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SPOILER INFO
This article contains a little information on some mods, but hardly anything worth calling a spoiler.
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I don't know what a "Skyrim" is, but it sounds filthy and I wish people would stop asking me to try it.
@timmyisanerd
I just recently bought Skyrim. I only got a few hours in and grew bored of it. I honestly don’t understand why this game is so popular. It seems that there’s a lot to do, but all of it boring.
JC Reed
Q: So what's the game like?
A: Stuff to find, people to kill, flowers to pick.
@chrisremo
[Replying to the question: "What was the first thing you did when you started playing Skyrim for the first time?"]
I looked into the sky.
It was the prettiest thing in a game I had ever seen. It looked so real
Joseph Taylor
There's a Whole Bunch Of Stuff To Do in the game. And here's what everyone I know and trust said to me when I said I was rolling around in the proverbial mud of Skyrim with my theoretical tongue figuratively hanging out, metaphorically hooting it up in a grand attempt to enjoy the darn thing, and somehow falling short:
"Are you doing the main quest? If you're doing the main quest, maybe chill out a bit and just have some fun."
So, wait, the main quest isn't supposed to be fun?
Tim Rogers
As I age, I become more and more like a Skyrim NPC, muttering the same lines of dialogue to myself over & over again, sitting down and getting back up for no reason, going to bed in all my clothes, so on and so forth.
Dan Morison
Of his own accord my horse just galloped into a tower, climbed a winding staircase, crossed a bridge, and killed three bandits.
@chrisremo
Bear, this is a judgment free zone but you have to tell me the truth: this isn't your garnet ring, is it? You stole it, didn't you?
@acarboni
My wife just killed a bear in Skyrim who was carrying 9 gold pieces. I don't want to know where he was carrying 9 gold pieces.
@gameism
Lord_Badmagic:
"Short answer: Because Bethesda are incompetent.
Long answer: Because Bethesda are really totally and utterly beyond hope of redemption incompetent."
Roniellio:
"Then why are you still playing Bethesda games?
I'm going to go ahead a guess: mods."
One thing that Skyrim seems to not comprehend is that snow and ice [are] fucking cold. You're constantly walking around seeing people wearing things that you can't help but wonder how they haven't frozen to death, or at least lost an arm (or a nipple) to frostbite.
wse_jack
I would understand if [LoversLab] mods were buried in the depths of sketchy foreign file-share sites shrouded in spyware and silence. But users swap fictional sex stories the way other players swap tales of slaying dragons. Ripped middle-aged warriors proving irresistible to coquettish Cyrodiil schoolgirls, midget heroes having rough sex with their giant hermaphrodite allies, foursomes with ancient zombified warriors, a woman in the skin of a slaughtered bear having sex with an actual bear – all these and more regaled like a bro at the bar bragging about his latest conquest to resounding applause from his bro brothers.
Mark Hill
Q: Why do Argonians have breasts?
A: Otherwise, they couldn't get jobs as maids.
RevDrBong
Always walk in the dark, because if you run, you might trip and hurt yourself.
Laura the Dragonborn
Within the last few weeks I've re-installed Skyrim twice (to 2 different locations), switched mod managers (from NMM to MO), purchased Dragonborn (so I could update some of my more important mods), and BOSS'd, SUM'd, Tes5Edited, Bashed, and Optimized 'till all my thoughts consist of .esp and .dds files. What began as a project for the "perfect" build of Skyrim has devolved into me just not wanting to let this stupid game win.
Totally_Not_Sir_Hobo
I'd appreciate an endorsement or two, but I don't really make [my mods] for that purpose. If I did I'd've been making chainmail bikinis a long time ago.
Mok Chaoticran
We need a Skyrim mod that reminds the player that he is hungry in the real world, and severely curbs his efficiency in the game until he has eaten.
Bardslayer
Playing Skyrim, I finally understood why some people in the real world have red eyes in the photos.
Bardslayer
Solutions to Skyrim CTDs:
Before I start Skyrim I open photos of beautiful naked women and then when Skyrim crashes I am like dammit, oh hey she is pretty and then the anger goes away.
alex61821
Just use a screenshot of Skyrim as your (Crash To) Desktop wallpaper. You could set up multiple screenshots as a slideshow and pretend there was nothing wrong.
Grey Cloud
I personally use [---] some NPC overhauls to make the people of Skyrim look less like, how do I put this mildly... warmed up shit.
Vachnic
I spent more time customizing my Skyrim character than I have ever spent getting ready to go out/looking nice. Priorities!
@abbieheppe
Oh Skyrim, when will you give him back?
@Bridget_BD
I WANT TO BREAK BRIAN'S SKYRIM IN HALF SOMETIMES. #attentionplease
@mary_poorman
I'm going to learn how to lucid dream so I can play Skyrim while I sleep as well.
@sirmitchell
Since asking on the Nexus website is like a black man politely requesting a lynching, I thought I'd ask here: [---].
Soviet Heavy
Are you actually a modder if Nexus hasn't banned you?
nemocdt
Can someone do a Skyrim mod that offends PETA pls?
@AnnoyedGamer
I had been testing the mod EveryBody's Different which randomizes the NPC size by race. In order to see if the mod works, I had made some races excessively tall and some excessively short for a short test game. Satisfied that the mod really did what it was supposed to do, I turned the height ranges back to the ones I actually wanted in my game.
An hour later at a supermarket, I saw a Dark Elf woman a head taller than the people next to her and thought: "Dammit, I overlooked the Dark Elves' setting!" Two seconds later, I realized this was real world and it was quite accidental that that woman looked like a Dark Elf (I would have never believed it was even possible!) and she was really that tall.
Bardslayer
Do you know who I am? Dragonborn Vanquisher of Alduin, defeater of Miraak, savior of the world. If I want that sweet roll I'm gonna take it!
Daddy Cool!
And my mom just ruined my afternoon plans by showing up and asking to play Skyrim.
@XanderSliwinski
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