Always Lost, Always Hopeful (89) His Punishment Will Be Much Harsher

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-201-11-14 09:05
Calixto's House of Curiosities, Windhelm, Eastmarch, Skyrim


Our small house doesn't have a bath, so we use the one at the inn.

I find an excuse to stay behind with Lydia when Jenassa and Jordis are leaving. I ask her the question that's been bothering me: where did Jenassa sleep the other night in Hviterun?

Lydia has already heard it all from Jenassa herself. She slept in The Drunken Huntsman with her boyfriend-so-far Anoriath and they actually made love, but Jenassa wasn't too happy about it, because she's still head over heels with Nelacar. More precisely, she doesn't feel guilty about "betraying" Nelacar, she feels guilty about letting Anoriath think they're still a couple, and yet she doesn't know how to break the news to him, and she feels she can't just ignore him and sleep elsewhere while she hasn't told him she has a new boyfriend.

Indeed, the elves seem to take everything more slowly and thoroughly than we do, including getting themselves into a mess.

As much as I enjoy walking around in Windhelm (unless the weather is really bad), I limit myself today to a quick shopping tour. I also pay a visit to the court wizard Wuunferth to ask him what to do about the evil mage Orthorn.

Wuunferth informs me that when left unguarded, a mage like Orthorn would likely be able to gather up enough magicka to free himself from his cage in a matter of hours, certainly within a day. Meaning, he's pretty certain to have escaped by now. But he promises he'll ask the jarl to send messages to other jarls asking them to arrest Orthorn when sighted.

Wuunferth has a most amazing voice, the deepest one I've ever heard.
Hearing him say the above phrase actually makes me wet. (Please don't tell Yrsarald!)

We rush towards Kynesgrove and Sahloknir's Burial Mound to rendezvous with Rudelphine and, should a dragon be awakened, hopefully kill him before he can do any harm to the population.

Having run through Kynesgrove, we see indeed a dragon from a long way away. I begin shooting at him and then I'm astonished to recognize him as Alduin – the very dragon who destroyed Helgen.

We shoot dozens of arrows into him, but none of them seems to even scratch him. I feel very frustrated. What if Alduin has some magical defense against arrows? What are we supposed to do then? Get closer to the burial mound, I suppose. If we can't harm Alduin, at least not from this range, then the only thing we can do is to find Rudelphine. Maybe she will know what to do.

Arriving at the burial mound, we see that Alduin is doing something, with the apparent purpose of awakening the dragon inside it. That one we kill before he can even take off.

My joy is ruined by Miraak stealing the dragonsoul and gloating at me. This does it. We'll return to Solstheim today and rub out that obnoxious prick.

At least Alduin leaves us alone for the time being. It doesn't even occur to me to wonder what his game may be. When I think about it afterwards, I cannot see one logical reason why he shouldn't have used the chance to kill the Dragonborn. And yet, he didn't. It means there is something important going on I don't know. All kinds of people and non-people seem to be playing games with me. But enough of that. Rudelphine is there and now she's demure and docile and tells me she'll answer all my questions. Nothing held back. I'm pleased with her improved attitude, but she is still going to get her punishment.

I learn that Rudelphine is a member of an ancient organization called The Blades who served the last Dragonborn emperor (that was Martin Septim two hundred years ago) and have been waiting for a new Dragonborn to appear ever since. Thalmors are their deadly enemies and that's the reason why Rudelphine has been so secretive and suspicious so far. In fact, she suspects the thalmors have something to do with the reappearance of the dragons.

She suggests we find a way to sneak into the Thalmor Embassy which is near Solitud. We should meet in Riverwood to make plans.

That is fine with me. But now... It's a pity it has begun to rain, but there's nowhere indoors we can go here.

To tell you the truth, after this encounter and the complete change of Rudelphine's behavior, I even feel sorry for her. That's why I order my followers to go out of sight to spare her the additional humiliation, and I stop the whipping soon after she starts to cry. After I've made her apologize, I tell her she's been forgiven. She knows now who the boss is. No more of that condescending "I know what you're going to do" talk.

I join my girls and we waste no time returning to Windhelm. Captain Gjalund doesn't seem too unhappy to receive another 2500 septims.

[series of 4 pictures you can click through; click on the first picture to make it big, then click again to see the next picture etc.; press  Esc to return to the text]

The wind is favorable and sooner than expected we're among the familiar gray-brown walls of Ravenrock.

