I'm mildly astonished to see the marketplace almost empty at exactly 12 o'clock. As I open the door of the inn, I burst in laughter. The taproom is full of people. They seem to have a kind of an afterparty going on here – if they went to sleep at all.

Even Saadia has come out of hiding for this occasion!

Fortunately, there's still sufficient space for us in the bathroom. Men and women mingle freely without any embarrassment today. (Usually you have to wait behind the door when there's someone of the opposite sex inside.) When I'm clean, I go out looking for my followers. I see Ysolda on the street and ask her to send Lydia, Jenassa and Jordis to the Drunken Huntsman, should she happen to see them. That's where I head now. With any luck, Jenassa will be there already.

Well, so are Lydia and Jordis. All three have a hangover, and they wonder why I haven't, plastered as I supposedly was last night. Give me a break, I wasn't plastered! They insist I don't remember, and demand I tell them what I did last night with Valdimar, in order to prove I do remember. I know they're just teasing me, curious to know what happened. And maybe I did get a little too drunk last night. But I honestly don't feel anything like a hangover, and I don't even feel any pain back there. A good night's sleep is truly a wonder remedy.

For that matter, I now remember I've never had a hangover in my life. I just suddenly know it. Maybe that's how one's memory comes back – something happens to you that is similar to something that's happened in the past, and then you become able to recall that thing from the past?

I can see that my followers are not appreciating a discussion this abstract right now. Sorry. How about running around in the countryside, I ask with an innocent voice and a sadistic grin. Without waiting for them to reply, I ask Jordis how it went last night, and she says Erik and she, as well as Borgakh, had truly the prime seat. They were outside the city walls with the guards who released the fireworks supervised by Farengar the court wizard. They were actually allowed to fire a few themselves. Erik had the time of his life, she says. Good. Thanks, Jordis.

I tell my followers they can rest, because we're in no hurry. I almost stand up, but then I remember. I cast a quick glance towards the bar. Elrindir is busy with a customer and there is no one near our corner table. I sit back down. Wanna hear about a serial killer, girls?

That gets them alert instantly. I tell them what I witnessed yesterday evening in Jorrvaskr and we come quickly to the agreement that we'd better not meddle with the affairs of the Companions and indeed get out of the city until the hue and cry has died down. We can trust the jarl and the steward to investigate this as far as necessary, and we should have no bad feelings washing our hands of that affair, because it's far more likely to have something to do with the trouble within the Companions organization than a mentally deranged maniac. Those don't target seasoned fighters. They're just mad, not stupid, as Jenassa puts it.

As I leave to walk around a bit, I make it a point stressing that I'm by no means in a hurry, but as soon as the girls feel fit enough, I'd like to head for Ivarsted, this time by the northern road. We might get some good exercise in Valtheim and the sights are really nice in that region.

But right now I'm going to the palace to see how Borgakh is doing and maybe try to find out cautiously if anyone has heard anything about yesterday's massacre. If the Companions are keeping it secret, then it's surely an inside affair.

As I exit the inn, I see Lucia and Mila on the street. I wave at them and they accompany me to the palace. There 's a merry crowd around the long tables in the palace. When I see Mikki, I suggest to the children to sit down and have some sweeties. Then I take Mikki out of earshot and tell her about the murder in Jorrvaskr. She promises to keep me informed, should she find out anything while I'm away.

Walking around in the palace, I succeed in seeing a halfway decent map of Skyrim hold borders for the first time.
I'm not sure what those square things are. Probably fortresses.

Around 3 in the afternoon, me and my followers leave the city. Having passed through the eastern suburb, we cross the river via an islet, on which we find an old chest with some weapons and money inside, and then climb up a steep riverbank near the Ritual Stone to reach the highway that goes past Valtheim Towers to Eastmarch.

