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SPOILER INFO
This fanfic novel is largely based on the events that occurred in an actual game of Skyrim I played. Therefore, it's inevitably a spoiler.
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previous day
4-201-10-14 06:07
Elisdriel, Hjaalmarch, Skyrim
Valdimar reaches for my breast and looks at me hesitantly. He has a hard-on, but he's not sure how much he is allowed to do. Get real, I tell him. It's outside where I'm the boss and you have to obey my orders. In the bed, we are a woman and a man. If you need it, go for it. Don't ask permission. It's my job to protest, should I feel violated.
He climbs onto me eagerly.
I guess I didn't tell you last night. This bedroom is so small that only two people can sleep here. That's why Lydia and Rayya are sleeping downstairs and Valdimar and I won't have to be shy of anyone. Although, to be quite frank, in this kind of miraculous ambience I don't even care.
The morning air outside is chilly and we're a little sad to leave this fairytale house in the midst of rocky mountains and big predators. But I'm sure we'll be returning as often as we can.
East of us lies Orotheim, a nest of bandits the jarl of Morthal wants destroyed. It's not far, but we have to cross a fast-flowing river:
Walking on that treetrunk is very scary, but also very exciting.
Orotheim is a cave. There are no sentries outside, just a couple of human corpses impaled on sharp sticks. Sorry guys, I'm afraid you need more than that to make us squeal.
There are less than ten bandits inside, scattered across caves and passages, and they're relatively easy to kill. One bandit surrenders and we leave him be. We exit the cave and head south-southwest.
That's me on the foreground, and I think you can tell who is Valdimar, who is Rayya and who is Lydia. ;-)
Roriksted is living its peaceful secluded life, as I'm glad to note. Nothing new around here.
Do you remember that the son of the innkeeper Mralki, Erik, the one I had wonderful sex with the last time we were here, wants to become a warrior, but his father won't let him? I have decided I'll talk to Mralki. After all, Erik is my boyfriend, so I'm supposed to help him as much as I can.
Mralki brings up a number of reasons why he can't let Erik go. One of them is that he has no money to buy him an armor. I offer to give him the money. After a second of hesitation, Mralki decides to give up objecting. He realizes his son is no longer a child and ought to be allowed to have a live of his own.
We stay for a few hours. I find a moment to tell the girls about last night and this morning.
"And how do you think is poor Valdimar supposed to guess if he has to do what you tell him or is allowed to do what he wants?" asks Rayya.
"It's very simple," I explain patiently. "When I have something specific on my mind and ask a man to do it, I want him to do it. But when I have no idea what I want, I hate it when he demands a decision from me."
"It may be elementary to you and me," says Lydia, "but are you aware that no one teaches men such things?"
"Yeah..." It's evidently true and I'm slightly confused. "You can tell him."
"Does that mean we can do it with him?" says Rayya.
"Of course you can do it with him as much as you want." I think about what I just said. "Well, maybe not "of course". I mean, I'm giving you the permission. He's not my boyfriend. But you can't give him orders like I can. You can only ask nicely."
"Oh, don't worry." Lydia smiles. "We'll be nice enough."
I notice Erik entering. I walk up to him and give him the good news. He is very happy. He would be even happier to spend some time alone with me. I tell him he won't get two good things at the same time. The truth is, I'm still kind of floating on air from what Valdimar and I did in Elisdriel, and even though I'm very fond of Erik, I'm just not in the mood for another intimate encounter so soon. I'm not going to tell Erik that, of course. I just say I want to use the daylight to travel as far south as I can.
We're actually headed for the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary which is near Falkert. This means going first to the south over the hills to Granite Hall, then along the highway to the east to Northkeep, and then we'll see if we're going to spend the night there or in Falkert. Naturally, it all depends on how much we'll be delayed en route.
In Granite Hall, we make but a quick shopping stop. I won't even waste time on locating my boyfriend Mojarik. All I care about is moving on. We run eastwards in a kind of chilly but still nice weather.
At 3 o'clock in the afternoon, we arrive at a crossing. I know we'll have to go further east, to the next crossing, and then turn south, but we stop here next to the roadsigns for a moment all the same to catch our breath. Then I hear male voices talking somewhere near. They are going to attack us, and they betray themselves – like a dog who barks before he attacks, thereby giving you a few seconds to turn towards him and prepare for defense. That's exactly what is happening here. We draw our weapons and get ready, and the next moment they're all over us.
Forns. We've met a couple in the past, but they weren't dangerous. These ones are incredibly strong and fast. I get hit real bad, manage to retreat a few meters, so I can shoot arrows into a couple of enemies. Then I help Lydia finish off the last archer at some distance. That was close. How can some roadside savages be such fierce fighters? I look in amazement at Lydia and Valdimar. Where is Rayya? There she is. She's dead.