We won't be going anywhere tonight. We just pay a brief visit to the market square where I'm most pleased to meet my friend Milore the alchemist on the market square and have a long cordial conversation with her. She mentions that a woman named Daynasa Avalu is looking for someone to take a certain to Master Sergius in Winterhold. I say I can do it, and Milore asks a boy to go and tell Mrs. Avalu. Soon the woman herself arrives and gives me the ring.

It's a quarter to nine in the evening when me and my followers go to sleep in our house. Early as it may be, I'm tired and there's nothing meaningful to do and this way we'll be able to make optimal use of the daylight hours tomorrow.



next awakening

Always Lost, Always Hopeful (87) Visiting the Dead Can Be Useful

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day






4-201-11-12 07:08
Keepers' Inn, Northkeep, Falkreath, Skyrim


It's a little too early for shopping. I decide to walk around to kill time. Lydia accompanies me and I take the opportunity to ask her if Jenassa doesn't like human men at all.

As far as Lydia knows, she's been with Imperial and Breton men in the past, but she finds Nord men too crude and unsophisticated, as well as lacking in patience and, er... capacity. She adores Jarl Balgruuf, though, which is why Irileth, another Dark Elf, hates her. But Lydia knows several women in Hviterun whom Irileth hates for the same reason. I find it hilarious.

At 8 o'clock, we visit the couple of shops that have opened. The others seem to start their workday at 9, but I'm not going to wait until then. We'll go to Aurora for serious shopping.

We make a short detour to the Half-Moon Mill to say hello to our friend Hert. His husband Hern is at home between his travels. He tells us about an island called Folkvangr far east to which one can get by ship from Windhelm.

Near Half-Moon Mill. This river is always delightfully soothing and beautiful.

In Aurora, I happen to notice a house called Hall of the Dead. It's not surprising that Aurora has a corpse storage like Nord settlements usually do, but I'm rather astonished that I've never paid it any attention until now.

There's a shrine of Arkay, in front of which you can pray if you wish, some benches, and a staircase that leads down to Aurora Catacombs. That's where the dead are stored, and once again, a few skeletons just feel they have to walk around and attack people. These ones seem a little confused. Maybe they woke up just a moment ago. But they're still hostile and we end up having to kill them.

Joyless corridors lead us to a door that opens into a strange large area. There's a hall where a man attacks us. His diary reveals that he was a priest of Arkay, but other than that I don't really understand what this was all about. On a table in the center of the hall lie the dead bodies of a woman and a child. Exploring this weird place further, we have to wade through some water, and finally we ascend to the ground level again and find ourselves in the Lakeside Cottage which is a house in Aurora we haven't been able to enter from the outside. It's apparently kept to be sold to someone as a reward for special merits. Except that it's unclear whom you'd have to turn to to buy it. There's no thane in Aurora. Maybe to the thane of Northkeep?

I find a key on one of the shelves. I try if it opens the front door. It does. But we're not leaving just yet.

The house is really pretty and cozy. Well, maybe the sleeping arrangements for the followers aren't all that comfortable, but I can live with that. [Grin.]

After we've tried out the cooking facilities and had a leisurely lunch, we exit the house by the front door which I lock again behind us. Unless someone comes and objects, I'm taking possession of this house.

Walking around and visiting the shops, I run into Almra, the talented child who works as a waitress at the inn occasionally. I give her the pretty doll I found in the basement of my new house and she gives me a flower as a return gift.

In the afternoon, we run east. There's nothing spectacular going on in Oakwood. The bandit camp opposite Aulbryn's House has been reinhabited, and as we run past, the men shout something to us, but we pay no attention and just keep running.

Esja, Esja! It's not a good idea to sit like this. People might see things.

Just as I thought, no underwear. That fashion hasn't yet spread wide in Skyrim.

We arrive in Riverwood where we first chat some with the blacksmith Alvor, the shopkeeper Lucan and her sister Camilla, and the innkeeper Orgnar.

I admire Alvor. He's like a fortress – in a good way. I mean, he transmits the feeling of utmost security.
I'm happy for his wife and daughter. And I really like his nephew...  ;-)

Then I tell my followers to wait for me. Having taken a deep breath, I head downstairs for another, the final insulting match with Rudelphine.

She's less rude this time. She tells me dragons have been reawaking. Yeah, I've noticed. Rudelphine has a reason to believe the next one will come to life on that burial mound I saw east of Kynesgrove, and it shall happen around noon the day after tomorrow. She suggests we hurry there without delay. I let her go ahead of us. Me and my followers will travel via Hviterun.