We just run past Valtheim. Never mind the exercise. Further east where the road forks into the northeastern branch that goes to Windhelm and the southern branch that goes past Fort Amol and Darkwater, we run south for a while and then leave the road and climb up mountain paths.
[series of 3 pictures you can click through; click on the first picture to make it big, then click again to see the next picture etc.; press  Esc to return to the text]

It's great we got to see that splendid scenery in good daylight. Even my followers' hangover is gone.  :-)

We reach Nimalten without difficulty, and from there Ivarsted by the time the sun is going down.

That's the bridge you have to cross to get to the 7000 steps leading up to High Hrothgar. Or was it 8000?
Ivarsted is right up this path and to the left.

Facing the direction we arrived from. Note the bridge from the previous picture.

At the inn, I realize I'm really fed up with that smartass jerk Bassianus who is ostensibly courting Fastred but in fact won't let anything with breasts walk past without throwing some sleezy witticism at her. On the other hand, killing him still seems kind of too harsh, so I don't really know what to do. Maybe Valdimar would know, if he were here. But he isn't.

After a brief stop resting and hearing from Wilhelm the barkeeper that nothing sensational has happened recently, we set out for yet another trip up the 7000 steps to High Hrothgar. If we won't drag our feet, we'll reach it while it's still more or less light.

As we're crossing the bridge at the southern end of the village, a guard is fighting a bear. We help him kill it. Then we see that Barknar the pilgrim has sadly met his death, possibly by the paws of that very bear.

Our journey up Mount Nexus is eventless. We succeed in running quickly past all the trolls and don't get lost even once.

In High Hrothgar, I leave my girls waiting well out of the holy weirdos' sight, and spend considerable time locating Arngeir, a task made more difficult by the unfortunate fact that all the other Gaybores are keeping to their principle of not talking. The average men's reluctance to talk (at least about things that matter) is irritating enough, but even the most taciturn men I've met talk at least a few words every now and then. In this company here I would go completely crazy in two days. But never mind that. When I finally find Arngeir and ask him if he knows a shout that can bring a dragon down from the sky, he admonishes me paternally for having let the Blades put stupid thoughts into my head. Refusing to help me until I "return to the path of wisdom", he turns away.

Suddenly, there's strange rumble. I believe to hear the massive stones High Hrothgar is built of clacking against each other. Arngeir turns around again and says Master Einarth has reminded him that the decision is not his to make. I am to go and talk to the Greybeards' leader Paarthurnax who lives in seclusion on top of the mountain, behind that energy barrier (up the stairs in the next picture) I haven't been able to pass through.

I walk behind Arngeir to the foot of the staircase where he teaches me a shout called Clear Skies  that'll help me with that hurting mist. The teaching is done just like the previous times, by projecting glowing symbols onto the ground. I step onto them and thereby acquire the shout.

As I approach the gate and do the shout, the strange mist dissipates and I can indeed walk though. With northern lights in the sky, I can see well enough to proceed along the path up the mountain. However, the shout clears only a limited area, so when I proceed, I end up in the mist again and have to use the shout again to avoid losing health rather quickly. The problem is the shout has a cooldown period, and I'm moving so quickly that I reach the mist before I can use the shout again, and I'm too impatient to wait and so I go into the mist anyway and end up hurt real bad and I still can't use the shout and for some reason my Healing  spell is failing to work and so I'm almost dead before I realize I have to take a health potion.

That was close, and it was really inadmissibly careless of me. When will I learn to pay better attention and think what I'm doing rather than just rush headlong into trouble?

A little later, I'm baffled to see a goat unperturbedly searching for food from under the snow. How it can survive in an environment that kills a human being in a matter of minutes is beyond me.

Then I'm attacked by an icewraith. The path is not dangerously narrow when you just run, but a combat under such conditions could turn rather precarious. Then again, with the mountain on one side, the icewraith hasn't much room for maneuvering. That's why it keeps very close to me most of the time. I choose to fight it with a sword.

