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SPOILER INFO
This article doesn't contain any spoilers.
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How to make a Bethesda game developer happy?
Give him a 2% pay raise.
How does a Bethesda game developer become a sex god?
By sticking a finger into his wife's vagina 10 000 times.
How do Bethesda games benefit from real-world experience?
If pigeons like to hang around people's trash bins, then it makes sense that bears prefer to hunt in the middle of a road.
What proves that Bethesda game developers are capable of independent thinking and not stuck on stereotypes?
Just because real-world dogs can swim doesn't mean Skyrim wolves should.
How does Bethesda guarantee to take you and your troops across a minefield safely?
By fast movement.
Why are graduates of Bethesda Cooking Academy considered the most prestigious chefs all over the world?
Because they have learned how to make boiled eggs, baked potatoes and ham sandwiches (tomato variety available for vegetarians), and that's all anyone ever wants to eat, of course.
What was the previous business of Bethesda's founder, his life-long passion into which he put all his heart but somehow it never succeeded?
An ugliness parlor.
What is the key principle to picking Bethesda game developers' minds?
With each time you're late for work, you learn to be more punctual.
