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SPOILER INFO
Very minor spoiler: reveals the names of a few locations and a couple of NPCs.
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This is a bonus chapter to "Always Lost, Always Hopeful" that takes place approximately half a year after the epilogue.
A few days before I left Skyrim, Jenassa promised to tell me about her past when I return. This is her tale. As I had promised her, I'll keep it a secret from everyone else in our world. Only you get to see it.
Jenassa was born in a village south of Narsis in southern Morrowind.
Jenassa grew up as a simple naive country girl who didn't know practically anything about the outside world, but the life was to teach her much, much more than to most other people.
She was 10 years old when they were attacked by raiding Argonians from the south. Her whole family was captured. She was sold into slavery together with her elder sister Cadiva, but separately from their parents whom she never saw again.
Cadiva and Jenassa lived in a large cave turned into a slave dormitory. They couldn't get cots next to each other, because Cadiva was accommodated with the older girls. They could talk on most evenings, but both were usually exhausted from the work.
Jenassa saw things being done to her sister which she was too small to understand. Such as a group of drunken Argonian men coming to the other wing of the dormitory and making a number of girls strip naked. Then they would grope them, talking to each other and laughing coarsely, before choosing one to lay in one or another position, occasionally with the girl wailing with pain. Jenassa doesn't really remember how she herself was treated and what work she did. Long periods of time are simply blank in her memory. She presumes they are too horrible to remember. But she remembers having spent most of the time underground. And that the weather outside was very warm and often rainy.
After six years, she was sold to a slave trader and never saw her sister again. During a journey that lasted weeks, she was chained to her sleeping place inside a carriage and saw little of the outside. After a colder period, they reached an area just as hot as her residence in Black Marsh, but very dry (even though close to the ocean as she eventually learned). She was told she was in a country called Hammerfell. Her new Redguard owners considered her old enough to serve in a brothel. She was taught the Contraception spell and the boss, a tall fierce-looking man, deflowered her personally, after which she had to stand on a dusty street of ramshackle shacks day in, day out, attracting the attention of men passing by. When she failed to bring in enough money, she was punished one or another way. Because of the warm climate, the prostitutes were naked almost all the time. In fact, they weren't even given any clothes by their owners. Only over time did they succeed in acquiring pieces of clothing one way or another.
In addition to the local men, almost all of whom were Redguards, there were many sailors of various races among her customers, including many High Elves and Wood Elves, but few Dark Elves. None of the men were very sophisticated, to put it politely. Occasionally, Jenassa was chosen to be among the girls amusing men at parties held by the boss for his employees and/or friends.
Jenassa had no concept of geography whatsoever. She remembered that the town where they were was called Lainbon or Lainebon and it was not far from the city of Gilane.
Not that it mattered much, because during all those years she never got farther than 500 meters from her "home".
One day the town was attacked by Aldmeri Dominion troops. Whether it was a single raid or a part of a war, or if the raiders were even legitimate Dominion soldiers, Jenassa has no idea. Almost all the attackers were Wood Elves. They looted the town thoroughly, and coincidentally rounded up a large number of women and girls, free and slave alike. The locals were mostly Redguards and the raiders didn't care too much for those. They took them anyway, but the women with lighter skin were guarded with special care. All the prisoners were taken to the harbor where they waited for several hours until all the loot was loaded onto the ships. It was the first time Jenassa saw the ocean – or, for that matter, any body of water of considerable size.
There seemed to be more women than the pirates. Their captors being elves, it wasn't unsurprising that all the elven women got raped on the spot, many by several men, while among the non-elves many were left alone. Jenassa didn't attempt to resist, because to her it was hardly any different from her brothel "work". In fact, she and her colleagues were even amused to hear the formerly free women scream, cry and beg.
The ships took them south to a country known as Valenwood. Jenassa learned during the journey that even though the raiders found elven women more attractive, Nords and Bretons had much higher sales value, because they were more desired internationally.
On the shore, Jenassa changed hands several times, had to stand in groups of female slaves, smaller each time, and examined by potential buyers, more thoroughly each time, until she was handed alone to an important-looking man. She didn't understand the formalities and had no idea if the man had anything to do with the pirates or simply bought her on the market.
She learned the man's name was Faulgor and he was a weapons dealer (although she eventually heard rumors that he was either an ex-spy who had spent most of his life on the Imperial territory, or a former battlemage fallen into disfavor). She was told she was his official concubine, that is, the second wife, the first wife being a local Wood Elf.
They lived in a city called Woodhearth.
Jenassa was technically free to move around, but in order to go out, she needed to ask permission first, either form her husband or the first wife who hated her. She rarely used the opportunity. To tell you the truth, already while she was being moved around in Woodhearth while sold and resold, she had been so overwhelmed by all the big houses and crowds and noise that she was not too unhappy to be confined to the luxurious mansion and the garden almost all the time.
Faulgor had sex with her on a regular basis (3–4 times most weeks; usually she even got physical satisfaction) and treated her decently, but he was dull and silly and the life was deadly boring. From a couple of serving girls Jenassa became friendly with, she learned that the reason for the first wife's dislike for her was that Faulgor favored Jenassa. What might she had done to deserve it, she had no idea, and neither did she know in which way he might have been "favoring" her, because she never noticed any signs of affection.
Jenassa knew she should have been grateful for having been rescued from the hell she had been living in previously, yet she longed to get away. However, she was in a totally unknown region, presumably very far from home. There was no way she could have possibly even left the city. Apart from which, she had nowhere to return to. For all she knew, her native place could still have been under Argonian rule, and everyone she had known might well have been either dead or enslaved far from home.