I intend to visit that Fellglow Keep place northwest of Valtheim first (blue marker) and hopefully find information about the books stolen from the Winterhold College. As you can see, it's about halfway between Hviterun and Kynesgrove. From there we'll go to that dragon place (green marker). Sahloknir's Burial Mound – that's where Rudelphine shall get herself a red butt after we've killed that dragon. I'm not really angry with her anymore, but it's a matter of principle. She needs to understand that her behavior has been unacceptable, yet she'd never take me seriously without significant pain.

When me and my followers sit down to relax briefly in the taproom before proceeding to Hviterun, Jenassa asks me innocently if I want to hear what she learned about the Silver-Bloods in Granite Hall yesterday. Why, yes, of course I want to hear it! Well, it turns out that while I was going from shop to shop, Jenassa had a longer conversation with Earana, a High Elf who sells clothes at the undercity market. She told Jenassa that there are several Silver-Bloods in the town, including Thane Hrol's steward Lorkmir Silver-Blood, but they are just businessmen and such. Even though there is much trade with Morpork, Granite Hall belongs to Whiterun Hold and the local Silver-Bloods, wealthy as they may be, keep strictly to the law, or at least as strictly as most other people.

Earana also told Jenassa that there are Silver-Bloods in various parts of Skyrim who prefer to spell their name as Silverblood or even use only their patronyms. Clearly they don't want to be associated with their infamous relatives in Morpork.

That's excellent work, Jenassa, but why did you keep it from me for a whole day? Jenassa shrugs and says she didn't think it was urgent. Of course, I exclaim. It would seem nothing is ever urgent for the elves. Not noticing (or pretending not to notice) my sarcasm, Jenassa replies: "Not much."

From Lydia and Jordis's faces, I can see that Jenassa is actually playing me. They have told me she finds my impatience amusing.

A cute scene at the other end of the taproom: Camilla is working at the baking oven and Sven is inspiring her.

The sun has already gone down by the time we reach Hviterun, but in a city like this, there is always light and there are people walking around. I feel profoundly happy here, looking around and chatting with passersby. In fact, I already felt wonderfully calm and peaceful in Riverwood. This region is where I belong. I mean, unless my real home should turn out even more delightful.

With my stepdaughter Lucia in tow, I walk around and talk to many people, including my close friend Carlotta and my sweetheart Ysolda, as well as people not all that dear to me.

I observe with amusement that Carlotta and Olfina seem to have a pact to keep an eye on each other and thwart Jon's advances. Ysolda confirms that she has noticed it too. But I won't hang around. Satisfied that nothing disastrous has happened while I was away, I go home with Lucia and let her tell me all her important child news. She's happy with the beautiful handheld mirror I brought her from my travels. Nobody in Hviterun has one like that.



next awakening






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Always Lost, Always Hopeful (59) "I Need to Talk Down to You Urgently"

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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
———————————————




previous day






4-201-10-15 01:53
Ysolda's House, Hviterun, Whiterun, Skyrim


Ysolda wakes up while I get dressed. I kiss her and tell her to go back to sleep. I'll be fine.

After a token breakfast, I go out and set to work. I've told you I like to do my crafting at night when no one is distracting me.

It's for some time now that we haven't looted any really cool gear. It's still good money and I'm looking forward to the day when I can afford to buy us a house in Solitud, but we really could use better armor, and yesterday's sad experience brought that point home in a most painful way. Fortunately at least, our weapons are really efficient.

The city is waking up. The preacher Heimskr is already at work between the statue of Talos and the holy tree Gildergreen.

I've still no idea what might happen to me when Rayya's death really hits me, and when it's going to happen, but in my current state of icy calmness I come up with the idea to kill a hundred forns as revenge for Rayya. Just hunt them like other hunters hunt animals. They are animals.

I've been feeling compassion for the forns because, firstly, they are Bretons (in a way), and secondly, they are fighting for the freedom of their country. But now I'm going to have no mercy. The gloves are off. Wait, what did I just say? What kind of an expression is it – "the gloves are off"? Where did I get that from? It's very stupid to take your gloves (or gauntlets) off when you're fighting. They give you protection. Well, never mind. As I was saying, I no longer care who – Bretons or Nords – are in the right and who are in the wrong and who was in The Reach first. All I care about is that the forns have killed one of people closest to me, so I'm going to arrange a genocide among them as revenge. I mean, we can really go, like, forn-hunting – travel back and forth in The Reach without any specific goal, and just seek out forns and kill them. Or maybe that'll get boring and we'd better do several smaller trips, slaying 10 or 20 forns on each tour?

I'll give it some thought, but I still want to do the Dark Brotherhood first.