Rayya is dead. This is nothing like the nightmare I had the other night, but my dear lovely beautiful Rayya is no more.
To tell you the truth, I don't feel anything. I'm numb as numb can be. In my mind, there is complete emptiness. I can't even shed a tear. Lydia and I stand side by side next to the dead body of our closest friend. Valdimar is discreet enough to stand back and not say anything.
Well, there's nothing we can do for her, is there?
No, says Lydia. Her soul is on its way to Sovngarde and her body will fade away soon.
I look at her, surprised. "Doesn't it matter she's not a Nord?"
"No. Whenever a soldier dies in battle, his soul goes to Sovngarde and his body just disappears after... I don't know, a couple of days I suppose. Where do you think all those killed soldiers go? Nearly a half of them are non-Nords, aren't they?" Lydia keeps standing with her head down, looking at Rayya. I can barely make out what she's saying. "Have you ever seen dead bodies lying about when you return to a battlefield a few days later?"
"Did the same thing happen to Kharjo then?"
"Of course. It's a law of nature."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I almost scream.
Lydia turns to look at me, surprised. "You didn't ask." She seems shaken by the sight of me and hurries to put her hands onto my shoulders. "Laura, I'm sorry. I had no idea you didn't know."
I can't stand to look Lydia in the eyes, and I can't stand to look in the direction of dead Rayya. Why am I bringing my dearest people to death?
"We never talked about Kharjo," explains Lydia quietly, misinterpreting my looking away.
Yeah, this is not about Kharjo. I just can't stand the thought that Rayya is never going to walk next to me and look at me and talk to me. Ever. It can't be! The life can't be so cruel. I turn around and begin running to the east. If I started crying now, I'd cry forever.
This disaster changes our plans, of course. We're not going against the Dark Brotherhood just the three of us. We'll head east, to Hviterun where I'll re-hire Jenassa. Or sould I take Mikki? No. I'm not putting a young maiden into such danger, no matter how good she may be in the training hall.
The right turn would take us to Northkeep, closer to the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary.
The road straight ahead bending slightly to the left goes to Hviterun.
The road straight ahead bending slightly to the left goes to Hviterun.
When we're already seeing the houses of Hviterun, I ask Lydia if it's only civilians who are buried in those Halls of the Dead.
"Civilians and also soldiers who don't die in combat."
"So when a soldier gets stabbed to death while sleeping, or falls from the roof..."
"...then a priest performs the last rites as he would with a civilian, except that the dead warrior becomes a draugr to guard the Hall of the Dead."
"That's how it really is?" I find it rather baffling.
"Yeah, why? What's wrong?"
I'm unsure what to answer. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess."
We run silently for a while.
"We mustn't grieve for the fallen soldiers," explains Lydia. "In a certain way, they are happy now. It's the civilians who have it the hardest. They can't protect themselves, so they are relying on us. We the soldiers have a duty to survive for the sake of the farmers and workers thanks to whom we have food, clothes and shelter. Because that's more important than anything else."
Whatever. I'm not up to this kind of philosophy right now.
Without any further notable events, we arrive in Hviterun. We walk around a bit. I wonder if I ought to get drunk, but on second thought I'd better not. I'll be liable to kill everyone at the inn, should the shock fade and the grief hit my brain. I'd better go to sleep. It's not even 7 o'clock, but I feel exhausted. Lydia offers to come and sit with me, but I tell her I'll be fine. Lucia can watch me sleep and hold my hand if necessary. Lydia and Valdimar are free to stay up or go to sleep as they wish.
Lydia remains skeptical and I realize that of course I don't want to shock Lucia with my current mood. Suddenly I realize what I need to do. I tell Lydia to go to the palace or something. Or, on second thought, she'd better go and tell Lucia that I have to be away tonight because of something very important and secret.
And arrange a place for Valdimar to sleep tonight, says Lydia.
Right. That too.
Me, I'll go and find Ysolda. I'm going to tell her that I need her to be with me tonight. That I don't want to do anything, I don't necessarily even want to talk much, I merely need someone to be with me, just in case.
Before Lydia and I part ways, I have one last question.
"If a soldier gets executed, like that Stormcloak in Helgen, will his soul also go to Sovngarde?"
"I don't think so. Wasn't there a priest who..."
"Yes, there was," I interrupt her. "Good night." I head for the marketplace at a brisk pace.
Ysolda doesn't ask any questions. She sees that this is serious. We go to her house. I feel safe with her by my side. I mean, I'm no longer afraid of what might happen to me and what I might end up doing. I fall asleep almost immediately.
next awakening