Nevertheless, she refused to accept remaining in Woodhearth for the rest her life. That's why she didn't want to get pregnant. At the same time, she was terrified at the prospect of getting caught using the Contraception spell (in case the rumor of her husband being a powerful mage was true.) While she had been a prostitute, her colleagues had taught her thoroughly about counting days, but she had never really believed in it. And so the double fear was really eating her up. Apart from which, Faulgor was getting cross with her that she didn't get pregnant.
Jenassa had an opportunity to meet some High Elves who seemed a lot more intelligent than her husband and the other men she had known. For some reason, many High Elves visited her husband. She pondered a lot about the possibility of getting together with one of them, but she realized it was probably impossible. After all, she was an official wife.
Still, she eventually did become close to a High Elf ship-owner named Kalalian. Somehow they hit it off well and ended up having many frank conversations. She innocently asked him about various countries and he taught her a lot of geography.
Eventually Jenassa decided to confide in Kalalian. He agreed to help her, and advised that the only way for her to escape was by returning to the Imperial territory, which meant Cyrodiil in the north. But he demanded sex in return. Jenassa agreed, even though she knew she would face horrible punishment when caught. After the first time, she no longer had a choice anyway – she was now completely at Kalalian's mercy who could denounce her at any moment. She wondered how she got herself into this mess. On the bright side, he was intelligent and really interesting person, but as for escaping... he kept telling her to wait for a suitable opportunity. Even with elven patience, Jenassa started to fear he was simply taking advantage of her. But she put up with it, because conversations with him brought light into her lifeless existence. She wondered why Kalalian would never mention getting together with her himself. Was he already married, or had it something to do with legal formalities? She didn't dare ask, fearing to upset him.
But then one day Kalalian informed Jenassa her chance to get free had come. A Dark Elf caravan was leaving for Cyrodiil that very night. He had arranged everything with their leader, he said, so she wouldn't have to worry about payment and such. Jenassa made bold to ask if it wouldn't have been simpler to escape by ship, but Kalalian explained that harbors were watched very strictly and all the people's identity documents checked.
She left the house in the very early morning and Kalalian took her to a Dark Elf man who seemed trustworthy. (Obviously, Jenassa was an expert on men.) The latter gave her new clothes and a new name and instructed her how to behave and what to say when asked something. He watched Jenassa while she was changing her clothes, but otherwise didn't harass her in any way. The caravan traveled unhurriedly to the northeast, stopping at a variety of locations for trading. Jenassa never arouse any suspicions, because she was also a Dark Elf. Annoying as the slow speed may have been, they put the resting pauses to good use by teaching her to use weapons.
Finally they crossed the border to Cyrodiil. Jenassa was allowed to tag along as far as the city of Skingrad, after which she was on her own. She felt the place was much too close to the border of Valenwood – so close that each time when she went to sleep, she was afraid that soldiers from Valenwood would come after her. She didn't know how likely a raid (or, for that matter, a new war; or maybe even her husband would set some wheels in motion to have her extradited) would have been, but she knew she had to get farther away from the Dominion border. Unfortunately, she had no money. So she took on a job as a caravan guard, because it was the only way to travel. Of course, traveling with a caravan carried its own dangers, but she preferred those to the danger from the south. She took good care to act the part and hide her lack of skills, talking little and listening in to the other guards' conversations, and using every opportunity to practice.
And so the work took Jenassa from one place to another. By the time she found a caravan headed for Skyrim, she had become a reasonably decent sellsword. She had gotten used to big cities, but remained forever reluctant to enter dungeons.
She decided that Skyrim was far enough to be safe from both the Dominion and the Argonians, as well as an ideal country for living unnoticed, with very much local autonomy and as good as no central government. She felt safe enough to even take her real name back.
One day Jenassa heard that Irileth whom she had known during her time in slavery had settled down in Hviterun, so she looked her up. But Irileth was not happy at all to see her, evidently traumatized by her life in Hammerfell even more than Jenassa was and hating everything that reminded her of it – even if it was a fellow slave and a former friend at that.
So Jenassa just continued to travel all across Skyrim as a sellsword. After all, that was the only thing she could do, apart from satisfying men in bed. As her savings built up, she began spending more and more time in Hviterun which was stable and prosperous in Skyrim terms, as well as pleasantly laid-back. Eventually she established a romantic relationship and finally settled down with Anoriath. He was understanding and interesting to talk to. Unfortunately, household work reminded Jenassa too much of her domestic duties in Valenwood, which caused occasional conflicts between her and him.
Jenassa didn't mind traveling to northern parts of Cyrodiil on occasion, but she never dared return to Morrowind. While telling me all the above, she realized it was not the fear of a new Argonian raid. What she was really afraid of was finding out what had been the fate of her family members.
"Didn't you feel bad in Ravenrock?" I asked her.
Jenassa knew what I meant – after we visited Hammerfell, she asked me later
[see chapter 185] not to make her go there again, even though we had only been just across the border, nowhere near to where she had lived, and spent less than a day.
"No," Jenassa replied. After a little silence, she continued: "I don't even hate Argonians. I realized at one point that if I hated all the members of all races whose members have maltreated me, life would be impossible. I'd go insane. That's why I have learned to see people as persons, not as members of a race." She smiled and added: "Up to a point."
I smile back and nod. Now I know why Jenassa loves High Elves.