After I've re-hired Jenassa as my active follower, we leave the city. We have a choice – either bypass Lake Ilinalta from the east or from the west. I choose the easterly route, passing through Riverwood, where we can coincidentally check out that mysterious man who snatched Jurgen Windcaller's Horn.

It's a sunny morning and the mountains around Hviterun are as pretty as ever. The most impressive is, of course, the one in the east on top of which lies High Hrothgar:

It may not be evident, but people assure me it's utterly impossible to climb up from this side.
The only known route to High Hrothgar goes through Ivarsted in the southeast.

Running to the east, towards the main intersection, it occurs to me to take a look in the Honningbrew Meadery. Maybe that mean insulting jerk August is there.

I tell my followers to wait outside and go in. August is there all right, along with the owner Sabjorn and one scary-looking man. There is nowhere to go sneaking where no one would notice me. So I just pull out my bow in plain view and aim it at August. He jumps up. I shoot and hit his belly. He falls on the floor, groaning. Seeing that the other two men show no interest in interfering, I walk up to the scumbag, grab his head by the hair, look into his eyes and slowly slit his throat.

On August's body, I find a letter suggesting that he was in the service of a man Juvenal. The latter's associate Brutus is informing August that Juvenal wants Mendrel eliminated. That's the fledgling we met at Fort Greenwall.

I don't particularly care about any of that. I'm more concerned with minimizing the trouble potentially resulting from the murder I just committed.

I look around and catch the eyes of Sabjorn. I don't really know what to say. "Sorry about the mess." I point at the blood on the floor.

He shrugs. "Shit happens, I guess. I'd appreciate if you didn't make a habit of it."

I have to smile. "I won't. Thanks."

He gives a sign to the other man and they approach, evidently to drag the corpse away. They don't look like intending to report me to the guards. I mumble "Goodbye," and leave.

On the bright side, I get a nice picture of that adorable butterfly.

When I tell my followers what I just did, they ask me if I'm crazy. Why did I put myself in danger and left my followers outside instead of letting them do their job?

I really don't have an answer. Maybe my brain isn't working clearly yet. Let's just move on, okay?

Arriving in Riverwood, I go to the inn and tell Delphine that I'd like to rent the attic room. She says they don't have an attic room, but I can have one of the others. Fine. So what's going to happen now? I go to the room and wait. After a while, Delphine comes in and says I must be the Dragonborn. She gives me Jurgen Windcaller's Horn and asks me to follow her. "That mysterious man" turns out to be not a man at all. I shouldn't be surprised, after seeing her in the Hviterun palace with Farengar.

We go into the big bedroom and Delphine opens a secret panel in the back of a cupboard. She asks me to close the door to the taproom. Then we go down the stairs into a big room in the basement. Delphine says she won't believe I'm Dragonborn simply because the Gaybores say so. I don't like her haughty attitude, so I walk out again.

I notice I have picked up a book about dragons. It says dragons are not born ot hatched, they don't mate or breed, and there are no known examples of dragon eggs. That's not true, because I've seen quite a few dragon eggs. I'm not going to try and hatch one, but they do exist:

It's not like it's important. If there'll never be any more dragons born, I'll be only too happy. And that book was obviously written by someone who had never actually seen a dragon. He was just repeating old tales.

I walk around in the village and talk to a couple of people. Then I think that maybe I'm being too harsh on Delphine. She may have a good reason to be afraid of something. Just look at her slender stature. And she gave me the horn I needed for the Gaybores. I decide to forgive her and hear her out.

I return to the inn. But instead of saying what it is she wants from me, she goes on with her haughty speech of how I may be Dragonborn or may be not, and how she needs to make sure she can trust me first. It's not like being Dragonborn it's awfully important to me, but I just can't stomach her attitude. I can't believe she went through all that effort (to say nothing of danger) just to get a chance to belittle me. With all the grace I can muster, I refrain from spitting in her eye. As I walk out the second time, she's like "You will return, I know you will."

I'm seething. There's hardly anything in the world I hate more than people who pompously tell me they know what I'm going to do. I'm done with that bitch for good. The whole world can go under before I set foot in that basement again.

Now me and my followers head west to destroy the Dark Brotherhood. I decide to go directly through the forest for a change, instead of the road. We end up attacked by a few bandits and wolves, as well as ascend a mysterious-looking staircase:

It leads to nothing except a beautiful view:

We bypass the villages on the southern shore of Lake Ilinalta, but Falkert lies directly in our path and when we arrive there at 7 o'clock in the evening under a pouring rain, I decide we'll spend the night here and go to the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary early in the morning.

next awakening