It's not easy to keep up with the monster circling around me, but it would be much harder with a bow. I'm fascinated to see the icewraith's jaws up close and I eventually kill it without taking too much damage myself.

Finally, I reach a small plateau on the very top of the mountain, in the middle of which sits a really big dragon. No, he hasn't eaten the Gaybores' leader. He is their leader Paarthurnax. The leader of the Gaybores is a dragon. After all the crazy things preceding this, I'm not even very surprised.

As I approach the dragon, he asks me who I am and what brings me here. I reply that he probably knows already. He says he does, he just hasn't had an opportunity to talk to anyone for a very long time. So I indulge him, asking him not only about things I need to know, but also things I imagine he would enjoy talking about. He speaks slowly, mixing dragon and human words, but I don't mind. I find him kind of likeable.

Before answering my questions, Paarthurnax demands to know why do I want to save the world in the first place.

Save the world? Does this mean that if I don't destroy Alduin, he will not just go on attacking settlements but actually destroy the world? [Gulp]

Come to think of it, Arngeir hinted something to that effect earlier, but I didn't (want to) believe him. Hearing it from the mouth of Paarthurnax, I have no more doubt.

This means I'll go with the Blades' "selfish" pursuit of saving the world rather than follow the Gaybores' "path of wisdom" who insist that if this world is meant to be destroyed then let it.

But that's in the future. Right now, I have to give Paarthurnax's question an answer as good as I can come up with.

Just in case you didn't know – my line is on the right and his reply to me is below.

Paarthurnax tells me humans did indeed defeat Alduin in the distant past with a shout called Dragonrend. Paarthurnax doesn't know the shout, though, because it was designed specifically against dragons, which is why it's impossible for a dragon to learn it. But he has a solution. There's an Elder Scroll , with the help of which Paarthurnax thinks he'll be able to send me temporarily into the past where I can meet the people who created Dragonrend  and learn it from them.

You may ask what an Elder Scroll is. I don't know it so well myself (and I feel embarrassed to ask Paarthurnax and show my ignorance), but the best I understand, it's a written work that is very ancient and contains something highly powerful and unusual. In other words, something like a Black Book that is good rather than evil, perhaps? I must ask someone in Winterhold. Or maybe Farengar knows. (In fact, I'm sure Farengar knows.)

As to where this particular Elder Scroll might be, Paarthurnax has no idea. He says he's been meditating up here waiting for the inevitable return of Alduin, and occasionally teaching dragon shouts to people such as the Greybeards. But he knows little about what's been going on in the people's world down below.

I'd like to tell him he should at least fly around from time to time to stretch his muscles, but somehow it doesn't feel appropriate after the solemn matters we just discussed. So I just say goodbye and Paarthurnax thanks me for having taken the time to talk to him.

My goodness, it's morning already! The sun is shining as I descend, much more careful with the hurtful mist this time. After I've defeated another icewraith, I realize I forgot to ask Paarthurnax why there aren't any female dragons around. Oh well. I'm not going back for that. At least not today.

Another goat up in this place utterly unapproachable for common mortals. I just can't believe it!

I find Arngeir where I left him, sitting on his knees and probably begging the universe to forgive the humankind for my perilous pursuit of knowledge. When I ask him about the Elder Scroll, he informs me that he and his fellow holymen don't concern themselves with them, because they're dangerous knowledge humans should not meddle with. Doing everything in my power not to burst out laughing, I ask him who would meddle with such things. Possibly someone in Winterhold College, he tells me. That's where most of the blasphemy in the world seemingly comes from. Great. Hope he won't find out I'm (at least nominally) the Arch-Mage of that very College.

Now, would you believe if I told you I'm dog-tired? I'm pleased more than words can say to find out that being now an officially recognized Dragonborn, I'm allowed to sleep in the High Hrothgar dormitory.

So are, fortunately, my followers who are already (or still, rather) asleep.



next awakening






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